Last week I had to put my cat down, he was 14 years and 8 months.
What struck me was city a vet is very concerned, I was concerned because of the urgency, because of his pain. And yes I stayed there and patted him until he had gone, so I was the last smell and gave him comfort, it was very quick and I cried but I am also very practical when it comes to these things.
I have been talking with the Lord on and off, because something was bugging me and I had to go quiet and get through it. I was doing the absolute minimal, why because someone said something and it didn’t sit well with me.
As a child I heard things differently and sometimes still do, my mum use to ask me at times what did I hear, because of a certain look on my face. I remember after that time I was broken and first heard his audible voice, things are not as they seem to be. And he was my father from that day forth, it put a knowing in me, that he was my friend and father.
When people talk, I hear a broken sentence, I hear the words they are not speaking and I see the light shine on poignant keys to the truth. It is not like I am putting any words in their mouth, I am just seeing the tree, not the leaves or the bush, as the saying goes.
I watch birds, animals, my garden and it all in a way, talk, but what I keep yelling in my head is? Are we listening, I have heard trees clap, not all at once but as I have moved past them, it is like they have joined in.
The Lord has been showing me, people who have used me and how I let them get away with it, I was reading the bible and it was like the words, became a loud voice over the speaker, “vengeance is mine”. I know anything I say, will only fuel the fire, so instead I leave it to him. Because when it is right, he will bring justice.
I was also reading and read about wisdom and understanding, “call wisdom your sister and understanding your kin”. This little sentence or statement brought me so much love to my heart, that I physically felt it. Because I know, that a sister such as wisdom is not out to harm me, but will do everything for me, with pure love.
Sometimes we listen with our ears, sometimes with our eyes, sometimes with our hearts and spirit. But what keeps me here, is to keep going, I am honest enough to say, I lack motivation.
But, as the song lyrics say, “your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me” and even through it all, he has been the one to bring me through and its all done with love.
So, if you need a moment, always remember to stay in, even if its with a toe and know, nothing happens in your life without him there. Even as we may stumble, he lets it happen, because he has seen our life, a life which he gave us, so finish well and know your blessed.