Tomorrow I have an appointment, I am asking for prayer to have them listen to me and hear what I am saying.

I have printed up my concerns and I will be giving it too them.

But as you know, those who feel they are more educated than you, can think they are smarter than you.

But I know differently, so I am calling on his army, its time…

And I will not take anything less.

I was told as a young adult my grandmother was part indigenous, I am trying to find out if her words were true or valid.

I found a line and then a blog that I was able to link a missing member who is my great great great great grandfather.

I heard him say, “why don’t you search for me, as hard as you search for them” he had no need to speak loudly but I heard him and I repent, I am saddened by the fact I went quiet.

I need to get back on board, literally, I am on a diet trying to restart my stomach and I feel weak because I get frustrated at how little and tasteless I have in choices to eat.

I need to find the missing link and then I can leave it be…

Trying to unravel lies you find through one linage is not shocking to me but sad, but I must turn and search for him and get back on his path…..

Many times I hear or see people say, oh we went overseas and ended up at the temple or accept others spiritual journeys, enlightenment holidays etc.

And they do not disrespect them in any way, so why??????????????????????

Why as a christian are you trying so hard to shut me down, why is my belief so threatening to you?

What am I doing on my daily basis that affects your life?

Why am I not respected as anyone else in my opinion of my belief?

Now I may have put this same question in many different forms but really, if you do not want to listen then walk away.

But I have the right for my freedom of belief, I have the right as a level headed adult to believe and stand on my morals, values and standards.

I am willing to listen to you, so why are you not of me?

Because of what you may think you know, you are no better than me, you just think differently to me. I believe because I have seen the miracles in my life, the unexplained the miraculous the wonderful and sheer amount of love and peace I have felt even when I have felt I could not take another breath.

Yes my journey has been hard and winding, but its all mine, sometimes it is really hard to stand in the midst of what others believe I should do. Thinking of my children here, when you put up a list of pros and cons, my father wins every time.

In many ways, I see people in power as a joke, that is my personal view, because you go to court and you must hold the bible, but if you don’t believe then it is just a book.

You watch shows and in the courts on the wall it reads, IN GOD WE TRUST. Really, it is like a politician not reading and knowing there constitution, is it not the beginning, of the standard your suppose to uphold as part of your job.

Many times I have seen views so outdated, or single minded, oh the old lady sitting in church could spread the virus, what sort of church are you thinking of, and have you been lately to find out. What does the minister believe, and are they standing on the word, are they engaged in the LIVING word.

Many times I have worked in positions and given flack or thought less of, because I hold tight too, no swearing, no disrespect because of my age size or my gender or position. The fact that I do believe is private and not for the office, but I will also not stand for you putting me or my father down because of it.

All these things sound so scary, don’t they, not really, but the facts are, many around me have seen evidence of things they cannot explain, and these are people who do not believe, so maybe I am barking up the right tree after all.

BOO and be blessed.

My father is so absolutely amazing, because he is helping me and changing me.

Its day 4 and my stomach is sore from the lap band, but I feel so much better.

My fatigue is lessening and that is such a blessing.

I always have to turn over packages and read ingredients but now, more than ever, I have too and I am so amazed the crap (sorry) that is put in.

Having food as a challange, I see many saying mum or dad or other family members have Dimentia.

And something keeps ringing in my head, we surround ourselves with things and build using chemicals.

I believe these leech over time and as we grow they impact on us, I so believe this to have an affect on us, we need to be more aware of things we have or use, why so much now and not then???

Think about it, it makes perfect sense…

I was thinking yesterday, how I have not missed the hype about movies and there so called stars.

I mean, if the Director and all the little gremlins didn’t do there job, you would not make the money you do and really what is the going rate, you should not be paid mega bucks for playing like a child in front of a camera.

I watch and so many seem to want to be rich, but you can never buy class and all seem to not have any or scruples.

And one thing I do not get, about Harry and Megan, she was in a TV series, she was not Nicole Kidman status, but she married a Royal then started strutting and making moves in front of the media, you could see her act or I think many are blind. As a child she wrote a letter, many do and never get deals like her and Harry puts on smiles etc, you see it don’t you, really they want to know what Harry has to tell.

Am I wrong or right…. I had to ask this question because I keep asking the father, but I know its not important to him.

I was watching something this morning and it’s interesting how you know the truth is hidden you just have to wait to see someone have the balls to say it. I am talking about America here, they always seemed to me to act like they were bigger than the boots they wore, Or more just, because they control the finances, really your debt shows something else, and people are not STUPID….

I was thinking about the Don and he said something very prophetic “be careful what you wish for” now these words may not seem much, BUT he knows more than he lets on.

And being prosecuted like Jesus, your on the money, he knows, he has played the media like a violin and only the smart ones know this. I have learned over the years you may have gone to uni, you may have a diploma but you can be uneducated in the important things that matter and this is shown over and over.

Why do people in suits think they have power, that THEY will not be judged for, I was think of past and present, people in or around the Washington capital, this does not include Don unless his pride gets in the way, and remember Don to watch because “pride comes before the fall” you must be humble all the time. Because the father matters here and you know what I am talking about, but good on you so far, it ain’t done yet…

And I still do not get why you would vote in a person, who is not what you need.

I said something once and its true, “the father gives you what you need, not what you want”. You may not see why and you may grumble, but it is true today as the day I said it.

You just gotta trust the experience you going through, he knows more than you so just trust and sometimes it not for you, but others watching you, to see how it comes out. Its good to have your feathers ruffled, birds do it for a reason, to get the bugs out.

I read and then post and realise I have a spelling error, so refresh and apologies.

I find my fingers move faster than my brain and I know what I need to say, its just spelling sometimes ain’t the most important part of the msg.

Thank you…

Many times I have written to never give up, yes sometimes you are winded, but keep going.

For he will never give up on you, he will carry you, if you cannot hear him or sense him.

Just be quiet and listen to even the softest hints.

But at the same time, shut down the enemy, as I keep saying to that voice.

I AM NOT DONE, IT AIN’T OVER and I AM NOT OUT…

And never will be.. yeehaa

Many years ago, I posted about God’s Gorgeous red head.

She has kindness, empathy, wisdom, joy, roar of a lion and so much more.

I gave her and my Pastor permission to tell it to me straight, no words can express the gift they have both been in my journey.

And she has been a wondrous, joyous light that came into my life.

She can share a joke and I love it when I make her laugh, to have someone who believes in you and tells you is precious.

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH…

I have been in unspeakable amounts of pain, and other than curling up in a ball and moaning.

All else I could do is pray for the Don, and by the way, it ain’t over, the Lord will have his way, so hang on America. Whether he is in office or not, your gonna get a big shock.

Now back to why I have remained quiet, I had to come to the end of myself, by that I mean hit the wall.

After this happens, I see my spirit turn and face what I need to face and fight my way out, with him by my side. For I know I could not do it alone, I could’t think straight.

Before this happened I cried to the Lord, LOUDLY, I said, “Lord you say in your word, that YOU WILL restore health to me, YOU said you would always LOOK AFTER ME, YOU SAID IT and I demand that you do it”.

And once you do this and he gives you a way out, you gotta take it (even if you don’t see how), for if you don’t, its like slapping him in the face, and that is not something I will ever do.

I saw my emphatic doctor, who I see for the girly parts, but she is key to my healing. I have had stomach pain & back pain, I find if I eat bread or pasta or wheat, I get to feeling sickly etc and every movement is one you don’t want to do, feeling so fatigued I just couldn’t explain it before, or wanted to put it into words, for I felt I would crumble.

But he picked me up and sent in his army, so step by step I now see light at the end of what has been a very very long tunnel, finally, I felt I was hanging on by a thread.

Pain can pull you down and it did for a time, but I believed his word, I hung onto hope and thank the Lord he heard my small shout, that got bigger and bigger.

I kept demanding, I was crying out for him to help me and I believe the road I am now on, is right.

Step one tick…