Today is a new day…

All day, its been different.

It took me until after breakfast to realise what it was. I thought, I don’t feel the same.

It has been weird but in a good way, a new way of learning who I am in his eyes.

The greatest gift was when he tucked me in.

All I do is, trust him, talk to him as my friend and dad. He knows that, I ask for something but its always up to him, whether I need it or he sees that its right to give to me.

And that is the way its suppose to be.

Being tenacious, has served me well, what the enemy tried against me. Has built one strong women, who loves her dad.

So he looses again, yahoo.

This rose is opening up, and the full bloom will be well worth it.


Chapter 10

 Now stay with me, this should all make sense at the end. I find I go around and circle sometimes come back and it all fits.

I chose the Dark Cloud, because for 52 yrs I lived in one, so to me the heading seemed somehow, familiar.

This book and the Melchizedek one has given me, tools & I feel gifts yet to come, things beyond anything else that has been, before.

Before I started to read, I prayed that I would get it and it became so easy. My large head finally came to good use.

Before these books, I prayed to him, I felt there was something more and I got it answered. I have times when I can feel it, in the spirit, something going on.

In the chapter about the Dark Cloud, the book speaks about Building tenderness between God and me, and dying to flesh, I know that when you get hurt, the flesh can scream. So face death, head on.

But that is such a key, taking it on and winning, how, by The purposeful pursuit of the presence of God, which needs to be your single desire.

I cannot express what it’s like to always live and be condemned, from just breathing to anything above; I had existed, but felt not been part of the living.

Once condemnation was broken last year, exactly a year yesterday, the light was turned on. I felt and knew this was a large step, so tick.

I have mental ticks, steps and a data base, it’s busy up here.

I read that, you have fellowship in the light, I believe you have to have understanding why people don’t get it, I felt I had experienced both sides. So to me this makes sense.

But then you have to be pure and how to do that is, by the Blood of Jesus Christ.

That’s when the light gets turned on, you then know the truth. “that love really starts at the cross” you have got too ask for his help, and nail all your rubbish to the cross even the muck.

I desire God, because putting it simply, he’s my Dad. And when you finally have one, you want to do everything in your power, to honour that.

The book says, it’s not about a spiritual experience, it’s not about having a spiritual experience. Because chasing a spiritual experience is just that, a split second, then nothing.

It is about your desire, to encounter God, which then creates the atmosphere for a spiritual experience.

YOU NEED TO CHASE THE PERSON OF GOD. This is something I always thought, it’s like when you’re a parent, your children see you as just mum, but what about who I am.

It’s the same with him, the book just backed up what I thought to be right.

I take each step and look at the message, then read the message behind it. What does God want me to understand here?

Not, engaging the realm of heaven, but engaging the kingdom, they are different but you need to make sure you take the steps to get to where, he needs us to be.

I have heard for many years and I am so humbled by what Jesus did for me.

I remember watching The Passion and whaling like a broken child, I remember crying out saying, I am so sorry Lord, it’s so true, they did not know what they did.

But always in my mind, I kept thinking about my father GOD, he made heaven and earth, with all that is in it.

He gave his son, for us, and it seems over time we have forgotten the raw magnitude of what has been done.

Over time we have watered down, the power of what was done and we need to get it back.

The book, also spoke about using pain, as a springboard to drive you to God and to engage God.

If you have never lived with fear and terror as part of your life or felt safe, you will never understand how much easier it feels to face it. Because you get him on the other side, so it’s win. win.

Trust, when you choose him and ask for his help and trust yourself in his hands, miracles will happen.

“But you must wait, wait for him, he knows the right time and season to make the most impact.” That is what I got strongly from this.

I am so grateful for what has been done for me; every step is another lesson learned, and I make sure I am paying attention, as I read he brings things to my remembrance or even shows me something new.

But I remember his word, for he knew me before I was in my mother’s womb.

When I read, he made me for HIS purpose, not mine, and knowing within me, that no one is more important.

I use to question in my mind why we couldn’t see God, I heard someone say I would die. For some reason, it never seemed like a bad outcome, you get to go home.

The book speaks about the veil of darkness, the terror and horror and physically wetting himself, then stating that’s what washing machines are for anyway.

Knowing that fear is used to hold you, to shut you down and shut you up. It’s just an illusion, facing it gives you, freedom.

I am not going to lie down and take it. I am going to use what he gives me.

I am who I am, because I have seen his work in my life. What was used against me has built a tenacity I cannot express.

This passion rising within and getting stronger with each page, I know now that I have nothing to be afraid of anymore, and I cannot remain silent.

God is calling, calling for you & I to be a son or daughter in the house, a child honours there parent, and honouring him, not just as the Alpha and Omega, but the person he is.

Since reading the realms, and living a life of fear previously, I believe I am being tested, to deal with what is still there, but to see if I am going to honour what I have said to him.

Things which are happening, I have seen a room, heard a name, demons and the smell, father says to me FEAR NOT, ok, repeat in my head, Jesus is my brother and I have the love of the Lord.

Again another name, this time eyes open, but ears shut, repeat, the love for the Lord, he is king of kings is my father god.

Yesterday, I had a vision/dream told were going to the 1000 floor, the floor was clear of the elevator, oh and no walls.

OMG the funny thing, I really don’t like heights. And I was prepared,

I had with me, one of my brown towels, encase I vomited or wet myself.

Got to the top, floor swaying, the elevator was on the outside of the building, I couldn’t get off, I said, send me back down to floor 450 give me a second, and I will try again.

What I saw with that, was my willingness to face the fear, but to also try again, when I failed.

Things are taking place, once I read about the Veil, I said out Loud, father God I am coming, don’t know when, but I AM COMING.

When it comes to an activation, I get myself ready and shout out, RIGHT. Like I am about to take hold & giving myself over to totally believing everything I am saying.

When I read page 163, I lost it, I cried over and over each time I read what  he wrote “I heard this drip drip drip, it was God crying, he said, it’s been a long time since anyone has been here, son.

The thought of God crying because no one, has got out of their own way and truly put him first, somehow stops me with a WHY.

Well I say, what more do you need, if you love him, if you have the desire, then use it to get to him, I WILL SEE YOU THERE…


Last night I had to speak, so I gave my heart over, the word before. Backed up what I was about to do and say.

I prayed and asked for impact, I stepped forward without fear.

What did I get?

When I was younger, I locked my heart up, to keep myself safe. If they could not get to it.

Then I could go on, I was going to be OK, regardless of what went on.

But I could not unlock it, the rusty lock from such a long time ago. I got stuck, but in my mind, it was a desire.

After I spoke, I came home went to bed, and it was like a dad tucking me in with a big smile on his face.

When I woke this morning, my heart was open..

Never, give up believing in what he can do, his timing is perfect.

Happiness and truth

Its funny but the simple things can bring you great happiness. Last night I was chatting to the girls and I was telling them about what’s been going on.

I said, “I want to see you, I have a right to see you”. Well be ready what you ask for, I have been seeing flashes, like a camera flash going off. Anywhere I go, the truth is keeping it simple.

Just let go of everything else that you think is important and stop thinking, just be.

All things will fall into place, for the right time and season is now…


Some times you may not understand what I post, and that is ok.

But opening up to the possibility is key. You need to know the stairs that you go up, mine are glass and ping every time I step up, just like an elevator.

I want to see my dad, I want to spend time in the garden, east of eden. I want to prune roses and chat to him.

One piece from the book, I saw god his skin, was like facets of diamond and fire, I heard this drip, drip, drip, drip, drip it was tears from his eyes.

He said, Its been a long time since anyone has been here, son.

What are you waiting for, if you love him, then serve him.

I am going in…

I have the key to healing and I am going in.

The book I have been reading, you read then you get the revelation. Well I got it, yesterday I felt to step into the river.

There is a river of glory which flows from the throne of God our father, Jesus is there. But the tree of life, the tree of healing is beside the river and the leaves in it’s flowing water is their to heal.

I felt to step forward, but I held back, I thought it was for everyone. But no, I delayed and missed that one. But I am going again when the opportunity arises.

I keep believing and his word I believe. Hes my dad and he would not let me down, he wants to give it, I want to receive it.

So when I see this beautiful golden water, I go in, now I see big rocks of diamonds, I have seen the water fall. Soon I am going to get it because I will not take no for an answer.

I feel my tenacity rising, for he wants me to have the desires of my heart. He knows them, and I am ready to receive them.

I am calling in the Harvest everyday… stay tuned.