I may have spoken about this before and since I have been baptised many years ago, I truly believe I am of his DNA, but I wondered about things and researching, I found anomolies.

So, doing a DNA test, confused the heck out of me, one was how both my parents were so very similar with the ancestry. Another was, there was a lady in the small town we lived Mrs Staff, now it seems I am related, via the male, so I ask, when mum stated the woman living across from my grandparents’ house was my true grandmother, what who why… oh and the fact my father always stated he was born in Wagga Wagga, but the facts show he was born in a mother and baby home in Albury. See lies

Another was the amount of German in my ancestry, and finding documentation about my grandmother’s divorce, didn’t know she had been married before or had 3 kids or her maiden name.

But what struck me was her insistence on marriage, but my male parent was born on the 19 and she married on the 23, so she was unwed, also how rich her first husband was, was shocking, but I now understand her expensive furniture.

I have found the document trail is completely different to the DNA result, so I knew my family history would be a challenge for anyone, but boy oh boy it sure is.

Something I wish is this, once you have DNA, that a tree would form on the site for you. Even my challenging one, so it makes more sense, even the cross references or things that do not add up.

There are things that connect me to Royalty, so really thinking of the world me, who really am I. I knew my family had secrets and lies, but boy oh boy

Something that my mum taught me, was to pay attention to the value of things.

I had a book called the Silver Brumby, this book was gifted and I read it and handed it back. I knew the value of this book and once saw the author and how she regretted not keeping the paper cover on the book.

Why, because her first print hardcover at the time was worth $600 but the cover slip on the book was $1500. Now this is something that has bugged me, I gave it to the owner written inside the cover, being nice but told her that information, well because this person is a narcissist and will not listen to anyone, I am sure by now she dumped it.

Throwing away money is ridiculous to me and this came back to my mind because yesterday I was drying my cloths, someone had left two very old books there and I was interested in the one with the paper slip still attached, this book is very very old. So, I looked up the value, over $100-$200 or more.

I rang the person who owned the place and asked if I could take it home, I was given the all clear. So when I can I am going to list it and it gets me back to the heading.

Do you really look at something, do you pay attention and listen, do you store information and value, what others do not.

Don’t just disregard it because it may not seem like anything to you, value is when you really understand having God in your life. Value all he has for you and all he has done for you, do not get caught up in the mess of the world, but see his value.

As I get older it may seem a bit morbid but, do you ever wonder about it.

Why am I on this wavelength, reading the bible and what has come before us, really makes me think of the end.

Now, I think about how the world is going, how the sin is being more and more accepted and when it says about your choices, when the time comes.

You see, if someone threatens to cut off your head if you don’t denounce the father, what would you do. I think we are all going to our eternal rest and I love him, I have no choice to choose.

A couple of weeks ago I did not feel good at all, I had trouble standing and it was if my balance was off. I stayed awake until just before 6am, I felt like if I went to sleep, I would not wake up again, so I forced myself to stay awake.

Thinking about being home, makes me feel excited for this world is getting worse and worse, many are so oblivious to the sin its almost invisible.

The world and the enemy behind it, is trying so hard to change our belief, but when you experience it, there is not another option available.

Every time I think about something to write, I am in bed and its more in the early hours, I like the quiet, I like the peace I feel.

I want to try and post more, but I feel many don’t get what I am on about, but few really do…

There are those who live a life religiously but go beyond what is deemed normal and loose the plot and can become quiet controlling and bullying.

Before anyone gets upset, calm the farm and open your spirit a minute this is my personal views here.

Then there are those who say they believe in God, and they swear, they sleep around and lie.

Others say they are Christian and then when the xxx hits the fan, they do not stand on the word and react instead.

So, which am I, I have become what I think he would want me to be, open minded, a person who laughs when something comes up, my daughter said the top of her meniscus is gone, I laughed and said it’s a convertible. Now, she knew what I meant and I told her, when you know what he can do for you, listen to what the doctor is saying, but don’t allow it in, for the enemy is an idiot. And I told her of many miracles I had witnessed too. That he can fix it, but why did it happen, not what you did, but why is he stopping you, then I reminded her of what is coming ahead that the enemy read in your book, that is so amazing, he is falling over himself to stop you.

I strongly believe that so many see with their eyes, but not by his spirit and then wonder why the world views them as nuts.

Me, I just go along, do what I do and spread a smile a laugh and joy, then if he nudges me, I act on it. That I think is the right thing to do as I keep reading the bible every morning.

Can I add this reading about Pharoah he had plagues and plagues and evidence and evidence, and I am shocked that someone in power can be so oblivious to the power of God.

I believe it is not you in charge but if you allow him to work through you and become his vessel amazing things can take place.

Be bold, what have you got to lose.

Recently a couple of times, I have said something out loud and it hit me.

What hit me, just how strong I am, how I have come through so much and what I have learned about myself.

My daughter had to go to hospital, she hurt her knee and I know that a lot of things I say to her, what she takes in and what goes over her head.

But what struck me was how this strength came out, I told her how the times I have had to go, I know I’m there to show his light from inside of me, how to show his word, to pray when I ask them and to stand on the knowledge of what you can do, when you believe. How being his vessel is a blessing to share with others in the right way, if only they will listen.

I learned that I am not afraid of anyone when I have to stand for him, to stand for I am jealous of my father, as he is jealous of me. How that knowledge leads me, strengthens me and surprises me in times I don’t expect it too.

This is brilliant, something that was so an answer to a prayer I asked, for I had heard about fasting but didn’t know really how to do it, in the pain I was experiencing.

So, the lord answers in the most surprising way, I saw a short, you can fast from your phone, from the tv, whatever you’re battling with, it doesn’t just mean food like I thought and the young man said you read the bible and pray.

My nerve had been pinching for over 4 months and I was beside myself, I couldn’t think straight at times, it just got too much. So, a week ago I chose to fast on scrolling YouTube, I would check the weather and the time, also add in the texts to my daughter. And NO tv and I would do it from dawn to dusk. Because that is all I had in me, losing sleep etc wears on you and I did it all day, I set my phone alarm for sunset and I read, I prayed and I chatted to him.

Well well well, he answered, my nerve unlocked, I awoke with no pain in my left butt cheek, and I shouted a hallelujah because he deserved it, I told my doctor, my physio and anyone who would listen. I was so happy and relieved.

To see the evidence that it works to me was my miracle and I will take that all day long.

Then I think again, you live you learn, but you must put his lessons into action and believe..

It takes times like these to process old memories; I was reminded of this because my daughter is recently making bags, zip pouches etc.

She said the idea came from what I am doing, I like it because it keeps her mind occupied. My mum learnt to sew and made things, but needed a pattern, myself I see something and work it out or use an item and take the pattern from that. I have trouble following a pattern and I get inspired and have to act quickly.

I used to watch my mum, thread the needles for her and help as required, she was stunned at how I could manage to sew and do something so quick, we had this shared love of seeing something and making our version. My daughter has that knack, how to put things together and sew, it helped me that I also worked in a clothing factory for a short time.

Recently I went into a local high quality fabric store and picked up a cheap fabric, for the store that is. I loved it because it had snails on it, mum would have laughed, but I made a zip pouch and a coin purse it was out of 1/8 fat quarter. I hate waste but you can always use a little baggy. I needed a coin holder for the car, and it makes me smile.

I added this pic in to show you; I love how things from the past that are a good memory and gift. Springs to life as you go about your day.

I was reminded of this over this easter break, thinking of our wonderful Jesus and his sacrifice, being so grateful for all he has done for me in showing his love.

Processing the old into the new and thinking, he dies and rises for each of us. I am so grateful to him, so thankful, so overcome for what he did, thinking of me and those who will follow.

Having difficulty at the moment, my body is in bondage, but I will not let it stop me all the time.

I have to choose, do I push and hurt more, or let it bug me, well I do end up doing it, then later I have trouble moving in pain. I have always had to scratch my brain, even if its four in the morning.

Thinking about this today, it’s like reading the bible, it always seemed to be to be a really big task that I was not equipped for. But I kept watching the shorts and words of the day.

Then I came across an idea 5 minutes, 5 to pray, 5 to read, 5 etc. And I thought I could do that, 5 mins, so I read to the next section then prayed etc and it works.

Finding to cut it down allows me to not only scratch that itch but take it in, instead of just reading.

A young man gives snippets of the word and the father.

I swear no not really, but the father was speaking to me directly.

He knows and this young man in about 5 days straight, hit me with the messages I needed.

The past does not define you, let go of regret, he made you for now and he doesn’t make it hard for the weak. He is building a warrior, now doesn’t that seem to fit me.

Before my lovely spiritual mum went home, she prayed over me and you know, that day changed me, because the little hurt girl was put to rest. I no longer had this consuming scream of anger for what I had lived through, and the father finished with.

He makes a diamond under great pressure, letting me know just how he sees me.

Ain’t that a beautiful thing to be said to you…

I was scrolling over the weekend through the shorts, and something reminded me that I must be more ready for things.

Recently, I have noticed that many of the limited things I eat have been removed off the shelves.

My Worcestershire sauce, the bread etc all disappeared because not enough people bought them.

Going in for some more loafs I was told they have removed it from the shelves and is no longer under contract is the jist.

I have found if it isn’t colourful or fancy, people don’t choose it, because they don’t really look or read the ingredients. I found a wrap packet all fancy and colourful, but the ingredients are not okay, so I found the plain packet only had about 4 ingredients, so much better and I got it home opened the packet and slid paper in between and froze it, also turned out to be great for mini pizzas.

Like a plain face, it can be changed with pretty colours and many layers, but it’s still the same face.

But when it comes back to what I can eat, and I get turned off the same things over and over again, is to be prepared, get organised and make a plan.

This is something I always wondered about people, if they consciously speak to him into their lives. Do they make a move with him or without him.

When you know him, when you know his power and what he can do, when everything is working the right way, out in your life.

Trusting him all the time, speaking to him, to the world might seem nuts. But when you know, you know.

I see people and I see such a whole in their life, I see such a vast gap, like a darkness or void in their eyes and when they speak it just seems so empty.

Having him in my life it feels so full, I am never alone, always feeling a warmth around me.

Living with him in my life is awesome, I am filled with joy, for example, yesterday I had to have blood drawn. The room was full, but no one spoke, everyone looked miserable, I was wearing a t-shirt with Yahweh our very breath says his name on it.

Someone took two numbers, so I piped up and mentioned it, then I started talking, spreading joy. The next lady was called and I jokingly said, “Bingo”. They all laughed and I mentioned how someone had said I was embarrassing and I commented, no no I am just funny. Then I followed up with, if I bring joy to your day, that makes me happy.

As each one of us went in and it was my time, I came out saying goodbye to the lady who was next to me and then said, “everyone have a lovely day” they all responded. See how easy it is to share, JOY, his joy inside you.

That could change a heart, change a life or just make someone’s day and to me, that’s worth it.

So, walk with him, not without him. Share his joy, share his blessings when instructed and live a life, the way he wants for you.

And don’t forget to smile…