I have always had a mind that works a million miles an hour.

It goes off in 1000 different ways while thinking of one thing.

I go to someone’s home and redecorate while they make me a cuppa, always been that way. The ability to move things around before you lift a thing.

So I have been finding things to do in my home that have been on hold.

Crocheting has been a good therapy but I have over done it again. I found all these bits and pieces so I have gone on the attack.

I have made rugs and scarfs every time someone comes over I offer them one.

I really need to get a job Lord, I always work on the old saying never have idle hands. You know the one!!

I was having a little melt down.

I hate letting anyone down, if I am asked to do something and it isn’t right, I go into melt down internally.

Why, because I feel that I failed them, when they counted on me. A lot of people would think, what is the big deal. You asked me, trusted me to provide and I didn’t do, what you required of me.

Yes, I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I always believe that if I don’t, then what sort of person will be ready when my father calls.

Everything matters, I care deeply about those I love and I do not want to disappoint them. I have a really soft heart, that at times I must protect, but its honest and open, ready for what my father has for me.

So yesterday when I found some things also came back from my online course that needed tweaking, I melted and cried, but had to let it out and a dear friend was here to pray with me. What a treasure of God, there is definitely a right time for everything.

I have to trust in my father, he will lead me through. My care is not mine, I put it into his hands.

At this moment I feel this overwhelming love for you.

A real love, not lustful or murky.

Just real and honest, the way I like it.

I have you on my heart and just know that someone out their knows who you are.

Remember God knows all. And he loves you XXXXOOOOO

It’s so very sad, I sit here with tears in my eyes.

My father has called time and time again to give his chosen people a chance and they have turned away.

He cannot waste anymore time, and I cannot sit here wasting mine. (Meaning I have to spend time with my father and pray)

You have a decision to make, its yours alone.

What are you going to say on judgement day?? Or is hell your destination??

My father’s word is in black and white, he has no grey areas.

You cannot manipulate him for your personal benefit, he sees all and all I can finish on is, God help you.

I was woken up this morning by my neighbour, he was getting ready to leave for work, usually I don’t hear him it was 5.40AM. This morning there was bang, crash and some other noise.

Some people would get grumpy, not me, I thought I hope he has a good day. Next out will be his partner, then I was wondering when she goes to work.

When I hoped back into bed I just lay their thinking about things, I have part of a song that keeps going through my head.

“Now in him, now in him I live, (some other part is) by the blood he sacrificed” the last few days another part of a song has been going over and over “I was born to walk with you lord all the way (repeat).

To be born to walk with him all the way, it hit me. That is what I am meant to do, there is no other option for me. I am meant to walk with my father Jesus as he walked the way for his father God.

I know I will never get to be so pure and good as Jesus was when he began his walk, but I know that I will try my best. Its funny but since then, I have felt a peace and have been happy with excitement on a level that I cannot explain.

It’s a beautiful day, daffodils are out showing us that winter is coming to an end, with that I am so happy.

For there is always a time and season with my father, he never rushes, he has a set time.

Be blessed.

One more thing before I go, I am having a food for thought day.

What kills more people and is silent, its sneaks up on you when you least expect it?

It costs you more than anything else and keep hospitals full.

SUGAR – SALT – FAT

Yes those three little words, sugar ends up giving you heart disease as well as a long list of other problems.

Salt, retains water etc etc etc.

Fat, whether fast food or in the home, hidden in what we buy as a convenience.

Yes we hear smoking kills, tobacco leaves were created for insect killer NOT YOU. And we wonder why they end up getting cancer.

Do you love yourself? Do you love your family? Do you want to change what you have been trained to do?

If so then you are smart enough to know what to do.

As you can see by my blogs I am having a day, where I need to ask the question. Or am I the only one who gets it.

Recently we had a message that hit home. PRIDE, the message is always the same, are you doing things because you want the acknowledgement or are you just being prideful.

Yes this hit a chord with me, and I had to do a reality check. But can you see how wonderful timing this was.

With this blog I have had to keep checking my heart, to make sure I am giving him the voice not me. But him through me, because we are supposed to be his vessels.

So yes I have felt to lick a few wounds, but this is all part of the process of change. And change is what I have been going through, I even attacked my home to remove all unwanted stuff.

Trust me if you’re not using it and it’s just their, its stuff so pass it onto someone else, or get some money for it. You will feel so much better, or you can look at it this way (thank you father) sometimes things that may have even a sentimental attachment may be holding you back.

One thing I have learned the past is just that PASSED and the future is yours, just step forward and don’t look back.

Be brave and remember their is nothing to stop you, but you.

Last night I was having trouble sleeping, so I was thinking of a checklist.

What value do I have? What have I learnt about myself in the 8 years I have been in God’s house, what has changed or been improved?

A white lie or embellished truth, is a lie and I choose to confront and tell only the truth.
Honesty leads you into integrity.

If someone is in front of you and frustrates you, then look at yourself, what part of your flesh needs to be confronted and changed? Most of the time it’s you, not them.

I have found out if God fixes something in me, then he has not finished. He built the house and he will furnish and decorate, not you.

Surrender every part of yourself, he will do the rest. Be willing and don’t fight it. It’s like child-birth, don’t prolong it, push through and work with the pain.

One major thing I have learnt is, I am not the fixer. No one is going to get angry, or hit anyone, I am safe and it is OK.

I always thought, if I could fix something or help someone, there would be peace. WRONG, this is something I was trained to act out, growing up as a child. I am no longer that child, but I have learnt to keep watch, old habits die-hard.

If someone lives a certain way and needs help, I have to let him do it. If he asks me then yes I am here, but it is NOT UP TO ME to go ahead of him.

They have to find out themselves, it’s their journey, not mine. I have to look at me and work with my father for the improvements, everything has a time and season.

I am not bog filla (that I thought I was), if I don’t do anything, the world won’t stop. It’s ok to let them fall, just concentrate on me, he is trying to teach me, not them.

Took a while to get this, but finally I got it.

And I am a person who can be trusted and counted on, that’s my value to date.

I amazed how many of you are reading this blog and that makes me smile.

So thank you.

My Pastor has her birthday today, as I have said before she is like a dear mother, best friend and more all rolled into one.

Its her birthday today, so if she reads this HAPPY BIRTHDAY may the lord give you the desires of your heart and every blessing he has for you and more today.

If anyone else is reading this I pray you have the opportunity to have someone so precious in your life.

You are definitely, Gods gorgeous red-head and his valentine.

God bless, all my love Bronie XXXXXOOOOO