Yesterday, I was again having a moment

I was having a little melt down.

I hate letting anyone down, if I am asked to do something and it isn’t right, I go into melt down internally.

Why, because I feel that I failed them, when they counted on me. A lot of people would think, what is the big deal. You asked me, trusted me to provide and I didn’t do, what you required of me.

Yes, I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I always believe that if I don’t, then what sort of person will be ready when my father calls.

Everything matters, I care deeply about those I love and I do not want to disappoint them. I have a really soft heart, that at times I must protect, but its honest and open, ready for what my father has for me.

So yesterday when I found some things also came back from my online course that needed tweaking, I melted and cried, but had to let it out and a dear friend was here to pray with me. What a treasure of God, there is definitely a right time for everything.

I have to trust in my father, he will lead me through. My care is not mine, I put it into his hands.

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