I was about to leave this page when I got these words.

Signs and wonders will follow those who believe.

There is evidence of his blood, still alive after all this time.

Signs, wonders for scientist who cannot fathom the truth.

Evidence in your belief to expect what you have prayed for.

I have the knowledge when the world tries to remove you, two more will take your place.

And the world is looking, and soon will see.

I am excited to see all kingdoms fall, and the one and only arise.

You see nations trying to control their people, but instead why not see themselves as custodians of grace.

I remember seeing a cartoon once where this nut, wanted to take over the world.

Control is an illusion, this is the truth.

The world was created by God, then he created Adam and Eve for them to do his will over the earth.

Not someone who has lost the plot and sees themselves as a king, There is only one, the Alpha and Omega, the one and only, build your nation on good, not evil thoughts.

Do good for the planet, we only have one, and stop abusing it along with your people. Brain washing does not give you power, but shows your weakness.

I know who has the ultimate power and that is my father, he knows my end date, he knows my plan, he knows me and I have free will, for he will not push me, but he will steer me if I ask for his help.

In that, lye’s the difference, for those without freedom of speech, you have freedom of belief, belief in Christ. And remember your end is the only important thing, no one can take that from you or kill it.

Those who are murdering Christians, to try and destroy Christ, evidence shows he was here, he still lives and this earth is his, so I would not mess with something so great (and more will fill their space, killing them only strengthens the reality of truth) it is incomprehensible for your worldly brain to fathom. And why do you need to kill them, what do they hold that scares you so much, thinking of destroying them, do you think will set you free, foolish thinking, it only entraps you more.

I feel the need to pray, pray that truth, freedom and liberty reins for all in oppression….

I see many billionaires in a virtual reality.

And life seems to become messy, so what about.

Billions of prayers, billions of promise.

Billions of expectation, billions of angels.

Billions of blessing and the presence of the Lord.

Billions of thanks, billions of praise.

Billions of songs for worship.

Billions of grace….

Sounds better to me.

Many times I think I am not praying enough.

Yes, old habit, but when I hear another voice say, it is all about the heart.

I get really excited, the week before last I was talking to someone about value. They thought value was money, but value to me is, your heart.

Sounds so simple, but I like to keep it simple, I like to do things with my heart engaged.

Because when you do, the gift you give, has so much more value, for your giving your heart.

Sometimes, I feel sad that my heart is full but has no direction to flow, then I get over myself and know, the reality is I have all my heart to give to my father.

So, I am doing enough, stop accusing but realise that I can, put more in, there is always an option for more and that is OK.

So, I sit here knowing I can get excited, excited for the expectation of what is to come.

That I am feeling my fathers heart too… what a blessing, that no money can buy.

This is a final statement put into print, because I am done (I am holding what the enemy brings to my mind as a lie). I am stating that the words in print are the truth as I see it.

Today of all days, I am reminded, reminded of when I became a mother for the first time.

My mum, god bless her, always found fault and not realising put pressure on an already overwhelming feeling, as a new mum.

Then I lived in a very bad relationship, mental and physically wrong. So what I had and did not know at the time, was post natal depression. I remember snapping and hating myself, all I kept thinking was, they will take my baby if they know, all I needed was help. I had a partner that threatened to throw his own child at the wall and did not want to partake at all, but gave his words freely, that chipped away. As a new mum, you just want to, not feel so tired, know you can trust those around you, to help and feel good when you have time to put clean cloths on, having the opposite is soul destroying.

So I sit here, being reminded and speaking my truth, twice I hurt my son and I have apologised, I have humbled myself and he told me it was fine, but having words twisted by others who wish to hurt, still can make someone un-forgive and that is hard.

It is hard when you read an obituary and you read a barrage of lies, the reason I am writing this is, I feel maybe my son or daughter will read this. You can never understand how hard it is to have a child, and have family around that are just waiting for you to stuff up and constantly pulling you down, all you want to do is protect your child and when you have this kind of depression, you can understand extreme ways other mothers think and react.

Through my life, the way, the truth has been distorted, has been almost unbelievable, because when you have the bold truth everything else seems so minor.

My truth is I made some bad mistakes, but I sit here knowing, I forgive myself, I forgive those around me, so self absorbed they would not help, and then adding a second child with issues like her father was beyond what I thought my worth.

But, I look back today of all days, knowing that I stood for both of them, I was buying a house, bringing them up alone and doing the best I could, what I am guilty of is silence. I stood up for them, but not me and in this time of speaking, this is it, I have owned this, I said sorry, I forgave myself, I live a life of truth and reading a barrel of lies irritates me, which I admit, oh lord I would love the cat out of their bag… but I bless them instead.

I have seen a sibling, violently shake their child, not once but many times, demanding them to eat or do what they have been told and then deny it.

What I am trying to get out of this is, we all make mistakes, but being able to see ourselves, from others point of view allows growth. Growth to own what has happened before and move on, to make sure the future is better.

Hanging onto the past is not growth and being right is not growth, living a lie is not growth. But standing up and putting into print your truth is growth.

So from this day forward, I am done with before, I am here for now and what’s next. I look for the sun, not the darkness and anyone reading this, I am not wallowing or reliving what has happened, I am stating my case and case closed.

Denial meaning: an unwillingness to accept that something unpleasant is true; we all must face truth, because it shows your maturity, age has nothing to do with it.

Many times I hear, or see people to scared to speak the truth.

I find, if someone is asking for help when it comes to the word (and what it says), why would you not. Yes I make sure he wants me too, for you do not put pearls before swines.

But radio stations, when someone call in, as a last ditch effort and they are suppose to be Christians and say nothing, why, what is so scary.

If your not suppose to be the vessel of the holy spirit, if your not suppose to trust in him, then what are you doing.

Seriously, I am un-apologetically me, if you ask, then are you not expecting an answer.

Sometimes things that I hear seem, so incredibly daft to me.

But fear is not something that will stop this ship from sailing.

Sometimes I might seem a hermit, but really I love my time with him. I dislike noise and going out, I liked less planes because they fly over and make noise and peace was a real gift.

I am blessed everyday, because of the peace and quiet, I hear a laugh or feel him smile.

I feel many times a friendship between us, he sees me, when I am at my best and when I am at my worst, and still he loves me.

When I wake up, I try and plan my day, to get as much done, with as little amount of pain as possible, either that day or that night or next day.

He showed me why I have it, and trust me when I say, it will go… I feel it coming.

I love it when, the whole day is spent with him, its like having a friend walking along side of you and it goes so fast.

But boy, do I feel so very blessed, nothing in this world means more to me.

He is my beginning and my end and everything else is not as important, I really do wish those with wealth all the best, for they always seem to loose the plot, or everyone wants to know them. Their reality gets bent out of shape, and they have no real direction, they always seem to be to be flags flying in the wind, but not really doing anything, but showing what they are.

I hope I make sense here, I watch many become wealthy and they spend, spend, spend. Why, yes I would like to own where I live, but I do not want a mansion, or jewels or Bentley’s. Good grief, a car is a car (I do not need to own a Mercedes to be worth something), if I had the chance I would like to find Jesse, Jesse was an old car we were in, when we escaped hell, for freedom, that is because of heart, not worldly value of the car now.

It always has to be with heart, heart is, what he sees in me, he knows mine, for he has full access.

When it comes to things of the world, I don’t need to impress anyone, and I certainly do not need fame. I write because I want my journey to inspire someone, or help in a small way. But you don’t need to see me, because my voice is finally found and when he says to use it, whether it be via this blog or verbally, I am ready and waiting…

God bless to all

Last week I found even outside patterns talking to people, the word assumption kept coming up.

People who assume, if you having your third baby, then there will be no problem, oh I assume you wanted it.

I find all the time patterns, doesn’t matter, if I am shopping or watching TV, a pattern will arise.

It is like going back another week, and the lord says to me, the appearance of what is seen and the evidence is different, then following that, it came up again and again.

It is like being a parent, you see your adult children and they show, the appearance of good behaviour, then the evidence is completely different, once out of sight. I learn’t long ago, to watch and listen, to watch and wait, for the evidence will show in the end.

And in the mean time, the hardest thing is to sit tight, and do nothing, I believe that the Lord is working on my behalf, and stepping in, because I am their mother is completely the wrong thing to do, for I would rather, show I trust him and for the lesson to be short, than a long drawn out process.

The pattern of behaviour, has been evident through the years, but I choose to change the course, I refuse to just tag along, because I am told too. If there is no heart, then it it worthless action, to me.

Your heart and that of the next generation must be in it, money and all material things are always there in the world, but they must be worthless, and your worth must shine through the darkness.

I love my two and I trust all the good that I once did, will count for something. Yes I made mistakes, and I have owned them, but I will not be held down, because of the past, I once decided to only move forward. Why, because if you keep going back, you never move, in any direction, you just become stuck.

I am not hard (I have such a big heart, but I am no body’s fool), but I refuse to be held back, words others have used accuse me, no longer hold, because you have to be guilty, to be held, don’t you? Lies are the enemy’s, and I won’t partake of that anymore, if that is all they have, god bless them.

For my pattern, is now set by the father, his blue print is my main aim, if none of my family chooses to join me, that is their choice, I have given all I have, and I am humbled in the knowledge that I am his. No, I am definitely, not a nut job christian.

As I told a lady in a shop, I don’t care if I am politically incorrect, I am God correct.

Its funny how I went in for a new broom and shovel set, and came out glorifying the father. I went off like a cracker in all the good ways, she was so inspired, she said, “your so cute, and so right” I told her, no he’s right. I am alive because of him, I live for him and I am a walking miracle because of him and his love for me…

yeehaa…

Words have so much power, we forget the strength behind them.

This is what I recently posted on my facebook sight.

“Heaven to gain, hell to avoid”

I listened and heard these words, it is amazing to me everyday. How we can strive for things and forget the word eternal. For it is not about anything else, but this.And each day we waste is a day shorter, to where we will spend eternity….

He is giving those who have an ear to hear, to get busy diligently seeking him, for with each step forward, it is like putting up pieces of a house, your building his house in you, so he is building your house in heaven.

It is ultimately up to you, what sort of house is standing, in both places.

These simple words were reminded to me today, he is my dad.

Any action against him breaks my heart, and moving forward because of that fact is sometimes hard.

But the gain you receive is so much more, nothing can hold a candle.

Many times the revelation of having to step forth, and just know he has me, has been my most valuable belief.

How much more do you need….