I treasure a simple gift, so deeply…

Yesterday my Landlords dropped off a card with a gift voucher in it.

What touched my heart, was she grew a plant off one from her mothers garden.

Now when your parents pass, especially when you have struggled in the journey and you wish with all your heart that they knew. Just how much you really loved them, when I love, I love with everything I have.

So I deeply felt such a gift given and was so very beautiful, to think of passing something simple from her mother to me and sharing part of her memories in this one little act.

It does not matter what it is, its the love given behind it that I treasure. I have a card and everyone wrote something, I treasure that, I sit here in tears. When you never really had someone who loved you for just being you, and now they do.

It really touches my heart and makes me treasure the thought behind the sentiment.

Don’t tell anyone but I am a very sentimental person, and when I give, I give love.

Advertisements

I realised I can come across as confusing…my husband needs to know

The other night the Lord showed me, my response to things are not what is expected and that others cant take as the real response, the following is why I need help.

No, Na, Nope, now this may seem a bit daft to begin with but really people, don’t understand what I am getting at.

  1. No is the solid form meaning: not gonna happen. Or I am freaking out and better to say no, but you may need to chat more to find out why.
  2. Na is the meaning: thinking maybe yes, need more info before I confirm the outcome. Possibility is there always.
  3. Nope meaning: Maybe I did maybe I did not, I might be trying to be funny.

In all this I try very hard, but after years of finding the word NO, its really hard to flip that switch.

My concern is my hubby when he walks up to me, for a date. Oh lord your gonna have to help here. You see I get very embarrassed and nervous, so my instant reaction is NO, save myself from the first date, first kiss and getting to know me, it really freaks me out.

I am very worth the bother (I finally know my value), ask the father he knows. But I wish I could just go too, hi how about we get hitched, and find out after that, if the Lord shows us then who are we to question. I am very private when it comes to this, you ask me out in front of people I know, its gonna be a NO or I will make a joke to try and hide my reaction. I want the process to be private, so no body is hurt. I was never one to want to hold hands, kiss in public or have a cute name, its between me and them.

Going out, how hard is that, well allergies, motion sickness, nervous stomach are not good at all, omg too personal to share. I like to chat about interesting subjects or even my veggie patch, things of interest, and when I am nervous I talk fast (Oh lord the more I think about it, I am sitting here getting nervous). Its an inbuilt form of protection that sometimes I am not aware that I am doing till later. But Lord let my hubby know, I am a treasure worth the effort, and getting to really know me, will be surprising and valuable. If he gets a no, try again, find out why, is it really a no or am I having a panic attack.

Being very cheeky and dry sense of humour, the hardest thing is controlling myself, as I do not want to appear as if I am flirting. I don’t think I know how to flirt anyway, I always thought I was just being friendly, I would have no idea if someone was interested anyway, it takes a person to walk up and say, I am interested in dating you, I am totally oblivious. I think because as my body matured, at the time I really needed a true friend, someone to share my heart with, and I missed the knowledge of finding out someone is interested in me.

The main problem is I never felt really good enough about myself, so in my head, why would they want to be with me, must be just sex they want (before I surrendered to the Lord’s way). But coming through it all and finding my worth finally, he needs to really make the effort and it has to come from him as I would never ask anyone out, not gonna happen.

Sometimes people have thought I had feeling towards someone, instead I felt protective as a sister or friend, people don’t really know me when it comes to this.

I don’t want any of my feelings to come forward, until the father says, he is the one. Then I will sit back and go quiet, sounds a miracle I know, but I am a thinker. I go away think about it all, before I make the final decision, I do not rush into anything, wisdom has to rule here. I want to be sure, I have not only my children to consider but my journey in Christ.

I am sticking to this motto : I believe he gives you what you need, not what you want.

I am inspired & happy

Today, I had a visitor and when she left I became inspired thinking about last week. I am inspired, but waiting on the Lord to show me the way, I will not make a move without him.

That’s the key to it all, its his way, his plan for my life. So Lord come on, I am excited, being a great thinker, you have no idea, my brain never stops, which I will count as a blessing.

In my mind, I think of things like, what recipe I can tweek, or see a fabric or rummage in a cupboard and pull out something and think, its time to put something together, invent or be miss fix it. I draw plans for houses or garden design, you name it, I have an idea. You see, when I was a child we didn’t have much, but had fun making something out of nothing, you figured out how things worked.

Trips to the tip, yes the garbage dump could be real fun, or mum made it seem that way, if someone was coming in, make out your unloading, what you just loaded. Its all about the way you see things, if someone threw out a good piece of furniture, home we would go, it would be brought back and given love or handy in the shed for tools. Old jumpers or bits of things, mum would wash them clean, un-pull them, make either another top, blanket or something handy. Waste is just your point of view, you do not need to appear like a hippy if you are fugal (or have wisdom).

I remember a blanket that we all had to produce a square of knitting and mum made it fit, I loved that blanket, why, because it was made like Joseph’s coat of many colours, that was made and no one had another like it. I know 101 ways to use most things and just because it doesn’t have a fancy brand connected too it. Who cares, everything I do is done with love and if its a crochet blanket, I pray that whom ever owns it, is blessed.

We need to stop thinking the world’s way, and put the Lords into practice. I do not want or need a Mercedes Benz, I do not have to be clothed in Versace or Chanel. I am who I am, the apple of my fathers eye, why waste his finance on material things (that can never fill the void) I can save, buying something that does the same thing and bling it up.

I sometimes think that some people need the items, because they do not know who they really are, but want an appearance that is acceptable to those around them. So they can feel valuable, its such a shame that its all an illusion.

Having the Lord as your father is such a blessing, you have a cup that runeth over with love. You never have to strive or desire, he gives you all that you need and desire. Having a value worth zillion’s is my most precious gift of all…

Please be blessed.

I love the simple things…

I love making a jam for someone, or making do with what I have, or making something out of abundance.

Lately I have been trying to figure out a fruit cake recipe that would be modernised but not have orange peel and cherries, yeuk.

So here I am on my third, I research and look at many recipes before I start trying it out. Seriously, I need my husband to turn up, but I do have great fun, doing what I call improvements.

As a child the simple things were treasured, recipes were lost but I am determined to find my way and as we have forgotten true flavour, I am determined to bring it back.

The best ingredient of all in anything I do is put the LOVE in. I show love in growing things for people or giving them something they may have mentioned, if I can and it warms the fuzzy’s in me and makes my spirit fly.

Strawberry Jam is a hit, lemon marmalade, yummo, now if only I could make the fruit cake right, I will have won for this year.

And if I do not get a chance, thank you for being you and I hope something I shared was a benefit to your life with our father…

Things needed to be faced

I have always had this thing over my life, making me feel I could never step up and do anything special or take a chance. And always a cloud of never open Pandora’s box.

You see, I knew there were things that were secret or not spoken of.

But on Wednesday I felt very sad, didn’t know why.. But went to church, our wonderful Pastor took us into the courts, to face what has been a burden on our lives.

I personally have been tired of carrying something, that was from my forefathers.

So, I stood in the courts, my father was very concerned about me, I said to him, “Lord I have to be brave enough to face this, it is OK”.

Wham, the accuser came in full throttle and with so much force, but what got me was the snippets of pictures. I stood agreed with him, repented for myself and who had come before me.

What hit me was, it was this that was causing so much wrong in my own children. I started to gasp and sob, it really struck me, I try to make out I am so tough, but this hit me full on. I know others tried to comfort me, but I needed to remove myself. (I was brought up tears were a sign of weakness, so I was a bit embarrassed and really all I needed was to be held.)

I was prayed for, washed myself off and came back thinking, right that’s done, what’s next? I know I am the one to break the mould, the familiar over my family, so I will face it all, for my children and their children.

With great impact it has been broken, and I know the box is gone. Now I feel like I can do anything, but the question now is what exactly.

Lord please show me what to do, what direction to go in, I need to set the right course in business and life… Amen

 

What being diligent gets you…

After my operation, I have been reading my healing scriptures and my declaration, and then a chapter in the Bible each day.

The Lord has been speaking to me loud and clear about something very key to me.

In the world you think of inheritance and your family or parents leaving you something, I missed out, the enemy needs to repay me on this. If he is found, HE MUST restore.

Now in the Lord he does things differently, its like when he says a covering, does not mean you need to cover your head. He is saying he will cover you, when you do what he instructs.

Again with inheritance, what did Jesus inherit from HIS father, the kingdom when he DILIGENTLY did what he was instructed and his destiny was to fulfil for us included.

So my dad showed me this, when I diligently seek him, put my time aside for him. He will give me the inheritance, that I have worked for, diligently. So as I keep doing what he has instructed, he will then give me the desires of my heart, He will add to me.

Its not financial, its so much more than that, get your mind off the money or material things, know this it is a seat with him…

Thank you father for showing me this key, when it comes time for me, I will live eternally with you in heaven.

My daughter is falling in love

My daughter has been the most challenging of my children thus far. But she sent me a txt and it said, Hi mum I am out and in love with our Lord and Savior.

Yes my darling child had to be stopped and locked up for a time, what did I do, let her come to the end of herself and said the Lord was the only one who could be there for her in the end.

Now this was extremely hard once upon a time, but not when you trust him, knowing full well that because of the work that my mother did before she died, then put into place my place with the father, and my work and desire for him will carry onto her. We are very strong women who need to run out of the WE factor and get to the point of, I want for him alone, then he can build on us. The ground work needs to be done right, laying that solid foundation, now he can erect what he chooses for my life and hers.

I pray these words are very true, for time is running out and the end time is here, so when we are challenged we have to stand strong for him against those who will be used by the enemy.

I see this road my daughter chose as her training and her mandate is to speak to the young so they don’t repeat her history, she will have the experience that will turn those around, I know it for sure. To find there place in the journey with our father, for he is waiting with love for all….