I was discussing a subject very close to home the other day.

Realising the mistake, I made at the time. Learning from your mistakes and learning wisdom is hard, but as I have learned. Sometimes the hardest thing is to realise its YOU.

Yes I was in a situation before surrendering to the Lord, I tried to control my children’s father, when our relationship ended I wanted to punish him. For not doing or behaving the way I wanted him too.

Any of this sound familiar, when I realised that I was trying to punish him for the way, males in my family had behaved towards me. And how others had hurt me, when I realised that, I took on the relationship knowing he was that way.

He was an individual and had his own thoughts and morals, I was not his mother. Which I think we tend to behave towards men, when we have children.

I said to someone that, instead of hating him, I accepted him the way he is. Yes, I will not put up with certain behaviour, but I said, “That I love him for giving me, my children”.

This is a big comment, but a certain part of me does, for those precious adults that are walking around becoming the people they are destined to be. My beautiful children who are precious in his sight.

They are the way they are, partly from what I have drilled into them, the rest is what they have chosen themselves. But I cannot change that, I can stand my ground and let them know what I believe and ask for respect as their mum.

But really, I cannot change anything. But I know my father is changing me….