Wow have I had to find another level

Over the past time I have had to find another level and I also had to curl up and shut down a little.

My child is back to adjusting my depth of sadness for her girls.

Being a mum and most of it I was single because the dad didn’t care. I was brought up and I admit, most of my normal, was not that normal at all.

So I did the best at the time I knew what to do, but being on my own. When she goes off course, it hits hard and I am sharing this because I am human. If I can help anyone, I will share my heart.

I wanted desperately to have a relationship like you see others having, but something she wrote “you need me, like I need you”.

Growing up, I had no one to stand up for me, to support my emotional state, to know they loved me and it would never COST me anything.

But I did not, until the Lord spoke to me, so when I read this, it brought me back. I depend on him, I need him, she has to find that out for herself.  And in the meantime, everything I do, is building the place for the next generations after me.

Last night, for I think the first time, I really stepped forward within my heart, wanting my hubby to come and be that support. As I said last night, I have been ripped off in so many ways by the enemy and I want it restored NOW.

Its time, time to start a life, I was destined to live and it starts now.

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