Monthly Archives: July 2020

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How an incident…

As I may have told you before, my car got marked as it was parked.

My problem was, you left and drove off. Which in Australia is unlawful, I was upset, then I found that it wasn’t the incident that was my problem, but my mouth.

I have a need for honesty, as I said, I am not unreasonable, we could have had a chat, if finances was the problem. But you left, you turned away at a time, that you could have used to build character and show humility.

So yesterday I was informed the outcome and I said to the officer, my driving force is for following the law, because in God if you cannot follow the law of the land, how can you follow God’s.

Well feeling peace, as I was turning I saw the man that walks around with his shopping trolley full of his worldly goods. I was moved to talk to him, see if he was OK.

I stopped and wanted to make sure he had a mask, as in Victoria it is now compulsory. But as I drove off, thinking about my stomach, God pressed on me to ask him about his. So I drove back, “Sir would you like me to buy you some KFC”, I could see he was considering he wondered the time as we chatted and I asked if he wanted something else. I have always felt you should never assume you know better.

He started talking about a rice place and their fried rice, I asked if he would like that instead, he told me the cost and that he loved prawns. I said to him, its OK, his belly was more important than mine, I rang the number and put in the order, I said to him I would be back, I grabbed spoons, forks, chopsticks and napkins, and went back.

He was like a little kid, so happy, but then I thought to pray. I did say to him, “be blessed” but in that it seemed so trivial to say.

I kept praying as he stayed in my thoughts, I think he would have rathered me to stay and just spend time, have real fellowship. Trust me when the father makes another time, I am back there again.

I felt glad that in my town, they make it available, to have a shower and a warm bed at night. This I was told happens in the churches, they take turns.

But what about them, again presuming your being a goodie two shoes, and not really touching the surface. I was glad of what I felt instructed to do, but what I could do more of.

You see I come from having just enough, sometimes hunger would be a friend and that is where you grow. I am in no way financially any better than how I grew up, but I got last night, do not think about how you will eat etc, does not God feed the birds of the air.

He is there to remind us, that what we have is nothing, but having the father is more wealth than money. I saw as I drove off another car stop, I hope we start to adopt him and concern ourselves with his day, not ours.

It reminds me of when houses are knocked down, for someone to build to make money. How I would love to be able to house people who need it, not those who really do not.

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When you get a gift, take it…

I was given a book to read, which someone picked up from the op shop.

Sometimes I think the greatest gifts are those, you think are not for you, but turn out to be a wondrous surprise.

You see when I was told I had a mass, I was gifted peace. I had a knowing who was for me and I feared nothing. This wave that moves across the room and envelopes you.

Then in the epilogue of this book I read, this is the miracle of grace and grit, coming to say with joyous conviction, “Nothing can harm me, Nothing at all, I am loved by God!” from the book by Sue Monk Kidd.

I realised reading it that her walk or awakening was a lot like mine. Everything makes your aware of the father, every little thing is significant, in a way I cannot explain.

But if you get given something, push yourself, his gifts are in everything, whether it cost only 50 cents.

Grit is to hang on, to not back down, but hold your ground.

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Spending your life ready for war

It has struck me that, all my life I have been ready. Ready to knock back, when someone is going to hurt me, or too nice, which would lead to hurt.

I have an ability to read people, especially thinking of a child of mine. I see patterns in people, a familiar pattern that ticks over and over and over.

So, all my life I knew I was ready for war, ready for the battle I have had to face.

So when my dad says, “I will protect you, you don’t need to do it anymore”. It is hard to switch off, it is hard, but I have seen him go into battle on my behalf.

I have seen him, step up and say, do not touch her and then put the action into it.

As I was posting my last message and thinking of a certain point in my life, he showed it to me again.

So instead of shutting down and sitting on time, I will respond and know he will act on my behalf.

I trust him, with all I have and could even imagine to have. That is the key, trust, then remember his words to you.

Right lest go….

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How we adjust…

I was sitting up in bed this morning talking with the father, meditating and one word struck me, perceive.

I know I adjust myself to share with different ones, just enough because I seem to be on a wave length, that I cannot explain.

Or a spirit wave length if you will, I remember years ago I heard someone say, tune in like your tuning in a old fashioned radio. And that stuck with me, because I know he’s just there, beside me and not engaging with him would be such a waste of my life.

I felt this morning going into a deeper place, I struggle living in this world. Because I have tapped into his and I want to stay there.

Living a day to day life is nothing to me anymore, living and being with him is awesome. I cannot explain it, or try to write it down in words. He is beyond anything I have known before.

This morning he took me back, back to that first time I heard him. the time when he said to me, “Bronwyn I will always look after you”.

Ever since that day I held him in a secret place, but now I feel like I am living in it.

The book I am reading goes on about the Lords prayer, and sits on words and how meaningful. Like OUR FATHER, he is our father, he is all we are and will ever need. When people ask what is so great about him, with all I have I say, “but he’s my dad”, once I do that they cannot deny my belief.

I got that many many years ago, I got it when I was sitting in that paddock. I got that someone loved me and all my faults, I got a gift beyond any words.

“For I will leave a mark on you”, I demanded this, I demanded a mark that was between him and me. I did not care if anyone else knew, it didn’t seem relevant to them anyway.

But I said as I have shared before, I had one mole on my leg, I told him I wanted a triangle, one him, one Jesus and one the holy spirit. I still have them today, its my sign of that momentous occasion in my life.

It made me feel sad, that some go all there lives and never have anything like this, but I sit here and pray that he does. That he leaves his mark upon your life, that changes it for ever.

The world seems to pick on the ones who believe, but aren’t we suppose to be more blessed and more in him if we are persecuted like he was.

I sit here wiping away the tears, because his love is pouring out on me and I am overwhelmed.

I want to share his awesomeness with you and I cannot express it more than this, he is all you will ever want and all you will ever need. He is the most precious thing I have in this world. No diamonds or gems or money could ever be worth more to me.

He is (as I sob my little heart to him) all of me. My body cannot contain it, so it overflows.

 

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Lesson learned

I have been asking and seeking, now I have my answer.
As a parent you love your kids, but can love them without the keys to life, then they grow and you see a side you do not understand or sometimes like.
So WHY came about, I wanted the answer, even if it hurt.
I have found that my child works on PRESUMPTION, that they will get what they want, but assumption is you get what you have not earned.
It’s like saying to a parent move out, give me your house etc, well my view is,
1. I ain’t dead yet
2. with that attitude I may not leave you anything, the key is it’s my house.
3. to respect authority, even if I do not agree, self control
What I am doing now is, trying to build character, I remember fighting (not physically or disrespectfully) to get my mothers trust. Even though I knew, I could be trusted, I had to earn it.
I had to take my frustration and strive, I had to humble myself and be grateful for what I got and when.
Not as I demanded it, I found out these last couple of days, that I have character, and the words of my mother ring true.
You never stop learning and only God knows it all.
Don’t repeat my mistake.
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Prayer for Sarah

My daughter is fighting, she is about to be released from prison again, but she has an awareness of the spirit. When I dedicated her second child, she was hit in the doorway on her return, she knew the atmosphere changed.

And I know from experience all she has to do is give up and give in. We need to stand up for her to grasp what he has for her, she is the next generation and God can use her in the biggest way for her training of the world can help so many.

It has been a journey of lots of tears and me on my knees, but please pray for her.

I am breaking a cycle for her, to pick up and know just how wonderful her life can be, if she just goes before God.

This is her time, please pray she looks like a younger version of me, but has the familiar of her fathers line. But we must ask for this to be broken, so her DNA can be that of the her real father, Jesus.

I believe it for her future, please believe with me, for the doors to open for her to be shown to start anew.

Thank you

 

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Do you really believe…

It is a fair question, I know that before I was all in for God and all that encompasses, I knew there was more to this life I live.

I am experiencing things that others know about, but are yet to grasp them.

I listen with my heart and spirit.

I move in spirit.

I live by faith.

I know who I am in Christ.

The key is not to try and know what is happening or about too. It is about TRUST, about you not using your brain, but shutting down the obvious and locking into his reality.

I never thought these words would ever come from within me, but I am in an amazing place, where I am experiencing things that only few are.

Just let go and let flow….

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When God acts

I have had to put my trust in him, with nothing left to chance.

And I must not interfere.

I know its hard for a human mind to get it, but boy, do I get it on another level.

I must trust his process and plan, if I act out of emotion, then I fail.

And by the glory of God, I will not fail.

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Let his hot coal touch your lips

Its interesting how little it takes to make someone pop, loose control and lash out.

But if you allow wisdom to come and I use to think of it this way, count down from 10 to 1. By the time your at one, you feel calm, if you are tuned in, your realise, no response is required.

Because when you respond you show immaturity and he wants maturity.

So by letting his hot coal touch your lips, your granted a gift. A gift is just that, something precious just for you, a gift of understanding, a gift of amazing that does not need to be shared.

Why, because no one can understand that magnitude feeling that is private between you and him. And sometimes, its just between you and him, decorum is key here.

Once I heard that word, I got to know it, for you sometimes need wisdom and decorum is part of that, knowing when to just sit back as a father would and watch.

Decorum, break it down, decor of life (how you need to decorate you actions in life), rum or run, don’t let self run away from wisdom. I see things as I believe he sees and I grab hold as a child. Grabbing onto the reality of his world and the way it is to work, not how nuts everyone else is.

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I got confirmation

I think that many times I have tried to convey to anyone who is reading this blog. I do not like calling it that, because it is much much more.

I have been trying to tell anyone who will listen, the key to God is just this. You must face with an innocence, a willingness to face the hurts and not deny or run from them. Or even try to do something rather than face them, and by the glory of God you have too.

When we enter the brokenness and confront them with full honesty, then we will find his wholeness.

He has been calling me louder and louder and I have let certain things come in to muddy the water, like a dirty washing machine, but I feel like I have just put in fresh water.

I chose him, clear and loud. I said to someone, I am done, what I meant by that was, I am calling it, I am saying, go before the father on your knees. I am choosing him all the way, but you have to choose him, I could not say all that.

But what I have to do is now watch, watch and see the choices made. Then I will know and no if’s, I trust him, I trust him till eternity.

I trust him all the way, grab hold and do not give in….