And I make it to New Years 2027

As it hits close to midnight, the knowledge that living on a hill you get to see a vast view of the Melbourne and surrounding suburbs.

It was great to walk out my front door and see the beautiful lights, everyone was out looking, and I yelled out happy new year, then met a new neighbour.

We chatted for a while, after finding out how long I had been here and what I knew about the street. She said to me, “aren’t you scared living by yourself” I told her I grew up in the country, “you hit first and ask questions later and I will be taking DNA”.

She was surprised and I shared how I had been scared for 26 years of my life and I am done. You take me on, be warned, I do not stand alone. As I told her I believe in God and she told me she does too, I shared a few stories how he settles and I don’t have to fight but just encase I have things set up for protection.

I love it how the father, gives you an opportunity to speak, just when you don’t expect it.

But as I keep living on this earth one thing I know, every day is a new day to share his name….

When I was growing up, my mum was blunt if she had something to say, sometimes, it felt like a wack.

This I just felt as I was about to leave for the day, “it’s time to be bold”.

I will no longer hide; I will no longer be held back by the feeling of not being good enough (and who is good enough to judge that anyway).

It has taken a lifetime to know this truth, it’s okay to be me. Being kind is not a weakness, being smart is not something to be ashamed of. Putting on makeup and wearing nice cloths does not and I repeat does not define that I am trying to be something I am not.

I am these things, I am my father’s daughter, I am nice, funny, kind and empathetic.

If you do not like me or judge me for my decision made for the right reasons, then that is on you (this is if anyone related to me and reads this). For so long, you tried to squash me, belittle me, blame me and manipulate me. I have news for you, do not stand in my way, for you may not like what comes. This is a warning, why, it’s about time, you know your place, you might be older, but you are far from wiser. You may think everyone around you is less than you, but one thing I know, people are not as stupid as YOU may think. They see the real you and don’t like it, I cannot fake my heart and the way I care. They see that you do, they see all your faults and as someone said to me, “I like you but not your sister.” I know you read this, because your nose cannot mind its own business. What I do, is none of yours, what I choose is none of yours, my children are not yours to rule over and manipulate like puppets in your game. Whether I have money or not, is none of your business, the fact I have chosen to surrender my life to God, DOES NOT mean I am in a cult. You have been wrong so many times, you have had so many failed relationships and done incomprehensible damage, but because of what you are, you have no understanding of this. All the work I have done whether in business or otherwise is from my brilliant brain, my honour, respect and the words given to me by those in heads of industry show, I am more than you will ever acknowledge. I leave you with this dear sibling, I am steadfast and ready so leave my children alone, stay away from them and me, for if you do not, then I leave the father to deal with you and your life. For all you have done is written and you cannot manipulate the day of judgement, but I send you this, love and a prayer that you come out of the mental darkness on which you sit and into the light.

For those who do not know, what I have lived through, some in my life had to be let go and the father allowed this to happen. It may seem extremely harsh, but it is the only language she will understand.

But I send out love, for instead of anger, I feel sympathy and a sadness for what has been stolen from each one of us.

The heading does say, it is time, TIME TO BE BOLD.

You may have noticed that I have changed the way my page looks.

Why, because, I needed to come into the light, I need to see how far I have come.

I want my page to show, my love for the colour green, the thoughts written down and how my love letter to anyone who needs to find this, will do and see if you hold on, he will bring you through.

This site is a dedication to my decision to surrender to my father and that what the enemy uses for bad, God can turn it into good.

Your willingness to be open and transparent, can change the world, one finger press at a time.

I hope you enjoy the changes and see my growth and be blessed by knowing this woman has had a journey, with each step he brings you into the light.

Just TRUST him…

I love the number 25, because for one it’s my birthday number and two, add 5 & 2 you get 7, his favourite number.

Having been through a year of tough medical issues, I am glad to say goodbye to 2025.

2026 is hours away, and I feel a great amount of things coming.

You see something else the father has brought me through, colour, you see before I would see something pretty but tell myself, it’s not for me as I thought I didn’t deserve it.

We’ll I have noticed, I shy away from the drab and dingy.

And just yesterday I did something, that sets me up for success. Yes, success big time, no longer the bottom of the barrel for this little duck.

Instead of finding fault, instead of thinking oh it’s not for me as I don’t deserve it. All lies of course.

But here I sit, expecting the big things to land, all received from my dad and all just for me.

I now know, I deserve it all and I expect it all, thank you father for breaking my chains and bringing me to a place where I receive it all.

Yahoo…

As I grew up, I learned that changes meant and absolute upheaval of the worst kind.

I had to learn my place, and that I had to think small, for example buying little things. Big decisions were out of my league; I was taught to follow commands and rules.

Now this to many may not seem such a big deal, but when your almost frozen to buy a new washing machine etc, a car or a home were out of the question, it was beyond my capabilities, or so I thought.

How wonderful is the father, I had prayed, “father, please help me, so many seem to do this as a normal everyday way, I am blocked from doing so, please release me and allow myself to move forward without fear and be free and deserving of all you have for me.

And today, I realised the big decisions are minuet, this is the biggest break through this year, and I am so thankful, I feel a freedom, I have never in my life felt before.

Tomorrow in the first day of the new year and I here to celebrate everything to come.

At this time of year, I think about the year that was, how everything worked together for my good.

You see, it’s not about the trials and tribulations of life, it is about what you have learned. What are you going to take into 2026.

I know in the coming year, I have a new car on the horizon. I was getting dressed yesterday and the Lord said this, “be open to change”.

When I was growing up, big decisions were squashed, judgement on nearly everything and finding fault were top of the list. This I have been working on stopping, because it rules your life and you’re not happy, but can be a miserable human being.

As we progress to the end and the neighbours are trying out their fireworks on and off, one thing I am glad about is that I don’t have to stress about getting my pet inside, so they don’t freak out.

What has come into your life this year, that you have learned, I am sure there is heaps that you could take forward.

Mine is this, I saw my sibling the other day and I had nothing, but I did have to change my view when I saw what she was wearing and I started to judge, because it is not my place, so a correction on myself was needed. And in some ways, I felt sad, for her little life.

But moving forward, I have been looking at Mercedes, there are some around quite cheap. But I don’t think I will, I am waiting on the father, he knows and he will put it in front of me, right now. I know how everything shuts up for the holiday and nothing can be done until January, especially when all the kids start school.

I am as ready as I can be, getting deliveries done, which has been a life saver, I dislike crowds and I feel blessed by all the help I have gotten; I have had to stay put with a blood clot and cyst in my knee.

New horizons are opening up and I am well pleased moving forward into what is coming in 2026.

May the Lord hear your prayers, may he grant you the answers and know you are blessed whatever happens, keep safe and merry christmas and a safe and happy new year from me.

Finding more and more that every day is a new day to learn a lesson.

It may not be big, but really small, but all lessons are for learning and taking note of.

I am the sort of person who will find phone numbers, I will pray and use every avenue to get an answer. This is something in my full-time position, that helped get my boss into a meeting at parliament house, something now one else could do.

I have emailed the head of telco companies and heads of industry that have a gate keeper of an admin that no one has been given information before.

I know from experience, that no door is fully closed, you just need to be creative. I have typed up highly sensitive information before and never taken in or read the notes as a whole. It is something I can do, so people know I am trustworthy.

Yesterday, I was thinking about the office in the city, the board room needed art, and I knew the colours and what was needed but also, not in the budget for a non-profit organisation.

So, I got the reds, brown etc and managed to make a painting that I called “Hidden”. I remember when I took it in to hang it, my boss asked about the picture. I told him it was needed and its mine, he was shocked, then in awe because he asked about my art. I was thinking about how I would set up the meeting room, and how I knew those who had food allergies and kept note.

I would turn up at 7.30am for an early meeting all dressed in my suit, they were mainly board members but to me it was professional for me to be there. I used to work on the train home, work from home, change flights, I did almost everything.

I had to list my duties on a form the other day, National Office Manager, Database Manager, Village Membership Manager, PA to the CEO, Receptionist, travel coordinator, Meeting room management and amenities, State coordinator, plus I would make a cake for everyone’s birthday.

This is not me thinking I am Miss wonderful, it was me remembering, just how efficient I could be, the main thing was when the father said to go work there. I had a job in town which I was floor manager, but I wasn’t confrontational as required.

But, working in the city, I learned, I watched, and I learned how to find things out, because I had a lot of contacts, but the main thing was the lesson of how to fight. How to stand up for myself and do it the right way.

My lesson has been, you don’t have to get all aggravated, just that something inside of me says, NOPE. And I fight the legal way, the right way and when I don’t have too. The lesson is he will fight for me, my father who is a jealous God, and I of him…

I was getting all anxious about a delivery, it is something I have wanted for a long time.

So, I found a bargain, and he even moved an appointment today for me.

New site, and instead of being delivered, it’s somewhere out in the world, running around.

It will come to me, I just know it…

For he is out working on my behalf, and something is never lost, it will be found.

Walking this walk has never been easy, it’s learning every day, and you can never ready yourself, for what might come.

I am reminded of this with times especially lately, you see I suffer with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and social anxiety. This came via trauma and not being allowed to deal with it.

In the last few weeks my depression wave hit, to anyone who has not experienced it, this is how it feels. I stopped walking through my little home and wham, it felt like I couldn’t move my legs, and felt like the blood drained from my body in the form of energy. I could not force myself to think, move or anything, all I could do was lay down, and go with it, I had no energy to fight, I just went to sleep for 5 hrs.

Then, for days after, you wake up, you need to rest after every exertion, toilet effort, showering exhausting, thinking about making food almost impossible.

I feel like this has come because of my life, I have run to do things, get things done and NOT TO REMEMBER.

Remembering, made me curl up in a ball and cry and feel deeply sad.

But, dealing with each step through my phycologist has opened a box full of things, that I didn’t understand before, you know, when your so close you cannot see the tree for the leaves.

But I know, boy do I know, this has been happening for a reason, I have always stood on this, what the devil uses for bad against me, God will flip it for his good. Because you cannot talk to a person, if you have not experienced it, for then you really do understand.

Being a light in this darkness, is what I am here for, I am here to show it does not define you. It strengthens you, beyond any way you imagine gaining strength from.

As I have said before, it feels like to me, like I clasp my fists and get ready to run into battle, it’s like getting a shield and sword in my hand and go right, it’s on.

One thing I know is, there are more than one way to fight, but you must not go in haste, you must hand it to the father, then be ready when he instructs it’s time.