Last night I was having trouble sleeping, so I was thinking of a checklist.

What value do I have? What have I learnt about myself in the 8 years I have been in God’s house, what has changed or been improved?

A white lie or embellished truth, is a lie and I choose to confront and tell only the truth.
Honesty leads you into integrity.

If someone is in front of you and frustrates you, then look at yourself, what part of your flesh needs to be confronted and changed? Most of the time it’s you, not them.

I have found out if God fixes something in me, then he has not finished. He built the house and he will furnish and decorate, not you.

Surrender every part of yourself, he will do the rest. Be willing and don’t fight it. It’s like child-birth, don’t prolong it, push through and work with the pain.

One major thing I have learnt is, I am not the fixer. No one is going to get angry, or hit anyone, I am safe and it is OK.

I always thought, if I could fix something or help someone, there would be peace. WRONG, this is something I was trained to act out, growing up as a child. I am no longer that child, but I have learnt to keep watch, old habits die-hard.

If someone lives a certain way and needs help, I have to let him do it. If he asks me then yes I am here, but it is NOT UP TO ME to go ahead of him.

They have to find out themselves, it’s their journey, not mine. I have to look at me and work with my father for the improvements, everything has a time and season.

I am not bog filla (that I thought I was), if I don’t do anything, the world won’t stop. It’s ok to let them fall, just concentrate on me, he is trying to teach me, not them.

Took a while to get this, but finally I got it.

And I am a person who can be trusted and counted on, that’s my value to date.