But the search continues, yesterday I came very close to having my next car, but I was feeling very yuk.

I have had problem with my Asthma over the fire season, being dry etc and it felt like a ten-tonne elephant has been sitting on me. It had zapped my energy, and it was really hard to cope, but after seeing the doctor, the medication I soon remembered why I steered clear of it.

But here I sit after the body reaction, and I am able to manage again.

There were things that I did not know, but I was second in line and that was close, I learned what I need to do next time. We all live and learn along the way, when I lived in the country a car would sit for ages. Here bam, its gone, that is really quick, I keep forgetting the amount of people I am surrounded by.

Last night, I started to feel old, slow and just out of my depth, then after a little cry, I thought hang on a minute, if it was meant to be, God would have made a way for me, with no limitations in the way.

As I sit here typing away to anyone who wants to listen, God has something more and I cannot give up. I just have to listen. I am very prepared, that is something I have on my side, I am organised as I have always thought of many situations and learned over the years to be prepared and not go into something half cocked.

I saw some other cars, low milage, but something didn’t feel right and other than not liking the safety of charcoal or black cars, I am very open to any colour. It’s funny but every time I see a bright green car, I feel happy, it’s like a little burst of joy.

Keeping my eyes peeled and my friends and mechanic who make me feel so blessed to have, is really reassuring.

But thinking on that note, if anyone would like to pray for my next car, I have written a list of wants and needs. And I know my dad will help me, now I have a better understanding of what I have to do.

Be blessed, have a great day and don’t forget to find the joy…

Every time someone I know sees me, they do the same thing, oh that’s a shame about your car.

I look them dead in the eye and say this, no it’s not, it is a blessing, because he has given me time.

Time to change my attitude, time to find what he has that is better than I could think for myself.

And time to show others, what is the right way, his way of thinking and reacting.

So, instead of the negative, I grab hold of the very utmost positive it has been for me.

Now, let’s dive into this, because I know what works, and expecting something really does work.

Something someone wise told me, many years ago. If your pregnant, you have an expectation, that by the end you’re going to have a healthy and happy baby. YES…

So, when you want something so strongly to happen, you need to also be pregnant with that expectation and hold it, like a baby in your womb.

You speak it out, you pray, and you sit in that positive pregnancy. Now, some may think this is a daft way of thinking and those wise enough will get the message.

I sit here and I have two big expectations, so twins are due, lol. It will come to pass, because I have that expectation and every time I think of it, I will say out loud, father, you know what I have asked for, I will say it and how I have the expectation of it’s delivery.

I’m excited for it to present itself, so do you want to be expecting… if your wise you will grab hold of this.

Like the knowing and expectation of the written word, I know the words are real, I know and believe in everything that Jesus has done and is going to do and what is to come…

Get excited people…

A lot of the time, I don’t look at myself as anything at all, then something takes place and it happened recently.

I have been looking for another car, to replace my old worn out one, as I started looking a friend who is really good at finding cars offered to also keep his eyes peeled. Then this happened, I rang my mechanic who knows me, and I told him about what was happening, because my old car sits with him. He told me the cars to look for that are rarely in his shop for fixing.

Then we chatted some more and he said to me, that when I find one, try and get one not to far and he will look it over for me, so I don’t get a dud. Now when he said that I was really moved, and I thought to myself, hang on, I must be a really nice person, if that just happened.

I am always thinking like this when I interact with people, I want to be kind, because what would Jesus do. Then, I always think I would like to have honour, respect and honesty done unto me, so I stand by that.

And this I know, what you give out, you get back in loads of ways.

I now have an expectation, that my car will come soon, that it will be at God’s price and it will be the best he has for me.

Instead of just hoping or taking a risk, I trust him, I trust that he will help me every step of the way, why because I know he has me and I trust in that, I have turned it all into expectation of greater things to come.

Keeping this one short, I was working on something, little by little and keeping it as something that is important to do.

It says to shout with joy when you get a bill and its paid.

Well, I kept doing this and used extra funds to put down as credits, and my last electricity bill came in 0.00

Yes, that is right 0 yahooo

I notice things have a pattern, things that others do not.

Like in Alaska the weather has been colder than ever before, here we had 42c day, the fires were burning the country and mountains, and I had to hide inside because smoke affects my breathing (asthma).

I find when we have weird weather you can see the other side will have the complete opposite.

But, as we might complain, we still will get in our petrol guzzling cars and big wasteful vehicles, because we are designed to be manipulated by ads.

I am saying when here, but when I have the money for a brand-new car, I will still look for a used one. Why, because I was taught it’s not about you can, it’s about should you.

So many get into debt and then spend lives trying to pay it off, because they want it now, instead of waiting for the right time, his time.

I know myself; I have had times I would have bought and spent and wasted, when there was no need too. To me it’s not about having a Bentley in the driveway, or owning a mansion, it’s about what do I need, what fits the purpose for me now.

I live in a humble little home, and I love the place, the wide street, watching as the years go by and seeing people move in and out of homes. Buying something bigger to spread out, but a couple of years they have too much space because the kids have gone and they are paying off a huge mortgage, instead of just making do, until they are all gone.

You see, I love a house that has a life lived by a family, how things have changed, walls were painted, rooms were adjusted, but still all those walls have a story to tell. Telling of the sad times, the fun times, all those Christmas’s when the house felt like it was bulging.

I watch a man who dresses in his worn track pants and t shirt, he is a multi-millionaire and drives a Mercedes. He still lives in the same house, with his wife and family, he could buy a new pair and get a haircut, it’s what I think every time I see him.

It’s funny how we see things, I see dry riverbeds in new estates, and where not to build, I can appreciate them and wish the owners well. I know what I need and that all must come after my father, not before and definitely not before time.

Time has its own pattern, its own rhythm and locking into that grove is where I belong, everything to come this year father, I receive with joy….

This week has been action week, I am waiting on my new cpap machine, I have been saving extra hard to make sure I get one. So, I can return the borrowed one from the hospital and someone else can get it.

But also, a transition car, I have been looking at Volvo’s because the seats look amazing and with my back, I need amazing instead of so uncomfortable.

I am thinking of putting up a sign, free stuff and putting all my extras outside, but I would also like to pass them onto domestic violence place, because when we had to leave, I did think of others and how they cope when they need to exit without taking anything but themselves.

When I do something, I think of every avenue, why, because when you have all options laid out and you have done all the research, you can make the best decision.

It has just hit me again; I am not limiting myself to a brand or a level of something that I don’t deserve. When you are his child, you deserve anything, and everything all at the same time.

Looking ahead to far greater expectations of things and more.

NOTE: My children have their birthdays today one is 37 the other is 35 omg, so amazing that I remembered, and only because yesterday I was buying meat and checked the date on my phone. lol

And I make it to New Years 2027

As it hits close to midnight, the knowledge that living on a hill you get to see a vast view of the Melbourne and surrounding suburbs.

It was great to walk out my front door and see the beautiful lights, everyone was out looking, and I yelled out happy new year, then met a new neighbour.

We chatted for a while, after finding out how long I had been here and what I knew about the street. She said to me, “aren’t you scared living by yourself” I told her I grew up in the country, “you hit first and ask questions later and I will be taking DNA”.

She was surprised and I shared how I had been scared for 26 years of my life and I am done. You take me on, be warned, I do not stand alone. As I told her I believe in God and she told me she does too, I shared a few stories how he settles and I don’t have to fight but just encase I have things set up for protection.

I love it how the father, gives you an opportunity to speak, just when you don’t expect it.

But as I keep living on this earth one thing I know, every day is a new day to share his name….

When I was growing up, my mum was blunt if she had something to say, sometimes, it felt like a wack.

This I just felt as I was about to leave for the day, “it’s time to be bold”.

I will no longer hide; I will no longer be held back by the feeling of not being good enough (and who is good enough to judge that anyway).

It has taken a lifetime to know this truth, it’s okay to be me. Being kind is not a weakness, being smart is not something to be ashamed of. Putting on makeup and wearing nice cloths does not and I repeat does not define that I am trying to be something I am not.

I am these things, I am my father’s daughter, I am nice, funny, kind and empathetic.

If you do not like me or judge me for my decision made for the right reasons, then that is on you (this is if anyone related to me and reads this). For so long, you tried to squash me, belittle me, blame me and manipulate me. I have news for you, do not stand in my way, for you may not like what comes. This is a warning, why, it’s about time, you know your place, you might be older, but you are far from wiser. You may think everyone around you is less than you, but one thing I know, people are not as stupid as YOU may think. They see the real you and don’t like it, I cannot fake my heart and the way I care. They see that you do, they see all your faults and as someone said to me, “I like you but not your sister.” I know you read this, because your nose cannot mind its own business. What I do, is none of yours, what I choose is none of yours, my children are not yours to rule over and manipulate like puppets in your game. Whether I have money or not, is none of your business, the fact I have chosen to surrender my life to God, DOES NOT mean I am in a cult. You have been wrong so many times, you have had so many failed relationships and done incomprehensible damage, but because of what you are, you have no understanding of this. All the work I have done whether in business or otherwise is from my brilliant brain, my honour, respect and the words given to me by those in heads of industry show, I am more than you will ever acknowledge. I leave you with this dear sibling, I am steadfast and ready so leave my children alone, stay away from them and me, for if you do not, then I leave the father to deal with you and your life. For all you have done is written and you cannot manipulate the day of judgement, but I send you this, love and a prayer that you come out of the mental darkness on which you sit and into the light.

For those who do not know, what I have lived through, some in my life had to be let go and the father allowed this to happen. It may seem extremely harsh, but it is the only language she will understand.

But I send out love, for instead of anger, I feel sympathy and a sadness for what has been stolen from each one of us.

The heading does say, it is time, TIME TO BE BOLD.