Since condemnation has been removed, its like I have awakened, not knowing that I was even asleep.

Before, you have no idea, my head kept me hiding from day to day activities. A simple trip to the shop, would take a lot of mental effort to plan where I would go and what I would do.

Normally, I would pick something plain, because I would say to myself, pretty stuff is for others, not me.

The other day I saw a doona cover, it was pink and had big flowers on it, now to many this would not seem anything big. But its like, I am learning about the new me, the hidden me that I never knew before.

I feel like a rose, that was in a hard, closed down bud, but now I have bloomed and its the most beautiful feeling.

This could not have happened if it was not for my trust in the father, I said to him many times, I know it will hurt at the time, but it needs to be done. So when you feel its right, please, I give you authority to do, what needs to be done.

And how wonderful is he, to know I had come to the end of what I could tolerate inside and give him full rein.