This heading is so simple to me, if I can do some good for a stranger, by sharing what I go through.

Then I win, if I wanted you to see me, I would have posted my photo.

But that is not the message I am trying to convey.

The msg is simple, if something I write helps, then I have done a good job.

I use to be told, tears are a sign of weakness and you never show weakness. What a lie, you should be able to wash out your eyes and share.

I keep flipping the switch on words and I win again and again, but not for me, for my dad.

GOD…

Today like many mum’s I think of both of my children.

But in the circumstances and no contact, I decided to make an effort and give to someone else.

I am not perfect, but I am not a monster either.

I ask only that the father steps in and corrects the wrong.

Today I have been singing a song, and tears keep welling in my eyes.

Because, I mean them, it may just seem like a general song but, I do fall deeper and deeper in love with my Lord.

I realised that when I met someone in my past, they thought I would cheat on them. So they attached me, words like, putting chook shit (makeup) on your face or going out tarting.

When all I wanted to do was feel good and make the person want to be seen with me.

Because of the love I feel now, I know time will come when I finally get back that feeling before nasty words tried to shut me down.

I wash them with the blood of Jesus, for I am better than that. And I have asked to get healthy, so the time will come.

All I have to do is hold onto my faith and follow his instruction.

Today, I did not do much but feel like my light shone.

I cannot write what I mean, but I hope you understand, wherever you are.

When the news keeps telling me things, I praise him in my heart.

When darkness tries to pull you down, if that is to do with money or anything else, let your light shine and hand it to dad, he will give you the steps.

Nothing is so large that it cannot be broken down and managed.

From one who knows, this is so very true.

When you smile, others smile with you.

When you laugh, others laugh with you.

When you do something and someone notices, then says, what can I do your so nice. I say pay it forward.

So breed some happiness, laugh, make a joke.

I do not want to be a skinny model, or be dripping in diamonds.

I want to appreciate every breath, every moment and learn, then apply it to my life.

Do it, you get more than you give…

This is something we have all seem to have forgotten.

When we work so hard to have finance, then blow it.

We need to do as we were trained many years ago, a little splurge is fine. But you must put most of it away.

A new house is nice, but really do you need it, a roof over your head is all you need.

Food in your belly and clothed, when did we get so caught up with having to have it all.

Their are things I would love to have, but I know my father knows the desires of my heart.

So all I have to do is keep him in my front thought and things will fall into place.

I stopped fretting many years ago about what I did not have and striving for things, but that is just it, things.

He is most important and the best thing I ever received from my mother was how to make something last, how to stretch and how to manage money.

And be happy with just that, I know I do not have to keep up with the Jones’s I have more than they ever will, so find your peace.

Know dad will add, when you get your mind, heart and spirit right.

So many lies have been told, so many empty words.

But as I sit here I know one thing, I will not be condemned for my past.

So many have thought they knew me, but really they only know what they want too.

I am a really nice person, I have not got a mean bone in my body.

What I do have is tenacity, when I know beyond any doubt I am right, I will make a stand.

That is not a bad thing, I was reminded of when I was young, my mum would always speak for me and answer anyone. I remember a lady came to our house when I was 8 and thought I was a visitor, no one ever saw me unless at school. It was safer that way.

I was shown how I always would automatically say yes, but inside scream NO. But I was really quiet, now I am not, but only when its required.

I am writing this thinking about things, its funny you grow up learning from watching, but what if you don’t see things, I never saw my mother have any friends it was not allowed.

I never knew her to keep in contact until her last years because she never was around it. I know some things I do is because I never knew how.

But you know what, I am here when required and in this weird time, I find I am not alone. So I do not feel lonely, I don’t miss hugs because I never got one.

So when your feeling  certain things call on him, keep busy.

I finally finished something I started 35 yrs ago. Be safe be smart and do not disdain his instruction.