How, do I deserve it

I just read my words and cried, you see, I know what I am capable of.

But, when I look at myself, I do not see, how he sees that I deserve it, his love.

I pray that it clicks in, but also if it gives me a big head, then I do not want it.

I know I love him, I know he loves me and that is enough for now.

When you know, he knows maybe really that is enough…

A little love

I was about to go for the evening and I felt the words, a little love goes a long way.

I was talking to someone yesterday and I said, what I believe are wise words, because the truth has to be said.

Sometimes we hide words, because it hurts us, or letting it out, is not right.

Who said, I don’t know who made the rules many go by, but I remove my emotion and as I told them, I will be dead honest.

I cannot help, if I hold back and its in my DNA, to follow the law of my father. Yes I cried when I shared, my deepest truth, but I had too and with that my angel was my witness.

His love, the love that has guided me to here today is building a boldness, a strength and a truth, that I will not be afraid.

I will stand for the righteous law of my father, who died for me and with that, whatever it takes. Many run from danger, I learned to run towards it, and he knows, my fear is not doing enough and facing him, when its my time for judgement.


I use to work under the assumption, fake it, till you make it.

And with confidence, if I thought about anything I wanted to do, I would feel the need to hide and act dumb. So the limelight would not flow in my direction, but as I grew older and got bolder. I found if I just went for it, then things got done, and its OK, but also, I was pushing myself towards, changing my need to hide.

In the last couple of days, I posted on what we call marketplace here, to sell my excess belongings. The lord said to do it, and it took a lot for me to do so.

In lock down I made many blankets, crocheting what I had tucked away. Some examples to explain myself, you see when I was younger, we had little, but what I was taught, was to use what you had, save every piece of material etc and my mum told me about Joseph’s coat of many colours, and that stuck in a good way. Because it is not about the coat and the cost, but the love it was made from.

And I cannot read a pattern, to save my life, go figure.

Wondered if I could make a round one & dadaaah
Colour adds happiness
I had heaps of balls, that were baby 4 ply, so I doubled it.

I don’t know if its the artist in me, or what it is, but if I see a colour I like and something inspires and fires up inside. I walk up and down with that ball of wool and wait for something else to match it. Tones, shades etc, work in my head and I see it finished, what it could be, and I do know if it doesn’t work, I unravel it and cannot sit still until its right.

It is like when I paint or draw, I pray first and as I question what I see, I hear “done”.

I have kept little scraps of material and made pin cushions, what I am trying to say is, putting this up for sale is like selling your art for the first time.

You expose your talent and gifts and when people appreciate it, confidence grows.

It is like this blog, I write mainly to my father, but also to me, to say, “hey your doing well, keep going”. You are worth the effort and you are capable, (dad said) very capable…

So cheers to all… whether your an excellent cleaner, mum etc, we all deserve a little boost.

Joy comes to those…

The other day, we were putting together a list, for our end of year BBQ, I put down salad.

Someone said, “ooh, what about your potato salad, its the only one, everyone wants here”.

That filled me with JOY, why?, because, I looked at something and made the effort to seek improvement, to make what I call, the Ultimate Potato Salad.

Many times when I make something, I use my secret ingredients, love and consciousness. The ingredients speak to you, if you let them.

What I mean is, most people see a landscape as they drive along, but I see colours, textures, how shades and tones work together. To really see, not only what is right in front of you, but what it is trying to show you.

I make and this is big for me to say, the best carrot cake, how did this happen. The thought of going out and having cake is a rare thing for me, seeing a sad piece of dry cake on offer in a cafe. It fires something in me, how stingy, to just put in 2 cups of grated carrots, and what is up with the icing. So, I got out all my recipe books and did my home work, I understand the reaction and science of each ingredient, how the effect of simple changes, can make a huge difference.

Thinking about how the living word is our recipe to follow, and knowing my allergies, I found the key, then the icing, I put it on, left it in the fridge and cut the next day, well, something magic happens, it is no longer just a cake, it becomes desert like.

It is like mulling on the word, give it time, it will improve, it will show you the way and give you something so unexpected.

Be conscious, and see what the father has to show you…

I pray for his chosen people

On the news lately a certain country, it has been about a certain Tennis player, who said someone in authority, harmed her, now she has seemed to have disappeared. And why did they try to show someone else, who you could tell was not her. Do they think we are fooled, or waiting for our response.

I was talking to a girl who was from this country once, and how would she describe the men.

I got narcissist, selfish, ignorant, tantrum throwing man child, what she meant was, if they do not get there own way, and in the conversation they put out a threat, to make you do what they want. They will use force, intimidation etc, when they throw a man fit.

Now, I know that not all people think the same, but trying to control people on mass and lying to them, to do so, is very wrong, but only the father, can step in here & other countries banning together, to say hey, wait a minute, we find this unacceptable.

When they put limitations on our exports, all I could think was, are they trying to starve their people. Who are they really harming here, what is this senseless need for power. Is it like Hitler and they only have one testicle, that affects their brain.

Regardless of their so called “mental training camps”, for those rising up, standing for freedom, against this senseless power grab. It does not matter the amount of nuclear power you may display. The father ultimately will see you, when it comes to your time of judgement.

And then I hear, nuclear water storage is full and they will start dumping it in the ocean. Here, we have lobster shows and the fisherman said, that they are seeing more and more malformed fish, every time they go out. What I saw was, do they think, the ocean will clean it up, the ocean is not a toilet, the water moves around the globe, via currents. I would ask them this, if they enjoy eating sea food, then why pollute it.

It is just ignorance, and sheer stubbornness, to not think of others in a kind way, it not thinking like Jesus. The stories of the bible and evidence of him being here, is not some fictional story, its fact.

So, for those people, whom seek the truth about the Lord, I pray for you, fear not, for he is always with you and when you don’t see his footsteps, he is carrying you.

Oy, its cold & I’ve been thinking again

Last night, it was cold.

What is wrong with that, its Summer in Australia and normally sitting around late 20’s early 30’s and very warm.

But, I was rolling around trying to find the warm spot. Should have nicked the cats blanket instead, lol.

I know many would like it to be warmer, but when you live in a place, when every drop of water is precious, you would understand.

I love the fact, I did ask for La Nina, but did not realise the cold. I thank the father for allowing it to come back here and fill out dams and water the land.

Now, back to thinking. Watching American house & renovation shows, something I do not understand, drain pipes, they run from the spouting to the lawn or close to the house. Termites love damp ground, so why with such an investment, why would you do this, when you pay for services. Here, we run underground to the street, down the gutter and then into storm water drains.

I do not get many things, houses here take force to knock down here, on those shows they just crumble, how is that an investment.

What I am getting at is, cost cutting, you cannot cost cut, your time with the father, you cannot shorten his run off, you must build appropriately, to build strong. So when I see the natural, I wonder about those peoples lives, do they understand, understand you cannot put fancy tiles and think you have upgraded, you have gotta build right.

I know I use something practical to show what I mean, but it makes sense. Time and time again, the world is an example of what not to do, you just gotta see the msg & understand the significance.

Every time, how thrilling

It still totally surprises me when, what I am posting and my meaning is being said, out of the mouth of someone, whom I consider close to the Lord.

On Monday, when I went out and had lunch for the Prayer meeting breakup, I felt strongly to wear a necklace that read Faith. Some of the girls asked what it said, and I told them, “even George Michael said, you gotta have faith, faith, faith”.

Faith I always say good morning too, along with all the rest, those I can think of anyway.

And then, what the spirit told us Tuesday, Believe the living word.

If you weren’t me, then you would think nothing of this, but the revelation, that right now, things are happening, how thrilling.

Faith is belief in action, I know things are happening, the enemy is not happy, guess what, the more he grumbles, the more I shout for JOY… lol

If you make a noise..

Last night I watched part two of the Spice girls, and I saw something that I did not like.

If you stand for the truth, your seen as trouble or a (B), but the male always seems to walk away, clean as a whistle. When his actions should be confronted and shown as an insult to men.

And as a mum, everything ended up being my fault in one form or another. I will own my failures, but I will not be singled out, my children have TWO parents, not just me.

When I was young, I was abused, mentally & physically, I was also a child of an abuser (no pity required here), I grew up not seeing one man, with any moral fibre or honour, until I saw it with my own eyes, the first time.

You see, I realised there are a lot of men, but few are a man, amongst men.

As a girl, I had no rights, I would have been dragged through the wringer, if I brought justice in, even though I was the victim. So, all those whom had harmed me, got away with it, but my father knows, he also knows, I have stepped from that threshold.

I am no longer their victim, but I am my fathers VICTOR.

Yes, there are women, who use, and lie to act like they are a victim, only to cause harm for others. The harm is, when we really need to be believed, and seen, but also supported and justified.

We are strong, we give birth, we make a house a home, we are awesome when we are allowed to fly.

I am woman hear me roar….

Chewing on his living word

As you may have read, yesterday I posted a word, straight from him.

And, since then I have been mulling it over, meditating on it, because his word is like a pop up book, there is always more, if your willing to dig deep and be open to receive.

Since finding my place in him, certain information has been set inside me. And this is the latest, most wonderful word to have.

Because, you read the word, you mull over it and you get it and live the living word. When I had my needles, out loud, I stood on his word, I took hold and believed it beyond any doubt, regardless of whom I was with.

Take no thought for tomorrow, he feeds the birds and its true, for this, I also stood on and he delivered, literally.

When I chose him over a family member, I asked what is wrong with them (this need for total control), he opened the bible and it read something like, when their demon is cast out, unless they continue, 7 more even worse come and reside, that was frightening to read at the time, but I saw it in them and I was sad for them, but I still pray.

Many, many times, his word has been my greatest blessing, my greatest comfort and my greatest strength. Having him as not only my dad, but my friend and knowing what I have cannot be bought but treasured, is precious to me, relationship.

I had to trust him with my life and my children, regardless of what I see them do. I will not allow, them to be used against me, to move me away from where I am and no result from the doctor can cause any fear, for I will be and am, the exception to the rule.

My choice may seem excessive to them, I have not changed, but how I will be treated, HAS. I choose to go to church and read the bible, I choose to link in, I am not a nut case, but I am where I am suppose to be. I love them very much and I do not see any change in me other than becoming better, all I have done is stand my ground.

Being nice is acceptable, being a strong woman is not, I thought we had grown more than this. My path was set long ago, and all I have done is accept, that I have a mandate, don’t know what it is, but willing to accept it.

I just felt like a soldier in an army, being handed my orders…. yeehaa

Be happy…

Many times you read on how to get happy, either by loosing weight or having work done, or a big holiday or having it all, really.

Can you look in the mirror and just be happy, you see over time we change, yes the wrinkles start the skin changes, you produce children and your body shows it, either externally or internally.

I am not suppose to look the way the world stipulates, but I am happy being me. I can look in the mirror and really see myself and smile.

It is something we all need in our lives, to see his reflection in us, and be happy. No amount of starving, no amount of exercise, no amount of surgery will do, that is the worlds illusion and yes if its for your health then maybe a change is applicable.

But being happy and knowing that if your not so perfect, he still loves you, he still cares and he will always be there for YOU, especially if you do your part.

I always just wanted to be well, I cannot turn the clock back and I don’t want too. I do not conform to anyone but my dad and that is where my happiness lies.

So, if you see me and see faults, maybe your mirror should change, just maybe.

But above all, be happy