Acting for change

In my life I put on a brave face, only a few will really know things I want them to know.

And that is OK, but I need to scream. I get hurt and I shut up, but I think what would my father do.

What would Jesus want me to do here, he knows me, I have allowed him full disclosure.

He knows what I am dealing with and only he will know, because he has to do it.

I cannot force someone to change, I cannot share tears that words have made me shed.

I will put a smile on my face and act like its fine for peace. Because, regardless of the attacks, he has showed me that what is said, is because they see themselves in me.

The old me, and seeing me sharpens their sword. So it is OK, because I believe in his work.

I trust him to be my protection, so as I come out of this sadness, I will be shown his glory for his plan is for me, not against me.
Ain’t that the truth…

Putting on the right hat

When I was young, my brothers faults were felt. But I watched my mother, take on his faults and excuse him, over and over.

She was trained as a child to think, she was less because she was female and anything they did to her, was expected because they had a right.

Until before she died, that phone call sometimes comes back and I do shed a tear. Because, it took till he did something that broke her, as she said, “If I tell you, you will KILL him”.

You see, my dad (boy that was hard to write) would belt with closed fits and rape her and mentally assault her all the time. He had a sexually transmitted disease but was also a spoilt boy, which grew into a spoilt man.

But his wrongs become my mothers burden, when his mother should have whacked him.

As I grew, I married another spoilt boy, sick is a very light description. But his faults, his mother blamed me. Again, what the heck, take off the rose coloured glasses.

Then I met my children’s father, yes never married, as I said, I have lived in the world and I am not perfect, but I will go onto perfection. I met him, I dressed well and was a size 11-12, little by little I lost me, I gained so much weight because of words, cutting words and became a size 22. And his mother blamed me for his mistakes, and her husbands mistakes, she took on to her death bed.

So these past weeks I saw the side of my son, I do not like. A dishonouring son, a son I stood up for and was lied too, a son that I should have blamed and I took on his faults.
As to why this post, when do you take the hat and wear it. My hat is mine, but yours is just that, YOURS. So I post this, because the father is showing me the light and I see now, I go before him for forgiveness and to put in me the strength to stand strong for him.

I will no longer, wear anyone else’s hat. I am not your REFLECTION, that is what you see, but I am not the enemy, I am not in the wrong.

Maybe, just maybe it is YOU….

This post is meant for growth and change.

Thinking about the word children

Yesterday I was discussing how I am making a stand, I regret the conversation, because you cannot share certain things.

All night I have felt a deep sadness, because I see my old self in the old thinking pattern.

I realise from experience that there is always more to know, but when it is no ones business, but you and the father it becomes a case of, I want to stop and not talk any more. I live as if with my father, so when I have to deal with something so minor and it really is, I have to step back and shut the heck up.

I know that someone has poisoned one’s mind, the other speaks the right words, but has nothing to back it up. I have had to realise, these past few weeks that if my son, cannot see the truth then that is up to him. I am not the enemy here, I put a lot into them and copped a lot and cried a lot, especially when their father would not participate in their lives, I know the pain in that.

But they are not children anymore, I did the best with what I had at the time. When they become adults they have to answer to him, when the time comes.

I will not stop my life, when I have surrendered it, to be pulled back and back and back. That is ridiculous to me, I am not going to force anyone to love me, because I have the word mother over me.

I mothered them, when everyone walked away. I may not have done everything right, but at least I have apologised and I leave the rest to the father.

It is time to put the responsibility in the right place, not the wrong.

I feel myself getting to a place of standing for my fathers right to be heard.

It is a time of great injustice to Christian’s and people everywhere.

But we have the right, we are not insignificant, we are made for his purpose.

The father I feel wants me to stand and make noise.

If he tells me, I cannot deny him, I cannot sit by and think, oh you got it wrong or I am scared.

Oh no, not me, for I have nothing to loose and the father to gain.

I will do what he requires of me, in the time that is required and I will not be sorry or ashamed. I will stand boldly to make know the mystery of his kingdom.

I am his daughter and if you don’t like it, then don’t listen… But a time is coming soon that you will not be able to anymore..

OOooo he is on point.

Freedom of speech – America stand & pray

I have read our constitution and words from Americas is that your suppose to have freedom of speech and liberty.

WHERE IS IT???? freedom to have your vote counted. Hmmmm

So when votes are being cancelled out (so bad), people are pushing there weight around intimidating those who are suppose to be free to have there voice heard.

Really get a grip, I watch sometimes and think, what a joke, because I am sure they say things, just to sound better than they really are. I watch a 77 year old dirty old man, don’t be fooled & why isn’t someone protecting those young girls, someone has to shout NOW.

AGAIN IT IS NOT FINISHED, trust me when I say if witches are up praying at night, then you need to pray, you do not want a cursed nation under the control of the enemy.

Donald has been picked to clean things up, yes he may play with the media. But I watch and listen and see, see what others do not.

Trust the masters plan, do not get confused by personality.
Remember it says, “I will take the foolish to confound the wise”.

So if you fear anything, fear your freedom and pray for the Don.

TRUST TRUST TRUST, I have been praying all the time.

Because I have dealt with the bad and you DO NOT WANT TO GO THERE.

Pray for America

On April 29, 2017, the Lord Jesus appeared to Bro. Sadhu Selvaraj.
He said: “Surround the president with prayer. You need to organise a
governmental prayer watch. Pray he completes his full term for that is the
period of grace extended for this nation. His term should not be
prematurely aborted. Witches have formed a prayer watch in the night
hours to do sorcery and witchcraft over him.”
The apostle, Paul, instructed Timothy to wage war with the prophecies
spoken concerning his life. We should do the same as we pray for
President Trump.
“This charge I commit to you, son Timothy, according to the prophecies
previously made concerning you, that by them you may wage the good
warfare.” 1 Timothy 1:18

“Donald Trump will become president. He will be used to clean and
purify the nation.

Do you accept the challange…

Again I tried to leave the page and these words got asked of you and me.

DO YOU ACCEPT THE CHALLANGE?

Do you accept what he is about to ask of you, to do?

Lord I accept the challange, show me what you need of me and I will do it.

I do not care what the world thinks of me, they do not rule my life.

I live for YOU and YOU alone…