Bringing things forward

It always amazes me, when he brings thoughts to your mind & life shows you its time to speak up.

Many thoughts recently have been to do with my son, how he would try and be smart a, or cheeky to get his own way. And because my daughter was so full on, I missed the boat on correction.

I remember many years ago, he made a comment about, once he went back to the country how he expected me to follow, like a submissive sheep.

That comment played on my mind, who does he think he is, for one. How does he see me, what got me was he didn’t see me as a person, but an unworthy thing.

Now this thought brought on a lot of heat, because the word says, “no good man, should be without a woman” remember this line. So talking about all male ruled churches, and the secrets that have caused children, unwed mothers so much pain, even now.

So, when I keep thinking, are there, NO GOOD MEN, or are they hiding behind their skirts. I am not putting all in one basket here, but think about it. They stand on the word, as a convenience, but do not live the word.

And the word is all the world sees, what has got me as a woman and I will roar is this. Men have made the rules, that if we stand up for ourselves, we are emotional, erratic etc etc. Well men, I don’t see you strong enough or chosen to give birth, deal with life and still be a woman with dignity ETC.

I go back to Adam and Eve, she got the blame, WHY, but he stood there as well, he tried the forbidden fruit, as well didn’t he.

I think about the grand architect of my life, yes I refer to him as a he, but I believe he is neither, thinking of the earthly form, he is much more, than we could ever wrap our heads around, so why try.

I see good traits in both men and women, who are a cut above the others and work really well together, to keep each other on track, and you need it. Someone famous said something sensible once, the reporter was asking about a good marriage, he said “I married my conscience” he married someone to keep him in check, but also someone who complimented his good traits.

If I brought those to justice, who have wronged me, I would have to go through the mill, so I choose to leave it to God. Because I know, in the world, instead feeling I have lost, before anything has begun, because I am female and the first thing, as I was told by my accuser, you did it, its your fault.

And this again, has played on my mind, going back to thoughts of my mother, she copped a lot, because she searched for honest love and did not find it and was a victim instead.

I am one that would stand up, but what has got me is, how through time we have been considered weaker, because we are physically or emotionally not equal.

Who says, I am not emotionally equal or even superior, now don’t take this as a big head statement, just putting it forth.

When you give birth, if that don’t give you power, nothing will, with my son I only had gas, with my daughter, I only had one injection for my lower back. Because I knew, once that pain hit, what I had to do, so I embraced it, worked with it and out they came.

I believe we all have traits that are a blessing, we have strengths and weakness’s, but why are we so hell bent on pin pointing our sex. Why is it such a factor, why can we not just be the person we are.

When I worked in the city, I was the fat, old christian at the front desk, who was a laugh, someone to poke fun at and run down. Really, I stood back and let my father do his correction, and time and time again he did.

But only once did the boss really see me, as he went past me, he said “your not as dumb as you make out”, that has stuck in my memory. Why, because for a split second he saw me, not my weight or gender or anything else, he saw me. And yes I played up to it, because I thought to myself, if they want it, then play their game, they think there superior, but not really, just unintelligent on reality.

So, if ‘no good man should be without a good woman’, why does the world think, they have it right.

Instead of what the father sees, just ME.

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