Its very humbling and evident, I asked for the problem to be fixed and he made a way.

I wanted to come out of the shadows and be able to loose weight, dress the way I always liked, wear makeup and get out of trackies and baggy cloths.

I want so very badly to finally be able to live a life, be married to a wonderful man that the Lord has for me and be without pain and bleeding. I keep remembering the woman with the issue of blood, oh Lord to feel energy again is something I am looking forward too, I feel so drained and worn out.

The other day I had a nap and woke up feeling like the operation day was here, I got really nervous and anxious but then realised what the enemy was trying to do. I am in my fathers hands, he will not fail me.

To finally be able to walk not only down my street but around the block is a mission I am looking forward too. To be able to move again and not be restricted in anyway, all I keep thinking is hallelujah.

I am trying to keep my mind off the week after, deal with it when it comes is my view. Don’t panic unless you have too, but remain calm at all times.

I wish at times likes these I had someone really close to me, but this is also a blessing time, because my father is there and my angel. This is a time to really know where your place is with him and its not as bad as anybody thinks.

He just gave me a word, if he is with me, who can stand against me… thanks Dad

Thinking back to my youth, the enemy used those who were suppose to love me the most tried to try and shut me down.

I was always thinking what I would have to do, to have people like me enough. Why did they always say I would never be worthy to be loved, or good enough for anyone, what an absolute LIE.

Getting ready for my trip to hospital it is apparent to me, I am OK just the way I am. My Landlords came and said, that they would help in anyway and then came back and mowed my lawn and trimmed the edges.

Friends from church are surrounding me, ready to offer assistance and the fabulous Jenny is taking time to do the hard part of taking me and picking me up, then making sure I behave. She is an absolute gem, Lord bless those who are there for me please father and help others to understand more and have empathy.

And my boss, even he is making sure I am OK, he has seen me struggle and I am very humbled by it all. To know that I am worth more than I realised, God bless them all.

What gets me is everyone I seem to come into contact with is so stressed and angry.

What happened to laughing at the enemy, as I said to someone yesterday. Stop the pity party, I am still breathing, get positive and laugh.

If I have the opportunity to pray for anyone while I am there then I am going too.

Maybe this happened for me to share my story and journey. As long as I don’t laugh hard and break a stitch, its all good.

I want to show them what he can do, I want to share how the enemy is at fault, own his accusations and repent, then move on. Do not let him hold you down by remembering and condemning you.

As I have said before, I am here for greater things, I always felt my name would appear in the pages of history.

I have nothing to fear…

Yesterday I went in for my pre-admission appointment, operation next week please keep me in your prayers Wednesday.

I am so single minded at times but I want to be out the other side. I am over this thing and its gotta go, its not that I don’t understand the situation. But I choose to believe my father, the last appointment was with the anaesthetic guy. I said to him I believe in the Lord and he was with me last time, he will be there again, I told him that he has saved me many times and I am not going anywhere. He smiled and said, its nice to hear someone who has faith and believes you don’t hear much of that anymore. So sad, but I will glorify my king, my father, my friend and the one and only. I am too far along in my life to care what people think, the only one I care about what they think is the King of kings.

I saw 6 different people and went to the vampires (its a family joke for blood) Yes your going to do this, yes I understand, No I do not agree that anything will go wrong.

I am the exception not the rule. I am my fathers daughter. Lets get this pain gone and recovery on its way.

Recently I put on facebook.

A rainbow is a sign of God’s promise.

A marriage is a covenant before God between a man and woman.

I vote NO because it is written.

I stand on this every time I am persecuted, why because I need to remind myself his word is true.

Its funny but I finally realised to flip the switch and the power has been given to me. Not the other way round, if I am put down, I stand straight up and stand my ground.

Took a while to make the link, but I finally have got it.

I sit here typing away, and my friend is saying, oh finally lol (laugh) We have a relationship that I treasure, I am never alone, the Lord is with me and my best friend.

Thanks friend, I treasure your presence and remember, you never have to ask, you have free entry into this home, for you always have a place to lay your head.

Much love…

I was reading over the post about my dream and came to a realisation.

In life we think we are so smart (but we are not), but I believe the enemy puts things in front of us before the Lord does, especially when it comes to a partner. To try and steer you from your destiny, because remember he read your book, so he knows too.

In my dream this woman had the appearance of everything he wanted, but nothing internal matched. The quality was missing, what is important to me is your heart and what you stand for, more than anything else.

That is the difference, the Lord will give you what you NEED, not what you want.

I believe a good marriage is one where you marry your conscience not the gift wrapping, thinking of it that way, isn’t the gift given better than how its wrapped? I have been married before and it was so very wrong, he was interested in the wrapping, we did not match at all and I knew I was doing the wrong thing, but could not go home and didn’t believe I could live life alone.

Think about this and pray, I know I have to watch when its my time…