I say this statement will all my heart holds.

God is so very good, so very good to me and I love him with my whole heart for it and the journey I have been on.

He is brilliant, he is a comfort a guide and my dad all in one.

Love him and see what he does, and remember training is not a burden, it’s a lesson you have learn.

It is funny how when you think about something and question yourself, how he hears you.

Last week I had to make an accounting appointment. And I stated about the issue that “I didn’t know what to do, but I had to do something”.

Then two night later that same statement came up on a movie “the book club 2”. I nearly rose to my feet in a cheer, to me this is him saying, you did it right.

This is very important because all might life those who should have been supporting and just loving me, were out to destroy me. So, I question myself many times, but this is getting fewer. Why I am learning faster, that my decisions are on point and that gives me a power and authority, with confidence.

I haven’t been posting as much as I felt I needed too, because I had to deal with an issue, but finally I am putting myself first and this has been very very enlightening.

It is not that God is not the very first on my list, but when it comes to others and how draining they have been, I had to cut the cord and say to myself enough.

God is always first and then me, it is about time and I am not one bit guilty, which if you knew me is miraculous.

Has anyone seen the shorts of Mike Mageles, he is a devoted young man and when its required, God uses him to send a message and I love that.

I am still clearing things out, it’s hard because I feel totally exhausted, but I know why and little by little I am coming out of it, to remove all the excess…

My space will be used for me and not anything that is not needed, what a revelation.

It always still amazes me when he aligns things I have been thinking about or praying for.

Feeling like you have been heard and seen is truly a gift, because many people don’t do this. They may talk at you, instead of to you. They may need to get something off their chest, but rarely sit and hear you.

I am one who cuts things into sections, because then you’re hearing and seeing things, for example when you listening to someone, are you hearing what they are saying or just listening.

Do you get the message or has it gone through one ear and out the other. Have you heard their cry or are you so busy, you miss the life right in front of you.

I find when I need something or if I have an expectation, it aligns at the right time and in his right season. I feel so loved and seen when this happens and I love him more for it.

Recently I had to go hard, not because I wanted to be mean but because for the first time in my life, I had to choose me first. This is a big thing for me, because I have always felt I needed to be ready for when people needed me, but no one of those where there for me, except that one and only God’s gorgeous red head. So, I made the decision and now I am getting rid of things, because I want my life, set for me.

I want to be available more for him, I need the space to enjoy what I enjoy doing. And for that I need to sell and rid myself of the excess, I have already made deliveries to the local op shops. But I need to rid myself of beds, yes, I need just mine and have the spare rooms cleared so I can reorganise and just keep what I need.

This is a big decision on my part, but I need to stop just existing and motivate the spaces to be used for me. I have trouble doing certain things because of my back and knees but having all this stuff is getting to me, so out she goes. I am over the just encase scenario, for the amount of people that now don’t stay for a visit, well why keep something others can use.

If he is aligning me to clear out, clear up and set myself up, then I am on board. Its overdue and I already have another back seat full of clothes etc to go.

It’s another form of weight loss that I am on board about. Because as another thing goes, I feel so much lighter.

Now this is something I am always mystified about, I see many people being responsive to emotion.

Yes, they get revved up and wham, an emotional response that causes problems, not only to you but those around you.

Many moons ago I worked this out, that many will automatically respond and it is not always good.

Then I thought about myself, how I had reacted in situations that could have been handled better.

So, when you know you know and I get this image of my hand picking up and sitting emotion to the side, because it does me no good.

So many times, this has saved me, it’s like when I hear someone speak, in my head I have cut the words into sentences, and I see what others may have missed. Keys to the conversation that no one else seems to hear. This information has shocked many, because as they talk, they miss what they are saying, the answer they are looking for and for me, the lies I pick up on.

You see, I grew up with a dad who was a compulsive liar, abusive, violent and nuts. I saw the effect he had on not just mum but me and others. What shocked me was how different he was outside the house, it was like a switch.

Coming from all that, having a pedophile as a sibling, a gas lighting narcissist etc, this showed me what I did not want to be and then I realised, I had the power to choose. Just like you, to choose the real father, the one and only.

When you think you have no one, these choices of mine have been extremely powerful.

I am no saint, but I stand on these facts, I have surrendered, all of me. I will be kind, I will show empathy, respect, honour and truth. And I will speak it even if those around me don’t like to hear it.

And in that when I struggle, he gives me answers, he hears my spirit and shows me that my overall decisions are correct to him. In that I find grace, I find love, I find peace.