How a thought, can make you think

Now to some, just this title is a little confusing, but my brain works overtime, so bear with me.

When I was in primary school, all I wanted to do was write and sing.

Growing up in a small town, they laughed me into silence, then last week I watched Ahn’s Brush with fame, he was painting a portrait of Tara Moss. She said her modelling paid for her to write, how she always had a passion for it and her story.

And I saw a little of me, I remember a published writer who visited our primary school, she told me I was really good and I was about 7 or 8 at the time, but I had to keep quiet.

My only avenue to write is this one, and I find my passion is sharing the love for my father and the journey I have been on.

I cannot tell you the amount of times in a week, I tell a story in my head, I am writing, just no one ever reads it.

I know many times others write fiction, but how can I write anything that is not real. I live in a world created by my father, but I have to live in it, and then my spirit lives in his world. I know someone reading this that has not experienced what I have would think I had lost the plot, but when evidence shows otherwise, you cannot deny his love and time for me.

When I was young, its funny he just brought it to my mind, I use to think, if I pray, then someone who needs him more will miss out and that’s OK, so I won’t. Foolish I know, but I was little and no one could answer me, no one ever told me he was omnipresent (everywhere at the same time) because I thought he was like a human, and that he is not.

It is like someone asked about mountains in the bible, it is not a physical mountain but your spiritual one. It is the one where you meet him, where Moses went to write on the tablets and came back glowing.

We think so much with our worldly mind, but spiritually has so much much more.

Revelations says, “and he showed me a river of water clear as crystal” I have seen that river, I have swam in it, I have breathed in that water, because you can, I have seen the trees of life, I have walked on the paths of crystal. This world nothing can compare, trust me, when I pray, when I really really pray and click into another gear, I also click into his place. I have seen a tree, in the middle of the garden, that is all the colours in the rainbow and it shines like crystal in the sunlight, I have walked on cobbled paths.

You can do this too, surrender, pray and open up, unlock the gates holding you back. At the moment I am taking back what the enemy has against me, for if he has nothing, then I am free in the fathers court.

I am getting so excited, I am sitting here and the waft, of orange scented oil, that I am wearing, hits my nostrils, its sweet scent transports me to another place and time. It takes me to a blessed place, a place for the birth of Jesus, could you even imagine being a witness to that, to see a star so big and bright, and blessed to not have interference, from the hands of any corrupted worldly being, but those chosen only by God, to bring in scents and gifts, very blessed people, to be present to be the first to see, his son, Jesus.

This is the story, told many times but never with passion and love added in. Like a painting with no soul, its then just a picture, when you put in heart, soul and love, then you have a winner…

How blessing come when you believe

I sit and talk to him, then spirits of God and ask about things, I would like.

When they turn up, I laugh, I laugh because no one knows what I have asked for, but me.

And it happens within a week or two, I use to say to many, “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”.

It sounds simple right, but like presents, mothers day. My two are out in the world and I will stand by my father, no matter what. But I asked, I wanted something personal, I wanted something touching to my heart etc etc.

We’ll guess what I received, exactly what I asked for, you see it is not about you. But your relationship with him, many times I hear people in the world complain about what they got, and for a woman to receive an iron for a present (what do men think is OK, but really not).

I had an idea many many years ago, I will write a list, 10 things, list the price and where to get them from say $10 to the most expensive, and all details especially if it relates to size etc and then put it on the fridge for you to choose.

But, lets go back to my point, how special would you feel, I am humbled, I feel so very special. For he thought of me, he heard me and he got someone to bless me… he knew and how wonderful to not only hear him, but to be part of his service.

Many times when I have been prompted to get something for someone, the blessing of that, is just as wonderful as receiving.

I know when I ask, I get what he knows I am ready for, and with that knowledge I am eternally grateful.

Your never alone

Many times I am asked, do you have anyone…

How can a woman like me answer that honestly.

I am never alone, he is always with me, I feel his presence and comfort.

He is like a person married on earth, till death, but we still will not part.

So, if you feel lonely, call on him, ask him to be your friend and comfort.

Once I asked for a hug, I was in bed and just needed a hug. I felt arms surround me and I slept so soundly and woke feeling like I slept for a minute or two.

Amazing, you can have this too, just ask him, talk to him. He will be waiting, just as the angel you have been assigned since birth, acknowledge them and see what happens.

Each moment is awesome, each step when you believe is undeniable.

Remember, lies are just that, an illusion of power….

History repeats

I watched show that said all family members connected to Adolf Hitler, made a pact to never have children.

Now, I watch, not only things close to me, but history and I see patterns.

It takes one person, who can be remembered for an unimaginable blight on history. When watching the program, it showed he wanted to remove all Jews, but his family DNA showed he was part Jew, so this would have been important information at the time.

You see what I am getting at is, one person who put fear and hype around an illusion, and is one of the worst points of the earths history. This, we are reminded of, many times and when nations try this, we all watch, because we see the pattern of history, being retold in another version.

But what about our history of Christ, Mary said, “let it be done unto me” a woman chosen to birth the son of God. She surrendered her will, she trusted in her belief and took all the persecution, to bring him forth. They have found the blood of Christ and found it still lives, scientific proof of him.

So why is history silent on this matter, I believe if he was shown as the awesome being he was and is. Our worldly history would change for the better, when you have seen evidence in your life, and nothing else can prove otherwise, you know.

When you hear the audible voice, you cannot deny, this overrides any fear tried on you from any source even family.

There is only your history, I saw once and heard, my name will be written in the pages of history. Now I do not get a big head, for I do not know what will come, but I surrender my all, to do what HE instructs. He has a mandate and that I will find out, he has a plan, he knows when push comes to shove, I will push will all my might.

I am glad I grew up in fear, because it holds no value or threat in my life. I know the enemy read my pages, before he was cast out of heaven, and he’s scared, but I am the daughter of the living one and only.

My father is in charge and he builds a mighty group of people, when you think about it. There is nothing to fear, for if your life ends, he will not allow you to feel any pain. I think of the three men, and the fire did not touch them, when those in charge tried to burn them, signs and wonders have come before.

It reminds me of the three, past-present-future, his evidence is past, his present is in me and the miracles and evidence I see, and the future, I TRUST…

Signs and wonders will follow

I was about to leave this page when I got these words.

Signs and wonders will follow those who believe.

There is evidence of his blood, still alive after all this time.

Signs, wonders for scientist who cannot fathom the truth.

Evidence in your belief to expect what you have prayed for.

I have the knowledge when the world tries to remove you, two more will take your place.

And the world is looking, and soon will see.

I am excited to see all kingdoms fall, and the one and only arise.

The illusion of control

You see nations trying to control their people, but instead why not see themselves as custodians of grace.

I remember seeing a cartoon once where this nut, wanted to take over the world.

Control is an illusion, this is the truth.

The world was created by God, then he created Adam and Eve for them to do his will over the earth.

Not someone who has lost the plot and sees themselves as a king, There is only one, the Alpha and Omega, the one and only, build your nation on good, not evil thoughts.

Do good for the planet, we only have one, and stop abusing it along with your people. Brain washing does not give you power, but shows your weakness.

I know who has the ultimate power and that is my father, he knows my end date, he knows my plan, he knows me and I have free will, for he will not push me, but he will steer me if I ask for his help.

In that, lye’s the difference, for those without freedom of speech, you have freedom of belief, belief in Christ. And remember your end is the only important thing, no one can take that from you or kill it.

Those who are murdering Christians, to try and destroy Christ, evidence shows he was here, he still lives and this earth is his, so I would not mess with something so great (and more will fill their space, killing them only strengthens the reality of truth) it is incomprehensible for your worldly brain to fathom. And why do you need to kill them, what do they hold that scares you so much, thinking of destroying them, do you think will set you free, foolish thinking, it only entraps you more.

I feel the need to pray, pray that truth, freedom and liberty reins for all in oppression….

Billions, is not enough

I see many billionaires in a virtual reality.

And life seems to become messy, so what about.

Billions of prayers, billions of promise.

Billions of expectation, billions of angels.

Billions of blessing and the presence of the Lord.

Billions of thanks, billions of praise.

Billions of songs for worship.

Billions of grace….

Sounds better to me.

I try not to get too, excited

Many times I think I am not praying enough.

Yes, old habit, but when I hear another voice say, it is all about the heart.

I get really excited, the week before last I was talking to someone about value. They thought value was money, but value to me is, your heart.

Sounds so simple, but I like to keep it simple, I like to do things with my heart engaged.

Because when you do, the gift you give, has so much more value, for your giving your heart.

Sometimes, I feel sad that my heart is full but has no direction to flow, then I get over myself and know, the reality is I have all my heart to give to my father.

So, I am doing enough, stop accusing but realise that I can, put more in, there is always an option for more and that is OK.

So, I sit here knowing I can get excited, excited for the expectation of what is to come.

That I am feeling my fathers heart too… what a blessing, that no money can buy.

Let me speak my truth as a mum

This is a final statement put into print, because I am done (I am holding what the enemy brings to my mind as a lie). I am stating that the words in print are the truth as I see it.

Today of all days, I am reminded, reminded of when I became a mother for the first time.

My mum, god bless her, always found fault and not realising put pressure on an already overwhelming feeling, as a new mum.

Then I lived in a very bad relationship, mental and physically wrong. So what I had and did not know at the time, was post natal depression. I remember snapping and hating myself, all I kept thinking was, they will take my baby if they know, all I needed was help. I had a partner that threatened to throw his own child at the wall and did not want to partake at all, but gave his words freely, that chipped away. As a new mum, you just want to, not feel so tired, know you can trust those around you, to help and feel good when you have time to put clean cloths on, having the opposite is soul destroying.

So I sit here, being reminded and speaking my truth, twice I hurt my son and I have apologised, I have humbled myself and he told me it was fine, but having words twisted by others who wish to hurt, still can make someone un-forgive and that is hard.

It is hard when you read an obituary and you read a barrage of lies, the reason I am writing this is, I feel maybe my son or daughter will read this. You can never understand how hard it is to have a child, and have family around that are just waiting for you to stuff up and constantly pulling you down, all you want to do is protect your child and when you have this kind of depression, you can understand extreme ways other mothers think and react.

Through my life, the way, the truth has been distorted, has been almost unbelievable, because when you have the bold truth everything else seems so minor.

My truth is I made some bad mistakes, but I sit here knowing, I forgive myself, I forgive those around me, so self absorbed they would not help, and then adding a second child with issues like her father was beyond what I thought my worth.

But, I look back today of all days, knowing that I stood for both of them, I was buying a house, bringing them up alone and doing the best I could, what I am guilty of is silence. I stood up for them, but not me and in this time of speaking, this is it, I have owned this, I said sorry, I forgave myself, I live a life of truth and reading a barrel of lies irritates me, which I admit, oh lord I would love the cat out of their bag… but I bless them instead.

I have seen a sibling, violently shake their child, not once but many times, demanding them to eat or do what they have been told and then deny it.

What I am trying to get out of this is, we all make mistakes, but being able to see ourselves, from others point of view allows growth. Growth to own what has happened before and move on, to make sure the future is better.

Hanging onto the past is not growth and being right is not growth, living a lie is not growth. But standing up and putting into print your truth is growth.

So from this day forward, I am done with before, I am here for now and what’s next. I look for the sun, not the darkness and anyone reading this, I am not wallowing or reliving what has happened, I am stating my case and case closed.

Denial meaning: an unwillingness to accept that something unpleasant is true; we all must face truth, because it shows your maturity, age has nothing to do with it.

why are you scared

Many times I hear, or see people to scared to speak the truth.

I find, if someone is asking for help when it comes to the word (and what it says), why would you not. Yes I make sure he wants me too, for you do not put pearls before swines.

But radio stations, when someone call in, as a last ditch effort and they are suppose to be Christians and say nothing, why, what is so scary.

If your not suppose to be the vessel of the holy spirit, if your not suppose to trust in him, then what are you doing.

Seriously, I am un-apologetically me, if you ask, then are you not expecting an answer.

Sometimes things that I hear seem, so incredibly daft to me.

But fear is not something that will stop this ship from sailing.