When you get pushed, its time

I have been fighting with my tail bone.

Fighting to just do simple things, sometimes I’m better than others.

But I know its a battle, that the enemy is trying all he can to stop me.

And I told the doctor and the chemist, I will not be stopped.

You see I do not care who hears, but I care that they know who to turn too.

Its not about my status, or ego, its about my dad.

So I will fight, I will fight till my fathers wins inside of me.

I will take on this mountain, and win.

For I know that when push comes to shove, I will use the pain to fight my way out. I am not one to just lie their and take it.

Oh no, I will get my victory….


I have noticed the changes

Continuing on about becoming aware.

I have noticed not only buying more veg, but the need to have it all.

You see if I bought a pk of ice cream’s for example I would need to have one after the other. Until they were all done, or eat all chocolate etc etc.

I made a really yummy stir fry last night, choy sum, carrot, onion, beef, pasta (vegoroni) and I ate enough, still have 2 meals left from it.

And then I had one ice cream for dessert, that is such a monumental thing.

After when I felt I needed something else I had an apple and banana, this is such a huge transformation for me.

I feel others support and prayers which is amazing, if you have then thank you.

But yahoo…I’m on my way to full happiness

When you ask the father, he does answer

I have been asking, why and when..

What caused me to be fat, when did I start to shut down. When and what happened, because you cannot move forward, instead you stay stuck in a system that is not of your making.

I grew up in a time that men could do what they wanted and what ever it was, was OK. No one would listen and think that it was wrong and that is not OK anymore.

So having to face certain memories allowed to look at them, outside of being the person it happened too.

And boy, has that made a difference. You see, I use to be a size 11, I use to exercise, walking and running up and down stadiums, ride my bike etc.

But then, people came along, each taking a piece of me, shutting me down and I started to use food to try and fill this void, you see food was either something to feel pain with. Because you eat until you feel pain or vomit, yes it is the truth, to feel something other than this gnawing feeling inside that you cannot seem to fill or explain.

It comes from words, words & things like, actions that may have been done towards you, are your fault – LIAR. Jealousy of others for just being me – LIAR. Having a hourglass figure and being pretty, to want me when your old and married – LIAR. Putting on makeup and nice cloths, words used to attack – LIAR. Pregnant and being told I am fat etc – LIAR. LIAR LIAR

There are many, many words but I realised after my father showed me, they were issues of others and not mine, but because of there guilt they tried to heap it onto me and convince me it was my fault.

Well the father showed me, it was their garbage and I needed to take out the garbage and send it on it’s way. When you realise, that the guilt you were fed, feeds a hole, that hole is all mental, not physical & nothing to do with your food choices. Your body will hold onto what it can, because like me if you loose a little you freak out inside and need to have that weight on, for protection.

So if this helps anyone else be aware, then I have done my job.

But lets say, the garbage has been taken out and I am now very aware of others problems that were nothing to do with ME.

And I stand in my spirit as my fathers and with so much thanks, that he has allowed me to find the answer.

So just know it is OK, OK to face the hurts and really see how and why.

And to restart, even at my age it is never too late. I am the generation who was coming out of the darkness and I will stand in the light, with everything I have.


Realised why…

I realised something that has been bugging me, why had this happened to my life, what caused me to end this way. A little reflection time, well here goes trying to explain what I mean.

When I was young, I spent as much time on my own as possible, to stay safe and keep out of harms way.

But realised, I was blamed a lot that was not mine to own, and it has had an affect, but stops now.

For someone else’s actions sick mind, even though the person was 5 years older than me – LIAR. For the eldest loving my fun personality and that I was little and cute, so your jealousy caused division – LIAR. That I was like them – LIAR. I was there to be messed with – LIAR. Safety of mine so I had to get out – LIAR. My fault anything to do with my kids – LIAR.

What I am getting too, not filling in it to a degree, is that I have been blamed for many things. And the males through my life have got off Scott free.

Well I am not the one who had a bad mind, I am not the one who’s attitude is wrong. I am not the one, who did nothing to build up the children. I am the one who did as much as I could the right way even though I admit to my mistakes.

I have to say when someone is 5-13 years older than you and blame you, when you have no idea, is just fobbing off there own errors, and well I am taking a stand.

Why, my father showed me, that is why I am now fat. When I was happy I was fit and a size 11, words crumble your self confidence. When I was pregnant I was called fat etc, when I was creating a life and  should have been celebrated.

Every time I had tried to rise, the enemy shot me down. And the last was my son, who blamed me saying, “you always want to be the centre of attention” those words are bitter, twisted and again a lie. If he only knew what I had to deal with, he might get his fat heart healed.

Well now, I got your number, enemy. I am now standing up, you are done. I am writing this because of, not only the magnitude affect, but the subtly the effect can come onto your life.

I am angry, but in a good way, because it fires me up. I must be in line for something great when the enemy has tried so hard to stop me.

Lets end on a good note, because when your aware, things can change.
And mark this one, I am VERY AWARE.



Threatened hmmm

Many times in my life, I have been threatened, by someone. But on these occasions, even though it was shocking, I saw the work of the enemy.

And what do I do, time and time again, because I am his, his word, instantly goes into practice.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but principalities and powers of darkness of this age.

So, I growl and say to myself “RIGHT”, you see you have to know how to fight.

I will not go out without making noise, I will not do anything illegal or physical unless I have to protect myself, but I will fight.

When the battle is on, do you run, or watch and work out how to FIGHT.

Think about it…pray about it

Virus cure…

Joy of the Lord, total belief of his word.

Know where you stand and stand on his word as his breath.

Every time I see the news, I laugh, not at anything other than knowing my dad is in CHARGE.

Praise, joy, laughter, and commonsense is my cure. Knowing my dad, no false God’s, only him.

The ONE TRUE GOD of all, because when the shit hits the fan, only God will save you.

Its time for your foundation to be shaken, and remove the false gods in your life, whether it be money, material possessions.

I call my harvest in, my harvest of faith, my harvest of what was stolen, the restitution of it all.


Its time for WAR

I have been talking to the lord and being shown, this is the enemy coming in.

Trying to change our way of life leading up to being more like a communist world and being forced to have a chip put in us.

This is a sign of the best, read revelations, and get busy.


If you want to win, then you have to fight, fight for your right and its not about your family etc, its about YOU.

He wants each of us, to put down what the enemy is trying to tell us. And fight, pray and do the will of the father.

Here is time for your faith to shine, to be a TRUE SON of GOD. And do what you need to do, not what others are.

Its time to fight for freedom…I am going to war tonight join me.

Act immediately & Just stand

When you go through the fire there is one thing to do, that is STAND.

Now many may just act and move, but I know if your told by God what to do, then do it.

The other day, after feeling icky when I went into the front room, these old dolls held a demonic atmosphere.

So, when prompted, I got them out of the house, in the car and down to the salvos.

You see, when God says something either direct or through someone, I immediately do it.

This not only shows, what is most important to him, but shows obedience and faith.

So, do what he requires and trust me when I say, nothing is immovable in your life.

But you MUST OBEY WHAT HE SAYS, even if it’s uncomfortable for a time.

Remember he know your life plan, he will not fail you, grow some balls and grab hold of him. Show your tenacity, for joy will come.

As I drove off from the salvos I laughed, because I love my dad more than anything I have in my possession.

The man with a foul tongue

Last week a man called a woman a B, then added something else.

I don’t care what she has done or not done.

Who are you to say those words, I commented.

Excuse me, that is not right to use that language, then he thought I would shut up if he went on.

No, I said regardless, what you said is not right especially in this day and age. And I won’t have it, you could have said, sorry none of your business and end of conversation.

I don’t care if you male or female, especially where we were, it was just wrong.

So have been saying, don’t take cares from others, say no, but I will bless your day.

If you don’t like that, then don’t talk to me.. simple..

How can you be alone?

Sometimes I feel the world judging me, but I really do not care.

Because, there is only one to answer too.

The world sees me alone and unloved. What a lie, he loves me just as I am, I am so surrounded by angels etc, that I am never alone.

Its about your perceptive, don’t limit him and don’t let the lies of the enemy tell you your not.

We have a right, to be seen, to be heard, but only when HE chooses. Not living by what the world dictates.

The rain has gone for now, the sun is shining and I feel his presence. I am the daughter of the living God, I am who I am intended to be and I will silence the enemy.

I use to be a yes person, you get groomed to just say yes, even when you scream NO. So now, you say anything that he does not agree with and you dish my father, then its on.

Its on, in the right way, not the worlds way. Time and time again he deals with those who are trying to hurt me and I fear for them.

He is my father and a jealous God, he will deal with anyone who tries to take me down. He has given warnings, I have had to say to those I worked with, if you have a beef with me, come and lets talk, but DO NOT go behind my back. Because he will deal with you and I don’t want to see you get hurt.

Yes I have scared people, but the truth is just that. They know after a while, he will make a way.