How are you doing today? Good I hope, remember someone is always thinking of you, I know that I am.

I just finished a book called Inside my Heart, by Robin McGraw, now I am not usually one to read this sort of thing. But I am open to any prompting, I was in one of those pop up book stores, saw the book, then kept on walking. All night, I had it on my mind, so back I went $5 is all it was, didn’t know why at the time, but he works in mysterious ways.

What shocked me, reading the first third of the book was like seeing myself. Now over my life I have not made the right choices by any means, but with each mistake, I have definitely learnt the lesson.

Remember, how I go on about the word CHOICE and that, it is very powerful, so does she, but having something to hold onto, when she was young, she was able to feel more confident, about that word. Moving forward on her path, she was destined to have. Growing up, I was made to feel less than any woman should feel. But knowing what I know now, when God decides to bring that right man for me, I will not be letting go of who I am today, but build on what I have accomplished and learned.

I heard a young girl say once that struck me and made huge impact, if you’re not happy single, then how can you be married. What a clever girl, it’s so true. I don’t mean be selfish, but know who you are and stick to it.

When I have been in a relationship in the past (of the world), I became this, THING. To please and do the right thing for them, by letting myself go, I don’t mean physically but spiritually, wholly. I couldn’t see anything of myself, I was not happy anymore, I didn’t laugh. And anyone knowing me, that is highly unusual, for six years I didn’t even get joy out of music. 

Thinking of it now, I became my mother. I became what I was conditioned to do and I know now that is not right. When I am in full flight, I even like myself, so why should I not, be me. I am a funny person, who is honest, loving and with the biggest heart, I will give anything to make someone happy if I can. I will sit there with you through anything, with all the love I have to give.

This book has sealed something in me. Something that just needed a, yep that’s the right thinking pattern. This has been the right thing, at the right time.

Funny how something so out of left field, can be him saying here you go, just read and you will get your answer.

My point in this, is to listen. He answers you, sometimes not directly, but indirectly. How precious is my father, all he had to do, was lead me.

     At the moment I am reading Sacred Marriage by Gary L Thomas.

I was online looking at books etc and this stuck out at me so from God’s prompting I bought it.

When it arrived I was very excited, been married before in the world before my walk with him began. I thought I knew a lot, well I don’t.

Reality check, time. I started reading and I can’t tell you the amount of times I have put it down because BAM it stops me in my tracks. Me a person who can read a book in a day or so, it’s been three weeks and I am only very close to 3/4 the way through.

What I mean is you think your ok, that you know what to do and how to treat people.

We never ever stop growing and learning, we are a work in progress.

What I love is, I was prompted to get this book to face myself and see where I went wrong before.

I remember once looking at my backyard (years ago) and their were pots, frying pans that I would pitch in absolute frustration. Yes I was immature and extremely bad-tempered, thank God he is changing me. (I married to get out of home, my words at the time. “If I have to marry the devil I will to get out of here”).

You know you have to watch what you say, words have power, yikes. (Long story) But it all went very very wrong rather quickly and I am not innocent here either.

Anyway thankfully I am on the right road, I know he is preparing me for what he has. Whether that be a husband to come or not,  I was a captive audience one day and I heard the words “how can you be someone’s bride if you cannot be a bride of Christ”. That was then my goal to be his, then if he blessed me all well and good but it is not my main focus.

But if your thinking of marriage or if your lucky enough to be, do yourself a favour and have a read.

But be prepared, it might hit where it hurts, but if you grow from this, what a bonus.

Book was purchased online from Koorong bookshop Melbourne