Oh my golly gosh, I got up feeling something good would happen, I felt the day was different to any other.
It was a day, the girls would be coming over to have, not a prayer meeting, but to gather for a conversation with the father.
You see, I have been asking and asking and asking.
What, you might ask, I wanted to change, I wanted the little girl in me (who was scared and hidden), to finally be loved, safe and free, I wanted my father, to change my perspective, that had become so screwed up.
And he did, what I noticed first was last week, I never saw myself as having any value. You see, dressing nice, a part of me wanted too, but I felt unworthy. I know, after everything, I have experience, yes there is always room for improvement.
Well, I realized, I didn’t want to hide, I wanted to look, how I wished, I could feel and not just, put something on. So, I thought, and realized last week, that the spirit of poverty was being removed, lets just say, for a few days, I was a little lost, because this is new.
But here I sit, then as I have stated before, I realized I had PTSD, now as I also stated you can only fix something, once you realize what it is that is broken, but not me, my dad.
I asked “father, please fix me, I don’t want to act anymore, please, I give you the right” and I knew he would, but I knew for impact, the right sequence or season, had to fall into place.
Well, as we sat and ate, then chatted, I brought up PTSD, gods gorgeous red head said, “he told me to speak to that little girl”. Well as you can guess, I held nothing back, I did not let my mind question, or stop anything that was happening, I just let it be.
I cried and cried, from deep within, the little girl, the child who had no where to run, or find safety came out and when you TRUST the father, he is gracious and wonderful, and I no longer feel like I am acting.
I went to sleep and slept, you see my old self, would never get any peace of mind or spirit and I was restless, waking up in panic or having a nightmare. But I slept, feeling safe and free, with nothing concerning my spirit, in anyway.
You have no idea, the lottery jackpot that I was given yesterday. I am surrounded by love and I deserve it, to love and be loved, I deserve every type of wealth he has, and father, I ask for it all, not because of any other reason, than, I have asked and you will give me the desires of my heart, that is from you.
I shout this from my place, here in front of this computer, HE LOVES ALL OF US, and will answer, our conversation with him, in relationship….