I say this statement will all my heart holds.

God is so very good, so very good to me and I love him with my whole heart for it and the journey I have been on.

He is brilliant, he is a comfort a guide and my dad all in one.

Love him and see what he does, and remember training is not a burden, it’s a lesson you have learn.

It is funny how when you think about something and question yourself, how he hears you.

Last week I had to make an accounting appointment. And I stated about the issue that “I didn’t know what to do, but I had to do something”.

Then two night later that same statement came up on a movie “the book club 2”. I nearly rose to my feet in a cheer, to me this is him saying, you did it right.

This is very important because all might life those who should have been supporting and just loving me, were out to destroy me. So, I question myself many times, but this is getting fewer. Why I am learning faster, that my decisions are on point and that gives me a power and authority, with confidence.

I haven’t been posting as much as I felt I needed too, because I had to deal with an issue, but finally I am putting myself first and this has been very very enlightening.

It is not that God is not the very first on my list, but when it comes to others and how draining they have been, I had to cut the cord and say to myself enough.

God is always first and then me, it is about time and I am not one bit guilty, which if you knew me is miraculous.

Has anyone seen the shorts of Mike Mageles, he is a devoted young man and when its required, God uses him to send a message and I love that.

I am still clearing things out, it’s hard because I feel totally exhausted, but I know why and little by little I am coming out of it, to remove all the excess…

My space will be used for me and not anything that is not needed, what a revelation.

It always still amazes me when he aligns things I have been thinking about or praying for.

Feeling like you have been heard and seen is truly a gift, because many people don’t do this. They may talk at you, instead of to you. They may need to get something off their chest, but rarely sit and hear you.

I am one who cuts things into sections, because then you’re hearing and seeing things, for example when you listening to someone, are you hearing what they are saying or just listening.

Do you get the message or has it gone through one ear and out the other. Have you heard their cry or are you so busy, you miss the life right in front of you.

I find when I need something or if I have an expectation, it aligns at the right time and in his right season. I feel so loved and seen when this happens and I love him more for it.

Recently I had to go hard, not because I wanted to be mean but because for the first time in my life, I had to choose me first. This is a big thing for me, because I have always felt I needed to be ready for when people needed me, but no one of those where there for me, except that one and only God’s gorgeous red head. So, I made the decision and now I am getting rid of things, because I want my life, set for me.

I want to be available more for him, I need the space to enjoy what I enjoy doing. And for that I need to sell and rid myself of the excess, I have already made deliveries to the local op shops. But I need to rid myself of beds, yes, I need just mine and have the spare rooms cleared so I can reorganise and just keep what I need.

This is a big decision on my part, but I need to stop just existing and motivate the spaces to be used for me. I have trouble doing certain things because of my back and knees but having all this stuff is getting to me, so out she goes. I am over the just encase scenario, for the amount of people that now don’t stay for a visit, well why keep something others can use.

If he is aligning me to clear out, clear up and set myself up, then I am on board. Its overdue and I already have another back seat full of clothes etc to go.

It’s another form of weight loss that I am on board about. Because as another thing goes, I feel so much lighter.

Now this is something I am always mystified about, I see many people being responsive to emotion.

Yes, they get revved up and wham, an emotional response that causes problems, not only to you but those around you.

Many moons ago I worked this out, that many will automatically respond and it is not always good.

Then I thought about myself, how I had reacted in situations that could have been handled better.

So, when you know you know and I get this image of my hand picking up and sitting emotion to the side, because it does me no good.

So many times, this has saved me, it’s like when I hear someone speak, in my head I have cut the words into sentences, and I see what others may have missed. Keys to the conversation that no one else seems to hear. This information has shocked many, because as they talk, they miss what they are saying, the answer they are looking for and for me, the lies I pick up on.

You see, I grew up with a dad who was a compulsive liar, abusive, violent and nuts. I saw the effect he had on not just mum but me and others. What shocked me was how different he was outside the house, it was like a switch.

Coming from all that, having a pedophile as a sibling, a gas lighting narcissist etc, this showed me what I did not want to be and then I realised, I had the power to choose. Just like you, to choose the real father, the one and only.

When you think you have no one, these choices of mine have been extremely powerful.

I am no saint, but I stand on these facts, I have surrendered, all of me. I will be kind, I will show empathy, respect, honour and truth. And I will speak it even if those around me don’t like to hear it.

And in that when I struggle, he gives me answers, he hears my spirit and shows me that my overall decisions are correct to him. In that I find grace, I find love, I find peace.

I always think about this specific saying, it’s when you have to deal with another glitch in the force.

But thinking about it, how true is it if you think, lemons? Lemonade or lemon tea, lemon cake, lemon on chicken, dried lemon, frozen lemon juice etc etc etc.

There are many ways of dealing with each day’s issues, or the same old thing again. But when you have him beside you the list is endless, or when he stands in so simple.

It’s like with this page; I started it wanting to let my story and my journey come out. I wanted to share how you can go through something, that at the times feels like it’s going to kill you, but what it does is strengthen you, it trains you for the next step in your life. The life he has planned perfectly for you, your grand architect who has your blueprints laid out in front of him.

And when it is required and the person is put in front of you, to help those who have had the same experience you have, and you can share how he brought me through and that it can be done.

I am so very glad that the old lady next door prayed for me as a little girl, she may not have been treated well by her son and daughter in-law. But I believe she got into heaven and they are headed south, their judgement will show it all, the notes taken of their lives and what has been done that is not of him.

We need to very much keep this in mind, the lemons in our lives that we may be related too, but as I have removed myself from the talons of their lives. I feel a freedom and a wonderment of what is around me, you see I feel more than I see.

My spirit is connected and that very thing I keep in mind never to lose. It is a very rare and precious to have that connection in my life. And I love the rarest things; the one offs as you will. I think that is why I love the handbags I make, each one is a one off.

Then I think of my mum’s words, “when god made you, he broke the mould” that’s special.

Even when people have tried to pigeonhole me and try and destroy me, those simple words make me think that in my little life someone saw something special in me.

So as you have read this, you may not know of someone who may be praying for you, but know he is waiting for you, there is no big way to pray as you introduce yourself, just open up the door and start the conversation.

And know he loves you, all of you even the parts you’re trying to hide.

Be blessed.

Sometimes I take the time to look into who is reading my posts, where etc and I am amazed everytime.

I thank you for finding my little site and I thank you that the Lord has directed your path and my hope has always been, that through my journey even the mucky parts. If it helps someone or 1 person, then it is all worth it.

It’s just me and my journey, how I leaned on my father and what I learned along the way.

So thank you again and have a blessed day.

Stay warm if you’re freezing like I am, nights have been down to 2 degrees C and I am not putting the heater on until I have too, just trying to watch my usage as bills will come.

But I am thankful for my fathers direction on it all.

I may have spoken about this before and since I have been baptised many years ago, I truly believe I am of his DNA, but I wondered about things and researching, I found anomolies.

So, doing a DNA test, confused the heck out of me, one was how both my parents were so very similar with the ancestry. Another was, there was a lady in the small town we lived Mrs Staff, now it seems I am related, via the male, so I ask, when mum stated the woman living across from my grandparents’ house was my true grandmother, what who why… oh and the fact my father always stated he was born in Wagga Wagga, but the facts show he was born in a mother and baby home in Albury. See lies

Another was the amount of German in my ancestry, and finding documentation about my grandmother’s divorce, didn’t know she had been married before or had 3 kids or her maiden name.

But what struck me was her insistence on marriage, but my male parent was born on the 19 and she married on the 23, so she was unwed, also how rich her first husband was, was shocking, but I now understand her expensive furniture.

I have found the document trail is completely different to the DNA result, so I knew my family history would be a challenge for anyone, but boy oh boy it sure is.

Something I wish is this, once you have DNA, that a tree would form on the site for you. Even my challenging one, so it makes more sense, even the cross references or things that do not add up.

There are things that connect me to Royalty, so really thinking of the world me, who really am I. I knew my family had secrets and lies, but boy oh boy

Something that my mum taught me, was to pay attention to the value of things.

I had a book called the Silver Brumby, this book was gifted and I read it and handed it back. I knew the value of this book and once saw the author and how she regretted not keeping the paper cover on the book.

Why, because her first print hardcover at the time was worth $600 but the cover slip on the book was $1500. Now this is something that has bugged me, I gave it to the owner written inside the cover, being nice but told her that information, well because this person is a narcissist and will not listen to anyone, I am sure by now she dumped it.

Throwing away money is ridiculous to me and this came back to my mind because yesterday I was drying my cloths, someone had left two very old books there and I was interested in the one with the paper slip still attached, this book is very very old. So, I looked up the value, over $100-$200 or more.

I rang the person who owned the place and asked if I could take it home, I was given the all clear. So when I can I am going to list it and it gets me back to the heading.

Do you really look at something, do you pay attention and listen, do you store information and value, what others do not.

Don’t just disregard it because it may not seem like anything to you, value is when you really understand having God in your life. Value all he has for you and all he has done for you, do not get caught up in the mess of the world, but see his value.

As I get older it may seem a bit morbid but, do you ever wonder about it.

Why am I on this wavelength, reading the bible and what has come before us, really makes me think of the end.

Now, I think about how the world is going, how the sin is being more and more accepted and when it says about your choices, when the time comes.

You see, if someone threatens to cut off your head if you don’t denounce the father, what would you do. I think we are all going to our eternal rest and I love him, I have no choice to choose.

A couple of weeks ago I did not feel good at all, I had trouble standing and it was if my balance was off. I stayed awake until just before 6am, I felt like if I went to sleep, I would not wake up again, so I forced myself to stay awake.

Thinking about being home, makes me feel excited for this world is getting worse and worse, many are so oblivious to the sin its almost invisible.

The world and the enemy behind it, is trying so hard to change our belief, but when you experience it, there is not another option available.

Every time I think about something to write, I am in bed and its more in the early hours, I like the quiet, I like the peace I feel.

I want to try and post more, but I feel many don’t get what I am on about, but few really do…

There are those who live a life religiously but go beyond what is deemed normal and loose the plot and can become quiet controlling and bullying.

Before anyone gets upset, calm the farm and open your spirit a minute this is my personal views here.

Then there are those who say they believe in God, and they swear, they sleep around and lie.

Others say they are Christian and then when the xxx hits the fan, they do not stand on the word and react instead.

So, which am I, I have become what I think he would want me to be, open minded, a person who laughs when something comes up, my daughter said the top of her meniscus is gone, I laughed and said it’s a convertible. Now, she knew what I meant and I told her, when you know what he can do for you, listen to what the doctor is saying, but don’t allow it in, for the enemy is an idiot. And I told her of many miracles I had witnessed too. That he can fix it, but why did it happen, not what you did, but why is he stopping you, then I reminded her of what is coming ahead that the enemy read in your book, that is so amazing, he is falling over himself to stop you.

I strongly believe that so many see with their eyes, but not by his spirit and then wonder why the world views them as nuts.

Me, I just go along, do what I do and spread a smile a laugh and joy, then if he nudges me, I act on it. That I think is the right thing to do as I keep reading the bible every morning.

Can I add this reading about Pharoah he had plagues and plagues and evidence and evidence, and I am shocked that someone in power can be so oblivious to the power of God.

I believe it is not you in charge but if you allow him to work through you and become his vessel amazing things can take place.

Be bold, what have you got to lose.