Category Archives: Plan Post

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Xmas, I am filled with sharing

Over the weekend I tried to get a few things for the lunch I have been invited too.

I just want to share, a blessing with everyone, Xmas normally feels very sad time for me. Only because I get to think if only my kids were speaking to each other, or the other would get off his high horse and see me for just his mum who loves him.

But this year I am going to believe and expect, for what you may ask. That this time next year, I will have either met or married the one the Lord has for me. That my son, will answer my phone calls or txt’s and realise I am human and a little effort would not kill him.

Anyway, I expect that my finances will zillion’ise next year and my weight and health will be fabulous.

I wish you all a safe holiday, and show a little kindness. You just might get back more than you could ever believe…

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I treasure a simple gift, so deeply…

Yesterday my Landlords dropped off a card with a gift voucher in it.

What touched my heart, was she grew a plant off one from her mothers garden.

Now when your parents pass, especially when you have struggled in the journey and you wish with all your heart that they knew. Just how much you really loved them, when I love, I love with everything I have.

So I deeply felt such a gift given and was so very beautiful, to think of passing something simple from her mother to me and sharing part of her memories in this one little act.

It does not matter what it is, its the love given behind it that I treasure. I have a card and everyone wrote something, I treasure that, I sit here in tears. When you never really had someone who loved you for just being you, and now they do.

It really touches my heart and makes me treasure the thought behind the sentiment.

Don’t tell anyone but I am a very sentimental person, and when I give, I give love.

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I realised I can come across as confusing…my husband needs to know

The other night the Lord showed me, my response to things are not what is expected and that others cant take as the real response, the following is why I need help.

No, Na, Nope, now this may seem a bit daft to begin with but really people, don’t understand what I am getting at.

  1. No is the solid form meaning: not gonna happen. Or I am freaking out and better to say no, but you may need to chat more to find out why.
  2. Na is the meaning: thinking maybe yes, need more info before I confirm the outcome. Possibility is there always.
  3. Nope meaning: Maybe I did maybe I did not, I might be trying to be funny.

In all this I try very hard, but after years of finding the word NO, its really hard to flip that switch.

My concern is my hubby when he walks up to me, for a date. Oh lord your gonna have to help here. You see I get very embarrassed and nervous, so my instant reaction is NO, save myself from the first date, first kiss and getting to know me, it really freaks me out.

I am very worth the bother (I finally know my value), ask the father he knows. But I wish I could just go too, hi how about we get hitched, and find out after that, if the Lord shows us then who are we to question. I am very private when it comes to this, you ask me out in front of people I know, its gonna be a NO or I will make a joke to try and hide my reaction. I want the process to be private, so no body is hurt. I was never one to want to hold hands, kiss in public or have a cute name, its between me and them.

Going out, how hard is that, well allergies, motion sickness, nervous stomach are not good at all, omg too personal to share. I like to chat about interesting subjects or even my veggie patch, things of interest, and when I am nervous I talk fast (Oh lord the more I think about it, I am sitting here getting nervous). Its an inbuilt form of protection that sometimes I am not aware that I am doing till later. But Lord let my hubby know, I am a treasure worth the effort, and getting to really know me, will be surprising and valuable. If he gets a no, try again, find out why, is it really a no or am I having a panic attack.

Being very cheeky and dry sense of humour, the hardest thing is controlling myself, as I do not want to appear as if I am flirting. I don’t think I know how to flirt anyway, I always thought I was just being friendly, I would have no idea if someone was interested anyway, it takes a person to walk up and say, I am interested in dating you, I am totally oblivious. I think because as my body matured, at the time I really needed a true friend, someone to share my heart with, and I missed the knowledge of finding out someone is interested in me.

The main problem is I never felt really good enough about myself, so in my head, why would they want to be with me, must be just sex they want (before I surrendered to the Lord’s way). But coming through it all and finding my worth finally, he needs to really make the effort and it has to come from him as I would never ask anyone out, not gonna happen.

Sometimes people have thought I had feeling towards someone, instead I felt protective as a sister or friend, people don’t really know me when it comes to this.

I don’t want any of my feelings to come forward, until the father says, he is the one. Then I will sit back and go quiet, sounds a miracle I know, but I am a thinker. I go away think about it all, before I make the final decision, I do not rush into anything, wisdom has to rule here. I want to be sure, I have not only my children to consider but my journey in Christ.

I am sticking to this motto : I believe he gives you what you need, not what you want.

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I love the simple things…

I love making a jam for someone, or making do with what I have, or making something out of abundance.

Lately I have been trying to figure out a fruit cake recipe that would be modernised but not have orange peel and cherries, yeuk.

So here I am on my third, I research and look at many recipes before I start trying it out. Seriously, I need my husband to turn up, but I do have great fun, doing what I call improvements.

As a child the simple things were treasured, recipes were lost but I am determined to find my way and as we have forgotten true flavour, I am determined to bring it back.

The best ingredient of all in anything I do is put the LOVE in. I show love in growing things for people or giving them something they may have mentioned, if I can and it warms the fuzzy’s in me and makes my spirit fly.

Strawberry Jam is a hit, lemon marmalade, yummo, now if only I could make the fruit cake right, I will have won for this year.

And if I do not get a chance, thank you for being you and I hope something I shared was a benefit to your life with our father…

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My daughter is falling in love

My daughter has been the most challenging of my children thus far. But she sent me a txt and it said, Hi mum I am out and in love with our Lord and Savior.

Yes my darling child had to be stopped and locked up for a time, what did I do, let her come to the end of herself and said the Lord was the only one who could be there for her in the end.

Now this was extremely hard once upon a time, but not when you trust him, knowing full well that because of the work that my mother did before she died, then put into place my place with the father, and my work and desire for him will carry onto her. We are very strong women who need to run out of the WE factor and get to the point of, I want for him alone, then he can build on us. The ground work needs to be done right, laying that solid foundation, now he can erect what he chooses for my life and hers.

I pray these words are very true, for time is running out and the end time is here, so when we are challenged we have to stand strong for him against those who will be used by the enemy.

I see this road my daughter chose as her training and her mandate is to speak to the young so they don’t repeat her history, she will have the experience that will turn those around, I know it for sure. To find there place in the journey with our father, for he is waiting with love for all….

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My heart is crying out for those who are luke warm

When I wake in the morning I make a cuppa and sit back in bed, read my healing scriptures and the word.

Recently I finished Hebrews and now I am reading Revelations, what is on my heart is the luke warm.

How long do you think they have, having to face my reality everything has become more heightened and clear. My passion for knowing the father is more, not because I have to thank him by spending my spare time with him. But judgement day, its becoming very clear that many are facing this and those who are suffering because of sickness, ultimately there is no need for it.

Healing is with the father, protection, love, life, so often I see people who think OK. I have been given this advice from the doctor and I have so long to go, wait a minute, do not put me on a timer. God is the only one who can give me my out clause.

I have a very long road to go yet and people need to know, it was not because I am lucky or a trick, its because of my father saving my life. I have a destiny and no one can tell me otherwise.

Please I pray that if your on that wall, get down come with me and put him at the very front of your life.

Ages ago I said to my father that I would put my children aside for he was the most important, now he just reminded me of this and explains my sons reaction or lack there of. Nothing is more important than him, I have to do this, he is my father and I grew up knowing about respect, honour and truth, so my end is my choice as to where I am going to be.

And I want sunship….

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A time to come

Very soon the world will try what is written but I know he will keep me safe for I want the sun glory.

I want to be able to move where he needs me to be and do what he wants me to do, without limitations.

I understand the growing desire within me and I am more and more humbled by him choosing ME.

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Keep it simple and trust him

So many people are half hearted or half assed as the country girl in me would say. I do not mean to be crash but sometimes you have to hit between the eyes.

I keep it simple, he loves me and has never given me cause to NOT trust him or his word. So I just do what it says in his word, I show the world and others him in me, because I love him so very much.

I am humbled and grateful for his love and protection over my life, and that is because he knows my heart is his. Yes I have love for others, but nothing like the love I have for him.

Nothing compares to him and never will…

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I give him all the GLORY

Its funny but I really do know him more and more each day.

And with the final result of 100% benign, only with him is this result so. I know beyond any doubt that if I wasn’t all in with God and surrendered and stuck to where I am. Then the outcome would have been very different.

I am learning my new body, what I use to think was normal was so very not. But each day I feel a little more like the person who was trapped inside and I give him Glory for it.

Oh Lord, how do I count the ways that I love you. I pray this message is read by many and it gives them reason to believe, I said that I would not accept anything but keyhole surgery and he did it, I believed his word not doctors and he came through.

I had no doubt that my father would see me through, I asked that he make me ready for my husband and I know its been hard and very painful. But it had to happen, I am getting very excited to finally be able to live the way I was destined to do.

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He is on my side, through it all…

Its very humbling and evident, I asked for the problem to be fixed and he made a way.

I wanted to come out of the shadows and be able to loose weight, dress the way I always liked, wear makeup and get out of trackies and baggy cloths.

I want so very badly to finally be able to live a life, be married to a wonderful man that the Lord has for me and be without pain and bleeding. I keep remembering the woman with the issue of blood, oh Lord to feel energy again is something I am looking forward too, I feel so drained and worn out.

The other day I had a nap and woke up feeling like the operation day was here, I got really nervous and anxious but then realised what the enemy was trying to do. I am in my fathers hands, he will not fail me.

To finally be able to walk not only down my street but around the block is a mission I am looking forward too. To be able to move again and not be restricted in anyway, all I keep thinking is hallelujah.

I am trying to keep my mind off the week after, deal with it when it comes is my view. Don’t panic unless you have too, but remain calm at all times.

I wish at times likes these I had someone really close to me, but this is also a blessing time, because my father is there and my angel. This is a time to really know where your place is with him and its not as bad as anybody thinks.

He just gave me a word, if he is with me, who can stand against me… thanks Dad