I came close to giving up on wishing…

Yes I was really knocked down and didn’t want to complete the task. But knowing that I had another lesson to learn, I had to just breath for a moment.

Its a terrible place to be, to think you have nothing to hold onto, I understand but I know that I am here to be trained to establish him within me. For those who need him to speak through me, so as I lick my wounds and try to stand up again, for him.

I have been quiet, but I need to be sure before I post anything, that he may need to instruct me first.

I was believing that because I am getting older, who would want me, do I have so many scratches am I too wounded for someone to come into my life. You know the thought process, etc etc, the enemy tried again to convince me that I was not worthy of being loved.

OMG, you disgusting liar, for I am my fathers daughter all I need to do is let him come into my soul, heal it and in the process me.

I will keep you posted…

I am going to be healed

I am going to receive this, I am going to get all my things on my vision board.

For the in the word it says, write the vision and make it plain.

Being on such a journey, the enemy has tried with my children and my health but it makes me more determined to reach the finish line with arms raised and shouting with joy.

As the seasons change

I am more aware as I grow older about the respect given to those who have been around or seen more than us. So glad that I got to know my mum as a person, not just a mother, is so precious to me.

My son has been on my mind, I use to live in the country and not realising it, I was so self righteous and opinionated, stubborn, just to name a few descriptions.

Over the last ten years especially with my son, I have become more aware of this, his view on the world seems to have become so sectioned off. I do not know what it is with kids these days but they seem to think they can talk down to there parents, or treat them like idiots.

And not having a father that partook in his life he is not aware of the limit he should not cross.

I pray that my son becomes more open minded and wants to get to know me as a person, not just his mum. His understanding and empathy needs to expand much more, being unaware that even though he doesn’t want to get hurt, its OK to hurt someone else is wrong.

Please pray that he turns towards me more and away from those who’s attitude he has picked up on, even comments and said them to me, be stopped now in Jesus name.

I understand where he is, but need to see him move forward into where he has been destined to become. Respect those who really do need to be, I learnt more about my mum, when I started listening to the girl she was, instead of what I saw her to be.

She was never just a mum, she was someone who I was able to be the gift she always desired before her time was up, and that was as a friend not just her daughter…