This past year I have been on a journey.

I was naughty and trusting in the worlds system, more than his, so.

Back into the safe arms of my dad I go.

I was relying on the money and not leaning on him.

So back I go, to start again. Trusting that he has me in hand, that he will meet my needs.

And the rest will fall into place, trusting in his plan for my life.

So my trust is in you Lord not in man, and I lean not unto my own understanding, but my TRUST IS IN YOU.

Everyday can be unexpected.

Really think about it, when something really hits home, did you expect it?

Never is usually the answer, I believe this year is awesome. Yes, I don’t know what is about to happen, but I am expecting amazing things.

This is going to be the year to change everything and I cannot wait.

I sit here feeling like a rocket about to go into space.

I was discussing a subject very close to home the other day.

Realising the mistake, I made at the time. Learning from your mistakes and learning wisdom is hard, but as I have learned. Sometimes the hardest thing is to realise its YOU.

Yes I was in a situation before surrendering to the Lord, I tried to control my children’s father, when our relationship ended I wanted to punish him. For not doing or behaving the way I wanted him too.

Any of this sound familiar, when I realised that I was trying to punish him for the way, males in my family had behaved towards me. And how others had hurt me, when I realised that, I took on the relationship knowing he was that way.

He was an individual and had his own thoughts and morals, I was not his mother. Which I think we tend to behave towards men, when we have children.

I said to someone that, instead of hating him, I accepted him the way he is. Yes, I will not put up with certain behaviour, but I said, “That I love him for giving me, my children”.

This is a big comment, but a certain part of me does, for those precious adults that are walking around becoming the people they are destined to be. My beautiful children who are precious in his sight.

They are the way they are, partly from what I have drilled into them, the rest is what they have chosen themselves. But I cannot change that, I can stand my ground and let them know what I believe and ask for respect as their mum.

But really, I cannot change anything. But I know my father is changing me….

Have you ever felt like a deer in the headlights?

We are made to feel or think that we are worthless, lies all of it.

You are made for greater things than this, why there is no change.

YOU – YOU – YOU – YOU – YOU – YOU – YOU

You get in the way of the process, you may have a small tantrum, hissy fit or conniption. Or a know it all attitude, shut it down now.

Nothing that happens in your life is because of bad luck, your parents or family. You have the ability to know the truth, you know the right way to live.

Its YOU, yep the truth will set you free. You are worthy, because you were created in his image. But if things are going wrong, then what are you doing?

The devil gets into your head, he puts thoughts in, YOU decide what to do with them. You can decide to listen or shut that voice down and hear the one that needs to be heard.

The lord can come and speak to you with a knowing or voice. You can see if its him because someone will say the exact words you heard, that’s a confirmation.

Step forth, don’t look, leap “greater things will he do, than he that is in the world”.

I would rather follow my father, than sit and be rotting. Once you do this the devil cannot hold you back, yahoo.

Remember when I wrote that I am glad I have strength enough not to cave.

Well today, parts of that came out in the message, happy dance time. I heard my father, so so happy.

What do you see with this set of circles, well look at it this way.

• On the inner most circle is God living inside you.
• Next circle is your WILL, MIND & EMOTIONS.
• Then in the outer is your body, skin etc.

God is trying to shine out of you, this is the very best of YOU. He is trying to shine from the outside in. To not let the devil, shut it down and make your life worthless.

But your WILL, MIND & EMOTIONS the devil uses to get you upset. He will bring situations and people to rile you up.

What does his word say, I Corin 13 v 10 – 13 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a  child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love; these three: but the greatest of these is love.

Love Covers ALL.

Mathew 5 10-12 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven “Blessed are you when they revile and persecuted you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. “Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

What is he trying to say, love those who spitefully use you. (I hear a WHAT), Yes I thought the same the first time, but its true, if he loves you. Why can’t you show love??????

All you gotta do is love HELL right out of your enemy.

GREATER IS HE THAT’S IN ME. Than he that is in the world.

My father lives in me, the devil lives in the world. And my father reins over all, but he needs you to make the decision. To follow his path, is the narrow way. But with the sweetest finale’

He needs to have in me temperance, so I have been going through long-suffering, kindness etc etc. And he is winning it all. So today someone said to me, he has great things for you ahead, this has been your preparation.

YAHOO HAPPY DANCE…………

I have been learning a lot in the last few weeks and with that comes a lot of pressure.

So what do I do, I pray. I press into the Lord for assistance to help me with what I need. Sometimes like you (I am sure) I feel totally overwhelmed and think I am seriously goanna fall over. But all I keep thinking of is, with the Lord (my father) I can do anything.

Yes its never easy to choose his way and you cannot play around, I know that more than any other. When I first came into the church I thought I could mould into the background, but you see the little church I attend, has such great power and the Lord is speaking loud and clear.

I cannot hide and that is the best thing, I have to take him seriously and take the message and use it. I can’t just go about my week and think yep, now I will go to church for the social outing.

Nope it isn’t like that, for me its Sunday is the day we come together but the other days of the week, I have to push into where I am meant to be.

As I have said  before he waited for me all those years, to stop being immature, a sook and waited for me to grow up. To surrender and know that I am his daughter, I cannot explain it any other way.

I was telling someone the other night about my testimony, what I experienced and knew that one day, my life would change. If I am asked a question then I have to answer, I will not lie (that’s the worlds way) if they don’t want to hear. Let them walk away, but what I realized one day is really when you know he made heaven and earth, there is really nowhere to run.

He knew you, so he sees your thoughts your heart, just give up. It’s all good after that.

Having a spiritual road block is hard, I have felt so low in energy.

I know I needed to pray with vigour, but nothing has seemed to budge it. I have been wallowing in my own self, very bad I do not suggest it at all. And yes I should have known better, when I get going I am a force to be reckoned with.

When I get pulled up, then I go ok, halt time. Which is extremely stupid of me, that I know. I wish sometimes I could just be!

Sounds simple, because I am in the process of the old me dying, still a little to go. I do feel a little lost, I am better when I have direction and I am producing something. Or I know what to do next, without that I am lost in space LOL.

Being at home in recovery has been mind numbing, I still have things on my course to finish, they came back with and that really disappointed me. I did feel like I failed in a way, I know, I know you don’t have to tell me. And yes, I have not been told that I have failed, thank you father for that.

I like to get it done and move onto the next thing, but I am learning sometimes I have to tweak things before I can say it is done.

I just got a revelation, that’s what the father does with us. He tweaks us until we are just right, yahoo hallelujah.

OMG I can be thick at times, sorry father yes still learning. Pastors message just clicking in. HAPPY DANCE TIME

I was once very damaged, especially with my thoughts.

Hurting a person especially a male, I wouldn’t even bat an eye, not physically but mentally.

I was able to manipulate and screw with their minds. Now I am in no way happy with what I did, I am so sorry now for any pain I caused. At the time, all I did was completely justified (in my own mind), most of the time, I needed to feel pain, I needed to feel something, because I was so numb, I couldn’t feel anything. I never felt droplets of water when it rained, I never felt the wind touch my skin, it was quiet bizarre now I think about it.

Until my journey with the Lord, I remember the day I felt the water on my skin. It was like a dam being broken. Slowly but surely over the years he has healed my heart, I feel with such a sweetness. I have this over whelming urge, I cannot lie, I cannot do anything to harm anyone.

Every little thing I appreciate and a new season fills me with joy, my heart has changed to such a sweetness and for that I have my father to thank.

It has taken time to reverse the damage, but he has done it softly. He took the rubbish in me and recycled it till I couldn’t recognize it anymore.

He has made me knew, this is not rocket science, but very achievable. Yes I have the odd, what the moment, but they are questions I need an answer too. It is never meant to harm, it’s too question, because I want to live my fathers way, not the worlds.

In my father there is peace, love, joy and I want it all.

Smile its a beautiful day 🙂

I have been reading Joyce Meyer, Be Anxious for Nothing. I turn the page another shout of Amen or an oops sorry father, yes that was wrong, comes out of me.

You go along thinking you know it all, but you never really do. We live and learn every day, that is one thing that never changes.

I was reading the part last night, which has the heading The Problem of Independence, these keys have struck me and they are so very true.

1. When one puts the whole management of his life in God’s hands, he will reach a place where anxiety leaves him, regardless of the outward testings that may fall to his lot.
2. We are more often than not, guilty of the sin of independence, which causes problems.
3. A desire for independence is a sign of an immature Christian, a small child thinks he can do anything, instead of asking for help. That’s like the Christian life, we don’t want his help, we want to do everything ourselves – we end up making a terrible mess of things.
4. God wants to manage our life, many times we reject his help and often the result is disastrous.
5. IF WE WANT PEACE OF THE LORD, WE MUST LEARN TO CAST ALL OUR CARE UPON HIM PERMANENTLY.
6. We need to be always in a place of submission and quit trying to be the boss of JESUS.
7. If you could work out God thoughts, then he would no longer need to be. You do not need to know how or when, just leave it to him.
8. Leave him in charge of your life, simply trust.

The I read is on Don’t question or Criticize God, sounds simple doesn’t it.

If you’re wondering why even if you pray things are not going right, then maybe you’re not praying right, but your criticizing. I realized I have done this at times, who the heck do I think I am.

I am so thankful this book was put into my hands, I needed a little adjusting. That is the one big KEY I have found, is be WILLING for change and adjustment. I know I can trust my father, he put me to the test and I passed, I had to trusted him so deeply, there was no other way at the time.

When you say something to him, he will put you to the test. For that I am eternally grateful, you find out what your made of and Jesus sees he can trust you. How awesome is that, to have a relationship with him, my greatest treasure in my life. I am so thankful that it has taken me time to find him, I am mature enough now to know the depth of what he can do (I know my full comprehension may never come, but I trust in him).

I am thankful I can just walk forward knowing, I am his daughter and what I have to do.

What a joy to have such peace, sometimes the journey is the best part, before you get to your destination.

I have found in life there are people who give to it and bring life and there are other that take away.

I love to give, whether it be of me, my time or something I may have. I love the feeling I get knowing I have done something that would please the Lord.

I have learnt that I must be wary of those who would take when they have not right too.

This comes with wisdom and time, I learnt once if you are getting angry or impatient, count 1, 2, 3 then 4 take a deep breath and expel it. In that time frame you give yourself time to reflex and wisdom does come (it works for me).

I read something that made me think: The Art of Giving.

The endless generosity, that brightly shines in you, brings a special quality, to everything you do.

You help and you inspire, with the love that you impart, you give your time and patience, and you share what’s in your heart.

Your kind and selfless nature, brings so many people pleasure, to know you is a privilege, that I will always treasure.

I never thought, about what people thought, of anything that I was doing, I only know that I want to give.

The real gift to me, is in the giving. But to have this little message handed to me, says more than I can share, all I know is it shows me, that what I am trying to do, (what my father wants) and how Jesus would act and react as if he was here with me. It’s awesome because I feel like it’s reminding me regardless of what people may say negatively, the good out ways this far more.

I don’t want to inspire personally, but I want my father to shine through me. I want him to have the glory, he is the one and only. I am just willing for him to use me as he sees fit, he loves me more than anyone ever could.

And I trust him with that.