Last night I watched part two of the Spice girls, and I saw something that I did not like.

If you stand for the truth, your seen as trouble or a (B), but the male always seems to walk away, clean as a whistle. When his actions should be confronted and shown as an insult to men.

And as a mum, everything ended up being my fault in one form or another. I will own my failures, but I will not be singled out, my children have TWO parents, not just me.

When I was young, I was abused, mentally & physically, I was also a child of an abuser (no pity required here), I grew up not seeing one man, with any moral fibre or honour, until I saw it with my own eyes, the first time.

You see, I realised there are a lot of men, but few are a man, amongst men.

As a girl, I had no rights, I would have been dragged through the wringer, if I brought justice in, even though I was the victim. So, all those whom had harmed me, got away with it, but my father knows, he also knows, I have stepped from that threshold.

I am no longer their victim, but I am my fathers VICTOR.

Yes, there are women, who use, and lie to act like they are a victim, only to cause harm for others. The harm is, when we really need to be believed, and seen, but also supported and justified.

We are strong, we give birth, we make a house a home, we are awesome when we are allowed to fly.

I am woman hear me roar….

As you may have read, yesterday I posted a word, straight from him.

And, since then I have been mulling it over, meditating on it, because his word is like a pop up book, there is always more, if your willing to dig deep and be open to receive.

Since finding my place in him, certain information has been set inside me. And this is the latest, most wonderful word to have.

Because, you read the word, you mull over it and you get it and live the living word. When I had my needles, out loud, I stood on his word, I took hold and believed it beyond any doubt, regardless of whom I was with.

Take no thought for tomorrow, he feeds the birds and its true, for this, I also stood on and he delivered, literally.

When I chose him over a family member, I asked what is wrong with them (this need for total control), he opened the bible and it read something like, when their demon is cast out, unless they continue, 7 more even worse come and reside, that was frightening to read at the time, but I saw it in them and I was sad for them, but I still pray.

Many, many times, his word has been my greatest blessing, my greatest comfort and my greatest strength. Having him as not only my dad, but my friend and knowing what I have cannot be bought but treasured, is precious to me, relationship.

I had to trust him with my life and my children, regardless of what I see them do. I will not allow, them to be used against me, to move me away from where I am and no result from the doctor can cause any fear, for I will be and am, the exception to the rule.

My choice may seem excessive to them, I have not changed, but how I will be treated, HAS. I choose to go to church and read the bible, I choose to link in, I am not a nut case, but I am where I am suppose to be. I love them very much and I do not see any change in me other than becoming better, all I have done is stand my ground.

Being nice is acceptable, being a strong woman is not, I thought we had grown more than this. My path was set long ago, and all I have done is accept, that I have a mandate, don’t know what it is, but willing to accept it.

I just felt like a soldier in an army, being handed my orders…. yeehaa

Many times you read on how to get happy, either by loosing weight or having work done, or a big holiday or having it all, really.

Can you look in the mirror and just be happy, you see over time we change, yes the wrinkles start the skin changes, you produce children and your body shows it, either externally or internally.

I am not suppose to look the way the world stipulates, but I am happy being me. I can look in the mirror and really see myself and smile.

It is something we all need in our lives, to see his reflection in us, and be happy. No amount of starving, no amount of exercise, no amount of surgery will do, that is the worlds illusion and yes if its for your health then maybe a change is applicable.

But being happy and knowing that if your not so perfect, he still loves you, he still cares and he will always be there for YOU, especially if you do your part.

I always just wanted to be well, I cannot turn the clock back and I don’t want too. I do not conform to anyone but my dad and that is where my happiness lies.

So, if you see me and see faults, maybe your mirror should change, just maybe.

But above all, be happy

If you do not believe the living word, you are not a christian

Must be specific or message is messed up, so again apologies Lord.

Here it is again.

These words are what he just spoke to me.

And how true, so say it over and over.

Nothing can stand, if you stand for him. Nothing can get in the way and have any power, when your all in.

It can try to fake it (any situation), but when you stand and let him do it, it all falls away and I love that.

I love that, even sometimes his words are hitting you straight between the eyes (be mature enough to take your discipline from our dad), its all true.

Many can take one thing and sorry (crap all over it) because their selfish desire, but when you know the meaning, nothing can stop you.

Over my life a fraudulent spirit, has stopped a lot of finance, that should have come to me. But, my father keeps a tally, he knows that when it comes back 7 fold (right time, right season), it means nothing to me, only the sheer blessing of a gift from my dad.

Not, because I desire a Mansion or a Bentley or Jewels, because he knows none of that means anything to me. My value is the love, between him and I, I have no need of a safe or a security guard or anything else, he is my all and again, as you may have read many times.

Once I make a decision to surrender, that means all of it. My value is something no one of this world can touch.

And that is the most awesome thing to say… and I feel his love right now and I have tears, because of its power and strength, sitting on me. WOW WOW and WOW

So if I can leave this page today with one word of wisdom, stop messing about, grow up and get serious.

Be blessed, because you can be…. CHOOSE

Today, like most days when a certain someone visits, he is here in the room, things happen and we get excited.

I am excited because, last Monday my car was put in, to be fixed after someone left their mark on my car and I let the father deal with it and when I woke up yesterday. My first words to him were, father it would be really nice if, when we are at the luncheon, they called to say it was ready, I was told Wednesday at the earliest.

So as I was paying, I got a call and boy did I get excited, call back at 4.30pm to see how long till you can pick it up today. Isn’t he fantastic, no one knew, but he did and you gotta love his work.

So, as you can see, he acts on my behalf all the time, and the other day, helping a friend, in front of me was this little thing that read, Blessed Beyond Measure and that was for me.

Getting back to today, this may sound harsh, but if you are not in the right place, then this should move you toward it.

If you do not believe the living word, you are not a christian

Bam, but its true, take no thought for tomorrow, so why are we so worried about food on our table, why when it comes to Xmas are we so worried. Because he is wanting your trust, if your a good steward, YOU have nothing to fear.

I showed it by just paying my registration for my car and my mobile phone bill, without concern.

Why, because I TRUST HIM… I am all in.

As a child, I remember the stress, I saw in my mothers eyes. The tender hooks we walked on, to keep from any strain, once mum made up Jesus in a manger, she dressed dolls and even used guinea pigs as animals, so funny, but those things, cost nothing, but are special memories to me.

We get so caught up with, bigger, better, more and fancy or expensive and why, because we have forgotten, to appreciate the one and only one.

At the time, when we were poor and had little, but somehow I knew, knew what to be happy for.

I remember one Xmas, I was asked what I wanted, it was a doll with long hair like mine, right down past her bottom, it was the only time I remember us having money. My mother won, betting on the horses and won a trifecta, I think it was.

And another time, when mum went to great lengths, to get us all together for Xmas lunch (days of hard work and planning), she was so excited, but also cautious, because we were still living with the old man. Someone decided to have a fit (its all about me moment) and that blew it, tension rose and mum was shattered, she said, that was it, and was never going to do this again, and she didn’t.

What got me was the, not understanding, mum did not have this, but craved it so much, she put a lot of herself into it, wanting a perfect Xmas lunch with her children, and instead, someone self-centred, blew it for her.

Every year for me, it was tension, I knew mum was watching the money, even when she went to the trouble of putting 5c coins in the pudding, she needed them back. I remember as I grew up, mum struggling to find something, to give as a gift, and I said, I wanted slip on slippers, these were $5 and that is all I asked for, for years, because I knew it made her happy, that she could give something, I seemed to want, yes I made a big deal (oy, could I act).

I am not putting myself on a pedestal here, but trying to explain, my mothers feeling were so much more important, than what I got as a gift.

We seemed to have not have a normal family, it was very dysfunctional, but knowing the little my mum shared about her childhood, and the pain in her words, was enough for me, to be mature and make sure, I did not further her anguish. But of course you do, but regret it all, later on.

As I grew up with my own children, the stress of trying to make do, make it special, make effort, when their dad couldn’t or just wouldn’t. And as I have grown older, seeing Santa at the shops, seeing stress, over spending and parents trying to give their best Xmas, to their ungrateful children. It has at times made me hate it, when we get Xmas in July, what the heck. Then we get it all coming out, once the last marketing comes forth.

I detest Halloween, get lollies from strangers, dress up and give the devil glory, what on earth are you doing. Sometimes we need to throw it all out, stop being religious followers of certain times of year, stop caving to peer pressure, stop all the waste.

Just stop, and appreciate each other, stop and appreciate this time of year and throw out all the tinsel, I would love an Aussie Xmas, a bottle brush tree, red tip that light up, then dangle gum leafs, kangaroos etc. Why, it does not snow here and it can get really hot and why not, make it your own.

I have had Xmas alone many times, my two children never wanted to be together and because of the times I tried and tried, I gave up. I thought if they do not realise, its about sharing time together, not me, me, me, then I am out.

So instead of sadness, I sit and appreciate time with him, and do not feel sad, because it is not, I have had times of understanding, appreciating a really special time, yes my worldly mother side sheds the odd tear, but I refuse to let it consume me.

Yes it would be nice, but life is not a movie story, it is not all a bed of roses, real life can be messy. Mine has been and currently is, but hey, I would rather be where I am, more in tune with the father, and remember, even through utter sadness, comes JOY.

So, have a wonderful time together this Xmas…

Many times, I stop and think about what he has done for me, the abundance of blessings, that he has bestowed on me.

He has supported me, comforted me, given so much and it stops me, when others, do not see him in their lives.

I know being grateful is only half or a little, but being humble, is the greatest I have, to bow before him with all I am. He is all you could ever want, but you have to realise, when he is actively acting in your life.

He is especially at this time of year, my greatest gift and even though, I have a problem with Xmas, I never forget him. I don’t see it as a time of excessive marketing etc, but a time when we should appreciate the fact, he gave to us, his life…

I know what I have been learning is vast, I know sometimes, I cannot explain what I see or experience. I also know, that some of it, it is not the right time to share, as others journey is not where I am.

But, wow, my experiences are shocking and wonderful and frightening and its hard to breath etc etc etc.

There is something I have done for a very long time, its have a relationship of acknowledgement with angels.

What am I on about, once I put down my very first experience hearing the fathers audible voice, from that day, angels that had been assigned to me, where in my consciousness.

Being alert is not it, it is another level, taking in, not only where you are in the world, but beyond it, his space. For there is no measure to it, once I remember I was coming home from church and had a conversation with the Spirit of Wisdom, then I knew she was sitting in the car next to me.

I have spoken to them, when I felt alone, all of a sudden I was squished in the car, it was full of angels. Many times when I just say, Hi and start speaking, I feel there presence.

This is not some sort of off the wall nut writing this, but a fathers daughter, more engaged with his world at times, than the one I live in.

I love it when they make me laugh, I love it when they answer a question, or show me something that is only between me and my father. I love it when I am out, because they are all with me, I am NEVER ALONE and never will be again. I love it when they think of me, a family not chosen by the worlds rule, but my fathers.

For the world is not right, he is, I love the way I get car parks where I need them. How I get blessed, it is all connect to the father.

But like everything we forget to engage, because like a restaurant kitchen, we only recognise the chef, but without the sous chef, even down to the dish washer. Nothing would work without the other, it is up to you, whether you want to recognise the whole kitchen or have tunnel vision and miss the rest.

You can have a wow, or just chug along in slow motion, you choose to be conscious and active. Or dull and silent… it makes sense when you see it.

Like a forest, why is it important, it is not the whole that is, but that single tree and all the life it supports. That is where it starts…

I was watching the show again, Expedition Unknown and it was about the details of finding the Dead Sea Scrolls in caves.

Have you seen your scroll, once I was given mine, cannot read the text because it is not in English.

But one day, I believe I will know, I have seen my name written in his book, so why not, his words for me.

One part of the written text, written at the time around when Jesus was here, was the 10 commandments.

The one thing that was different, was remember the Sabbath.

What I got was, all last week remember, remember me, remember the things I have done for you, remember my words, on the seventh day he then rested, so rest little one and trust his love for you.

So, I took it on board and started to remember, to thank him and it was a bad week, the enemy is trying his best to stop me again. I was tired and so fed up, on my worst day, I made a decision to CHOOSE.

Choose what exactly, choose the father, over everything else, choose to give him my tithe, show him you mean business, show him that I know that to receive, he wants us to freely give. Give up something, to show him, you want him, more than, that of the world, what ever it is in your life holding you back.

His street has two lanes, two lanes for you to give unto him and for him to pass to you, for it says, time, tithe, task. Never forget this, never forget what he has done, for you to live, to thrive. Never take this for granted, never give up, never give in, keep on HIS path.

It has been told that for each one of us, there are 170,000 angels watching us (reporting back to him), you know when I am awake, I am very aware that I am being watched. I know I have said it to those I know, but I think they never really believed me, until someone else said it to them.

You see many only try and show their best side, but he sees all of it, from before you were in your mothers womb, to eternity. So why try and hide, if it is hard to be good, then what has hold of you, to do bad.

Think about it, his love is suppose to flow, from within you, Holy Spirit let it flow