I love chocolate… I know the best, the bitter and the sweet

We have a brand called OLD GOLD, its a dark chocolate as the milk in other gives me pain and xxxx.

So, I found Old Gold with orange, YUM but now they stopped making it.

When you have allergies, your limited and when you find something, your ecstatic, so when they take it away all you think is, I need to buy every single one… but not an option.

I am not as bad as I use to be, but something is wonderful, when you can sleep so soundly and feel happy, that every bit is just yummy to your soul.

Its colour and depth is something I love, because it reminds me, that its colour is important, but people I see us as all the same, because I see how my father sees. We live on the same planet, our uniqueness is our personality and love of him, that’s were we are the same, love.

I am unique, but part of him, so I am the same, just a different part.

So when it comes to colour’s of chocolate, whether dark, semi dark, milk, white or ruby. The lord sees me, he sees what is important, my heart and the love that I have for him.

A love, beyond chocolate…



Now the reason for this heading is this, I am when it comes to him…

Today I was at the chemist with a friend, we were getting the specials and I needed my liquid soap.

I pointed it out to my friend and said to her, see the brand one is $20 and mine is $3.39 and it is better and gave the example, same as when you have a Mercedes or BMW your paying for the brand name, not how it works for you.

A lady piped in and said, “you must be very rich”. I replied with, “no just smart”, then I said to my friend, “I should have said, YES, because I am rich in spirit”.

Being rich is not about finance or how your presented, its about YOU, if I am rich in spirit and have riches with my father, then why am I not considered so.

It is all about how you view it, I AM RICH, but I am also logical, practical and smarter than most of the world because of my relationship with my dad.

I am buzzing today, something is happening, something big…

His love is never ending

How I am overwhelmed by his love, time and time again.

You see, I have been on a roller coaster called life. As I have said before, “when I go quiet, I have been dealing with things”.

But all in all, his love keeps me.

It comforts me, it covers me, it does all and more, for me.

Recently I had to vote, and I wanted to cry, someone said the world is wanting the man, not the one god chooses and I keep thinking, how blind are those in the world.

The world is in for a shock, my mum always voted liberal, I am the same, but what it comes down to it is this, what do they do, not what they promise to do. It is like a gift, its not the biggest or the one wrapped the best, it’s the gift inside, you have to see, that truth, that reality.

In life your given a cross road, a choice to make, and it comes about, to decide your end.

Someone recently said about certain people saying, there is no hell. I came in with this, does it not say, “Jesus went and took the keys back from hell”, and when he says, “depart from me, for I never knew you” on judgement day, where the hell, do you think, they end up.

You see so many, have an experience with the father and then go off track, I said to the same person about my experience when I was young, this happened just after I heard my father’s voice, for the first time.

I was in that same paddock and I heard an Indian accent, which said this to me, “I will make you famous, if you give me your soul”, I quickly said, “NO”. Why, because I knew the value of what I had experienced, you hear people say to write a book, but who are you writing it for.

Your fame, your recognition, your finances?

To say, they know no child these days that would, say no to fame. But I found, the hell I lived in, I knew that when you get something wonderful, nothing compares, NOTHING.

So when I see young singers, I see sadness, they have so called friends, who are they really, if you had no money and really needed them, would they be there, with truth.

I often think, they would not, so instead of the world, I chose my father, because that choice as a child, that I made.

It is my most treasured possession, to nurture and grow…

The truth will set you free

My father has been bringing remembrance of things done against me and my children.

One thing that has recently stuck in my craw is this, my sons name.

When I was pregnant, my mother talked with regret about how she wanted to use a certain name for a boy, I knew a little about her past and how she suffered abuse, over and over.

I liked the name and knew I would use it, to bless her and bring her comfort and she loved my son. Then I had to choose the middle name, now my mother’s first child was killed by a repeat drunk driver, her loss never left, when it showed, my heart hurt for her.

Every year on that date, my mum and his best friend, shared the time together and it never hit me, until I asked why, he only turned up once a year.

So when my son was about to be born, I asked my mum if it was OK. I remember the happiness in her voice, I did ask her about his sisters response, my mum use to be really blunt and her statement was this, “It is none of her damn business, he was MY son, she thinks that she can rule over everyone, well this is my decision and use it” I even asked about his first name and using that. I remember her saying, that which ever I chose would be OK and that the fact I asked, why I chose his names was respectful and she appreciated it.

But my son, will not use his middle name, why because of that someone, who gets in your head to make them feel superior and you less than and gets you thinking they are right and your wrong.

Well, this is the truth and I put it in print:

(Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.)

I know who reads this, and its time for me to stand…

The realization of a gift

The other night I was watching Masterchef Australia, one thing the guest chef said was this, “someone who uses their hands, mind and heart is a true artist”. And he can count on one hand, a few true artists he knows.

And I was driving a friend around yesterday, I was telling her this, she told me that, that was my gift, I was a true artist.

When I do something, I use all I have, I am always saying to people of this world, I am very practical and logical, because they could never understand or come close to know, how I function.

As I have said before, when I look at my hands, I see my mothers, I remember the way she would touch something as she cooked and prepared. How when knitting how key movements showed, how she was thinking etc.

When I worked in admin, and this little word does not come close to what I achieved. I could pull on my heart, my empathy, my head being able to plan something front to back, back to front and use my hands, when I painted a painting to put into the boardroom to save money for the office.

I remember many times surprising my boss, but many times he did not know the many ideas were from me, because others didn’t share that information. My gift was always in my mind from my father, the one, the only, because he knew that I was learning to do admin for him, which I do as required.

Many times my thoughts are taken back, why because I think he wants me to realize, I had them all along, I just didn’t think my voice would be heard or anyone would notice the artist in me.

I have a many gifts, inventions, ideas, because I am my fathers daughter. My access is abounding, because of his love for me, surprising myself and others all the time.

But finally accepting, that I can stand up, for my voice to be heard and now I want to find a way, to use my gifts to come out of financial hardship and into abundance.

Never forgetting, that it is from him and for him…

How you must keep listening

Last week I had to put my cat down, he was 14 years and 8 months.

What struck me was city a vet is very concerned, I was concerned because of the urgency, because of his pain. And yes I stayed there and patted him until he had gone, so I was the last smell and gave him comfort, it was very quick and I cried but I am also very practical when it comes to these things.

I have been talking with the Lord on and off, because something was bugging me and I had to go quiet and get through it. I was doing the absolute minimal, why because someone said something and it didn’t sit well with me.

As a child I heard things differently and sometimes still do, my mum use to ask me at times what did I hear, because of a certain look on my face. I remember after that time I was broken and first heard his audible voice, things are not as they seem to be. And he was my father from that day forth, it put a knowing in me, that he was my friend and father.

When people talk, I hear a broken sentence, I hear the words they are not speaking and I see the light shine on poignant keys to the truth. It is not like I am putting any words in their mouth, I am just seeing the tree, not the leaves or the bush, as the saying goes.

I watch birds, animals, my garden and it all in a way, talk, but what I keep yelling in my head is? Are we listening, I have heard trees clap, not all at once but as I have moved past them, it is like they have joined in.

The Lord has been showing me, people who have used me and how I let them get away with it, I was reading the bible and it was like the words, became a loud voice over the speaker, “vengeance is mine”. I know anything I say, will only fuel the fire, so instead I leave it to him. Because when it is right, he will bring justice.

I was also reading and read about wisdom and understanding, “call wisdom your sister and understanding your kin”. This little sentence or statement brought me so much love to my heart, that I physically felt it. Because I know, that a sister such as wisdom is not out to harm me, but will do everything for me, with pure love.

Sometimes we listen with our ears, sometimes with our eyes, sometimes with our hearts and spirit. But what keeps me here, is to keep going, I am honest enough to say, I lack motivation.

But, as the song lyrics say, “your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me” and even through it all, he has been the one to bring me through and its all done with love.

So, if you need a moment, always remember to stay in, even if its with a toe and know, nothing happens in your life without him there. Even as we may stumble, he lets it happen, because he has seen our life, a life which he gave us, so finish well and know your blessed.