I have noticed the changes

Continuing on about becoming aware.

I have noticed not only buying more veg, but the need to have it all.

You see if I bought a pk of ice cream’s for example I would need to have one after the other. Until they were all done, or eat all chocolate etc etc.

I made a really yummy stir fry last night, choy sum, carrot, onion, beef, pasta (vegoroni) and I ate enough, still have 2 meals left from it.

And then I had one ice cream for dessert, that is such a monumental thing.

After when I felt I needed something else I had an apple and banana, this is such a huge transformation for me.

I feel others support and prayers which is amazing, if you have then thank you.

But yahoo…I’m on my way to full happiness



Trust me when I say this, life is not about waiting for the storms that come our way to pass, get up and dance for joy, because you need to dance in the rain.

The lesson, your about to learn and the next level you enter, is so joyous, its worth every step.

When I see something, I sometimes don’t understand why people follow as the world dictates. Flip it, see the truth, for it WILL set you free.

Have you not got the King of kings, teaching you.

I look at all the enemy used to crush me, try and kill me are all benefits.

He read my book and he knows what my destiny is, he does not understand how stubborn and strong I am, because of my love for father God, Jesus and the holy spirit.

He will never understand, that when life gives me lemons, I will make lemonade, lemon curd, lemon iced tea, etc etc and cake…

His hurdles are my excitement to jump and learn and to get more and more closer to the Lord.

I AM going to finish the way its written, I AM woman who father God gave life too and I AM going to win every victory there is.

Get empowered by these words, know that when it gets hard, you about to get the win a prize that no one can measure….

Everyday I notice the difference

Yesterday I took a break, went to Bunnings and noticed, before the thought of going out was a big mental battle.

Who will see me, what will they think, watch the face movement, pick up on what they are saying by not saying anything. Try and make it seem OK, that you are dressed a little better than a bag lady etc etc etc.

The enemy kept telling me things like, do you really think you should go, are you really worth it, can you spare the money, your this your that, all the time.

Yesterday I went out and thought NOTHING, but wanted it to be a little warmer, I have nice cloths but just not ready to wear.

But watch out, this little duck is coming back into life, I am so excited I cannot even explain what its like to not be condemned for everything I or others have done.

And bags of cloths are in the car, ready to drop off and give to others, yipee. Before I would have just kept everything, not anymore.

The new ME

Since condemnation has been removed, its like I have awakened, not knowing that I was even asleep.

Before, you have no idea, my head kept me hiding from day to day activities. A simple trip to the shop, would take a lot of mental effort to plan where I would go and what I would do.

Normally, I would pick something plain, because I would say to myself, pretty stuff is for others, not me.

The other day I saw a doona cover, it was pink and had big flowers on it, now to many this would not seem anything big. But its like, I am learning about the new me, the hidden me that I never knew before.

I feel like a rose, that was in a hard, closed down bud, but now I have bloomed and its the most beautiful feeling.

This could not have happened if it was not for my trust in the father, I said to him many times, I know it will hurt at the time, but it needs to be done. So when you feel its right, please, I give you authority to do, what needs to be done.

And how wonderful is he, to know I had come to the end of what I could tolerate inside and give him full rein.


He makes you aware, when your paying attention

My daughter had some news, I am not moved, just ready to fight.

So today I shared, what she had to say at prayer meeting. Anyone want to add, I stand for her, when she cannot.

So the words of how to get it, I moved into getting it done and moved it out. How inspiring, timing, action and belief.

He is going to show her, how he works and she will be as strong as her mother, because we are of the DNA of God the father, and Jesus the son.

YAHOO, happy dance time…

Getting even more excited

Since last week, people have noticed, my eyes are open, they see a brightness.

And I feel taller and lighter, the hunger for food that is not the best is gone. Before I would eat a box of ice creams and look for more in one go. I bought a box to see, took 5 days to get rid of it and I really had to push, not buying anymore.

I spoke to my daughter, I told her about my experience and I hoped it would inspire her.

Before I was in a washing machine, that kept washing the dark pile and I could not get onto spin and dry myself off.

I would wear track pants down the street because I didn’t care or used the excuse of my hernia that does not like tight pants, or about my appearance, hair, eye brows etc etc.

Since Monday, I feel so undressed, I want to hide, even at home. I now want to put on the nice things that are in my wardrobe, omg I am so looking forward to the warmer weather. I need money fast too get my hair done, etc etc.

I am excited more and more, oh Lord I am so very humbled and grateful for everything you do.

And you know I am all for whatever you need to do and need of me….

Get excited, and take another step

I love the Lord with all I am, why, he broke the hold over me.

We are told we have to surrender our lives to him, which I did, but there is another level.

I had a wall, I would get to a point and this dark over shadowing wall was impenetrable, until Monday.

This came to the surface, I knew I had something that seemed so impossible, but didn’t know how to get rid of it.

I had to willingly, TRUST.

The Lord looked at me with those beautiful eyes and such concern, I looked at him and said, “Just do it” with him beside me, I know I can do anything.

I made noises that I cannot repeat, I felt this thing loosen, tentacle by tentacle. It was dark, hungry and mean.

I was shaken from from toes through my calves, and it was taken out. I trusted those around me, God’s gorgeous red head and I knew I needed to show evidence of his power of LOVE.

Before, I was so scared of meeting my husband and screwing him up and our marriage etc.

Now, I wear a ring, when I put it on, I felt I was honouring my husband to come and showing that, I feel like I love him already. (Remember I had been married before had children to someone else and never loved anyone, I had a barrier of protection).

I am now free, trust the right time will come for you. Trust in the process, trust that you are worth it all.

God bless.

My miracle with dogged determination

Now I have to be blunt so you understand, in 2013 I was given a procedure that showed I had Diverticulitis.

What were my symptoms, remember the mass it caused me to have problems getting rid of waste, black, rust, light tan, yellow and even a shade of green were seen. I had tests after tests that always showed I had infection, I had fever pain, gas coming from places I could not explain. And a smell that was worse than a septic swamp.

So I listened at the time, diet changed, fibre I had to watch reduce etc etc. The threat of either having an operation etc was said, so what did I do.

I listened, but would not accept, I had to say the words in the world, but I did not take it in.

I said to the Lord, I am not accepting this, I am your daughter and of your DNA. If I am meant to fulfil your plan for my life, then you have to fix this vessel, I demand it in Jesus name.

I will not accept this in anyway (I was determined with no doubt, he word says if you believe then you receive), by the blood of Jesus Christ who took this on him for me, it is removed in Jesus name. I demand it to go, I said this over and over and I would not accept anything else, even when things got really tough.

So I praise the Lord and father God, for hearing my words and making this MIRACLE happen for me. I feel so very humbled and thankful for taking this from me. Tests on Tuesday showed no sign of it and never being there. Yahoo

You can have it too, get so very determined that you cannot fail by his blood that covers me.

Wow have I had to find another level

Over the past time I have had to find another level and I also had to curl up and shut down a little.

My child is back to adjusting my depth of sadness for her girls.

Being a mum and most of it I was single because the dad didn’t care. I was brought up and I admit, most of my normal, was not that normal at all.

So I did the best at the time I knew what to do, but being on my own. When she goes off course, it hits hard and I am sharing this because I am human. If I can help anyone, I will share my heart.

I wanted desperately to have a relationship like you see others having, but something she wrote “you need me, like I need you”.

Growing up, I had no one to stand up for me, to support my emotional state, to know they loved me and it would never COST me anything.

But I did not, until the Lord spoke to me, so when I read this, it brought me back. I depend on him, I need him, she has to find that out for herself.  And in the meantime, everything I do, is building the place for the next generations after me.

Last night, for I think the first time, I really stepped forward within my heart, wanting my hubby to come and be that support. As I said last night, I have been ripped off in so many ways by the enemy and I want it restored NOW.

Its time, time to start a life, I was destined to live and it starts now.

Things needed to be faced

I have always had this thing over my life, making me feel I could never step up and do anything special or take a chance. And always a cloud of never open Pandora’s box.

You see, I knew there were things that were secret or not spoken of.

But on Wednesday I felt very sad, didn’t know why.. But went to church, our wonderful Pastor took us into the courts, to face what has been a burden on our lives.

I personally have been tired of carrying something, that was from my forefathers.

So, I stood in the courts, my father was very concerned about me, I said to him, “Lord I have to be brave enough to face this, it is OK”.

Wham, the accuser came in full throttle and with so much force, but what got me was the snippets of pictures. I stood agreed with him, repented for myself and who had come before me.

What hit me was, it was this that was causing so much wrong in my own children. I started to gasp and sob, it really struck me, I try to make out I am so tough, but this hit me full on. I know others tried to comfort me, but I needed to remove myself. (I was brought up tears were a sign of weakness, so I was a bit embarrassed and really all I needed was to be held.)

I was prayed for, washed myself off and came back thinking, right that’s done, what’s next? I know I am the one to break the mould, the familiar over my family, so I will face it all, for my children and their children.

With great impact it has been broken, and I know the box is gone. Now I feel like I can do anything, but the question now is what exactly.

Lord please show me what to do, what direction to go in, I need to set the right course in business and life… Amen