Sometimes a simple word can mean a lot

When I was at my doctors, I started joking about the usual notes when you given paper, sex my response in brackets (having had it in 20 yrs), says I was born in …(but I beg to differ).

He asked me, well when do you think you were born, I said to him, (if your talking with God in mind then isn’t it called, eternal life, regardless of the vessel I now reside in).

He looked at me right in the eye and said, “Your right” I know I don’t have to be right or wrong, but I know the way we try and figure things out via the world’s training doesn’t seem to match with his.

I think about things as I chat to him (the father) and this is so strong, to be here, we have to be seen as a human, but if your, your fathers, then really what is your real name, the one give to you that he has for you and how old are you.

Think about it…..food for thought

How a mirror image can be so wrong

A person asked me why when someone passes you can feel a presence.

I put it this way, because I know the work of the enemy when others are seeking.

When born you are assigned two angels, they know when the father instructs what they need to do.

And when your heart is grieving its not the person, I believe you are sensing their presence. To comfort and support your need for it.

Think about it, does not this explanation make more sense if you believe.

I have noticed the changes

Continuing on about becoming aware.

I have noticed not only buying more veg, but the need to have it all.

You see if I bought a pk of ice cream’s for example I would need to have one after the other. Until they were all done, or eat all chocolate etc etc.

I made a really yummy stir fry last night, choy sum, carrot, onion, beef, pasta (vegoroni) and I ate enough, still have 2 meals left from it.

And then I had one ice cream for dessert, that is such a monumental thing.

After when I felt I needed something else I had an apple and banana, this is such a huge transformation for me.

I feel others support and prayers which is amazing, if you have then thank you.

But yahoo…I’m on my way to full happiness

Covid has been a gift

Now I know this may not make sense, but I look at things different to others.

The world had to stop, gift 1.

The world has had time to heal, gift 2.

We have had time to appreciate what we have, gift 3.

We have had time to see, see what is really going and make a stand, gift 4.

Time to spend in prayer and building our relationship with the father, gift 5.

Time to clean up things that we had put aside, gift 6.

Time to reset, gift 7.

When you ask the father, he does answer

I have been asking, why and when..

What caused me to be fat, when did I start to shut down. When and what happened, because you cannot move forward, instead you stay stuck in a system that is not of your making.

I grew up in a time that men could do what they wanted and what ever it was, was OK. No one would listen and think that it was wrong and that is not OK anymore.

So having to face certain memories allowed to look at them, outside of being the person it happened too.

And boy, has that made a difference. You see, I use to be a size 11, I use to exercise, walking and running up and down stadiums, ride my bike etc.

But then, people came along, each taking a piece of me, shutting me down and I started to use food to try and fill this void, you see food was either something to feel pain with. Because you eat until you feel pain or vomit, yes it is the truth, to feel something other than this gnawing feeling inside that you cannot seem to fill or explain.

It comes from words, words & things like, actions that may have been done towards you, are your fault – LIAR. Jealousy of others for just being me – LIAR. Having a hourglass figure and being pretty, to want me when your old and married – LIAR. Putting on makeup and nice cloths, words used to attack – LIAR. Pregnant and being told I am fat etc – LIAR. LIAR LIAR

There are many, many words but I realised after my father showed me, they were issues of others and not mine, but because of there guilt they tried to heap it onto me and convince me it was my fault.

Well the father showed me, it was their garbage and I needed to take out the garbage and send it on it’s way. When you realise, that the guilt you were fed, feeds a hole, that hole is all mental, not physical & nothing to do with your food choices. Your body will hold onto what it can, because like me if you loose a little you freak out inside and need to have that weight on, for protection.

So if this helps anyone else be aware, then I have done my job.

But lets say, the garbage has been taken out and I am now very aware of others problems that were nothing to do with ME.

And I stand in my spirit as my fathers and with so much thanks, that he has allowed me to find the answer.

So just know it is OK, OK to face the hurts and really see how and why.

And to restart, even at my age it is never too late. I am the generation who was coming out of the darkness and I will stand in the light, with everything I have.

 

Letting go

I have come to the conclusion if I see no use for something I have, then I am letting go.

I was brought up, that if something belongs to someone else, you respect and honour that and look after it, until they collect it.

Which is honourable, but when it comes to my things or my past, enough.

I have used this time to go through things and if I have not used it, then out you go.

Its time, time for a new beginning.

Time to hit Go…

The man with a foul tongue

Last week a man called a woman a B, then added something else.

I don’t care what she has done or not done.

Who are you to say those words, I commented.

Excuse me, that is not right to use that language, then he thought I would shut up if he went on.

No, I said regardless, what you said is not right especially in this day and age. And I won’t have it, you could have said, sorry none of your business and end of conversation.

I don’t care if you male or female, especially where we were, it was just wrong.

So have been saying, don’t take cares from others, say no, but I will bless your day.

If you don’t like that, then don’t talk to me.. simple..

LOL

I was watching a DVD someone lent to me. It was Jesse Duplantis and some of the things were extremely clear.

The things he said and the looks, great to laugh. One quote, “if you don’t know what you are, check your equipment, that will tell you”. I learned sometime ago, its not the body they have wrong, part of the brain had not developed.

So its the brain that needs tweaking, but only God can do that.

People pray to God as if he is way over there, when he is inside you. People curse, sin and do things but once they start to pray or go to church they act all good and gracious.

If he lives inside you he hears your curse and sees your sin.

When people are around me, they withhold, but he knew you before you were formed. Jesus took your sin, that includes being raped and all the diseases etc.

So why! What have you got to loose if your surrender, I know SELF, SELFISHNESS, ME, me me…

When you love him, it’s all easy. I am glad I have seen terror, why because what the enemy tries to throw at me. I say, go on, have a go, YOU MUG, for I know who I am, I know the power I hold, and have a father who loves me.

So back off if you know what is good for you, go try someone else, you retard…

We have to change the way we think

I feel like shouting this sometimes, the world, ads, marketing tries to tell us how to live.

Do you not think, that Jesus died for us to live how the father has instructed.

Not to get all religious, but to live with honour, respect etc keeping it simple.

I see a road block as time to pray or look at the beauty around me.

I see a storm as a cleaning tool from heaven.

I see a obstacle used to hurt me, as growth, that makes me an over comer.

I see all this building my character and for that I am truly thankful.

Do not divert your eyes…

On Wednesday the message was clear, to me anyway, to not divert, not give up.

Because he is so worth it all, and always remember what Jesus took on himself for us, so if your life hits a patch, it’s only for a short time, grab hold of the handles with both hands for the ride. Your about to learn from it.

Yesterday someone said something to me, that filled me with such joy. The main gist of the message was, “you have had a crap life, but you are so close to receiving it all.

Why because what the enemy used for bad, I flip for good. I will not let him steal, kill or destroy me, I am here because I am a winner, I am a son or daughter of God.

My response was, thank you so much and Amen.

I can tell you from experience this, walking away, diverting the course, giving up. Gives you nothing, remember the word ETERNITY.

I can tell you the truth, when I say I have been to hell and back, and walked around like the walking dead, never feeling or letting anything touch you. This is not living, but being a victim of the enemy.

So, what I do is make fists as if I am grabbing hold of the father, and I growl, I put down what is hurting me, I step out of it and know my father has me, when I may fall. He will pick me up and keep me safe.

But as the blues brothers said, I am on a mission from God, and it ain’t over till,┬áit’s over, so hold on, for the glory and joy that comes from the other side is so amazing, I cannot put it into words.

The journey is worth every step you take, it’s about YOUR maturity and how you take it that is the message to learn.

I WILL NEVER concede defeat..I am my fathers daughter…no longer a slave…