I think its funny, but also inspiring that every day, if your paying attention and in every way you can learn.

Something my mother once said, before she died, “Bronie you never stop learning“.

I think she was surprised at the words, even as she was voicing them. But it is so true, like the other day with the horses, I learnt to face fear head on.

Now I never again expected to be that close to a horse, so I just went about my days not thinking about, fear.

But that day I learnt more about myself than any other that week. I grew that little bit more and laughed along the way.

Like today went to a class, two young men said, they didn’t eat breakfast. The doctors are on to them about their health issues, ones response was I am fit, I can run (yada yada yada).

They missed the point entirely, you not eating the nutrition, your missing the point. What you are doing is justifying your actions, so you can continue. You have blinkers on and you cannot see the leaves for the trees.

The point is breakfast is important, why because it is, breaking the fast.

You fast over night and your body gets rid of the waste when you wake up, so it needs refuelling. That’s it, no excuses, no comment, it is what it is.

I think sometimes I am the only one to see the obvious, this reminds me of the day I was watching a program. Professionals were asked what is wet? Simple I thought, WATER. They named everything but.

I have someone staying with me for a while, they needed a place and this is Gods house, so I made room.

It’s only for a short time and you never know what lesson you can learn, even from this.

Well here goes what I got up too, the person has horses, to get something moving a hospital visit was required (not by me). The day was expected to be quiet warm, so as not to delay anymore than necessary, I said I would do what was required.

What was that, to remove a winter rug off the horse, now you have to understand when I was younger, married and living in the world. I helped out with my then husband and worked on a dairy farm. Yes me, who hates dirt, muck, yes I know, how do I get myself into these situations.

Anyway, on that farm the owners brother owned the connecting farm. His daughter wanted a horse, it use to bite and so it was left in a paddock without any love or anyone to ride, I felt sorry for it.

Shouldn’t have, one day out on a ride it tried to throw me off. Been scared ever since, wasn’t all that confident to begin with.

So back to the other day, I was given vague directions, got to the point of “God help me” find these horses. So brain storm, wind down the windows and call their names, shock one of them called back. LOL

That was fine until I saw the size of the alpha female, OMG this horse, I have since been told is of German breeding and no joke is huge. First melt down, I thought, oh god I was scared before I saw the size of the big one. Blood draining to my shoes, sweat pouring out of feet and palms. And another OMG, how am I going to do this.

Being me I thought, I said I would, so I am gonna, then I am saying to myself, yes out loud (trying to calm my nerves) “father please help me”.

Now these horses are used in the equestrian Paralympic events, they know certain commands. But you have to know that I was lucky my legs were working at all. I took out a carrot each and sugar cubes, but left them outside the paddock until I had finished (told them they had to be good to get them) in a small plastic bag.

When I was next to the big horse with a fence between me and it, I thought what was I thinking, obviously not at all. I let the horse smell me and said calming words mostly for my benefit. I was told the big one, was nosey and pushy, great that’s all I needed, breath in out. Oh god, I think I heard somewhere they can smell fear, oh god.

Yes I am laughing, now. So into the paddock I go, with, fear belongs to the devil, I have no fear through Christ who strengthens me.

OMG, once in the paddock, the big one decided to find out what I was doing and tried to follow me. Oh lord, I was ready to curl up in a ball. I turned to the big one and said back that didn’t work, so a high pitch NO, then the horse thought ok I will see how far I can go with her, two more steps towards me.

I turned faced her and freaked internally, I thought they are like big dogs (take authority, then run), so another strong NO, STOP and STAND, followed by another NO for good measure.

All I can say is thank god she did as she was told, so onto the one with the blanket. I said Flair stand, the horse didn’t move, thank you lord, I let her smell me then I gently patted her nose.

I was told she was sensitive on her chest and that she may make her lips move as if she was going to bite me, but that it was just her letting me know, which she did, I took one step back and said I promise I will not hurt you, I will be really gentle, I promise you.

Keeping the corner of my eye peeled on the other one while I moved forward to start on the clips. Ever so gently one by one, then I found out she had two blankets on, oh lord give me strength (my knees were very much shaking by that time).

Not knowing their were three clips under her belly, I kept going asking the horse what else I needed to do (still trying to calm myself by talking out loud). Pushed the top one-off, the relief that I saw in the horses eyes was, thank god, onto the next blanket, which had been on all winter, but was tied on. It was stiff, locked into place, gently I tried to wiggle it free enough to undo it, the horse moved a little, but I kept saying just stand, auntie’s nearly finished.

Blanket two off, yippee, then I looked down, oh no, clips still to go between the back legs, so I kept talking to the horse and said ok just need to undo these, just stand, good horse.

Then I look at the horse and realised she had a shoulder cover on, oh god no clips what do I do, talking to the horse, (anyone watching and listening would have been on the floor laughing so hard) ok we have to go over the head, ok here we go over the head.

She was brilliant, so quiet, she must have sensed how nervous I was and that I was gentle. Ok I looked down blanket on the ground ok, no one told me how to make her move, so here I am waving to her to move, nothing, so ok, flair walk, she stepped away from the blankets. Hallelujah

I picked everything up, checked to make sure I didn’t have to go back, threw the blankets over the fence. Then I went to the little gate and it took a bit to open because I was shaking, once I re-latched it again. I walked over to my car keys on the ground and bent over like a person who had just run a marathon.

I had to take a few minutes for the blood to run back up to my head.

I gave them their treats, thought yuk, horse drool. But said thank you father and drove home, with such relief.

Yes I admit, I was still shaking when I got home, I cleaned my hands and wanted a shower but didn’t trust my legs.

So, I thought, I need to calm down, I remembered a small amount of Mascato wine in the fridge, didn’t even get a glass, I downed the last and laid down.

I over came, did what I said I would do, honoured my word.

But I am not (in no way shape or form) doing that again.

Ok, hope you can laugh at this, I know I can.

Just to explain my absence the father has been working on me a lot.

The only way to work through it fast is to just make it your main focus.

So I have been away for a while but I have grown and changed, I think anyway.

I have made a decision that in this blog, I am going to add some fun things I get up too.

To show you my funny side and to hopefully make you laugh a little.

So keep watching this space you just never know what I might get up too. LOL

I have been thinking wrong, the devil has put doubt in and I ran with it.

I am my father’s daughter, I have all power and authority.

You idiot (I am talking to myself), what are you doing get MOVING.

Change can only happen when you move.

OMG, sometimes I need a tape to go over and over to wake myself up.

Or a cricket bat spiritually to hit me with. LOL

I am laughing again, gotta go, I feel the need for speed.

You know, how I have commented about my father, that he has the time and season for everything.

I have felt like I have been in a winter period (spiritually that is). I know that Spring is about to come through and that was prophesied the other night.

He is very mindful of me at the moment and I need him more than ever. The time is now, I have one focus and one focus only, that is my father, with that, I hold on tight and never want, to let go.

Everyone is going through something, at the same time, I was grieved since last Tuesday I did not know why until the other night. I can feel the cry of my father and the pain of the lost. All I know is the work I have done to date, must follow into the next generation, they cannot change that destiny.

My father will step in at the right time for them to come into his presence. But I cannot wait for that, I have to keep going and keep my only focus on him. I keep saying to myself and anyone else there days are numbered he knows the right time.

The impact and weight of my father’s heart is very big on me, so that is the reason for these blogs.

He wants only the very best, but people keep doing the absolute worst. He needs us to stand up and raise ourselves to shake off the old and cross over to the other side.

I know that he needs me, this is a battle for my eternal life.

Q:  What must you do if your on a ride that flips upside down and turns sharply?

A: You hang on for dear life, until it pulls up at the end.

Its not rocket science!!!

You know when doubt comes in or you may feel hopeless.

These are battles with the enemy that need to be won. He is trying to put you down and move you out.

If you never have to push through and win then you never will grow. That is something I know for sure.

I must keep going there is no other option, victory will be mine.

This I have posted around my house: The favour of God is on me, the favour of god surrounds me and the favour of god goes before me. I have access to the throne of divine favour and in that time of need that favour comes my way.

Every time I read this I feel different, glory be to god my father.

I have always had a mind that works a million miles an hour.

It goes off in 1000 different ways while thinking of one thing.

I go to someone’s home and redecorate while they make me a cuppa, always been that way. The ability to move things around before you lift a thing.

So I have been finding things to do in my home that have been on hold.

Crocheting has been a good therapy but I have over done it again. I found all these bits and pieces so I have gone on the attack.

I have made rugs and scarfs every time someone comes over I offer them one.

I really need to get a job Lord, I always work on the old saying never have idle hands. You know the one!!

I was having a little melt down.

I hate letting anyone down, if I am asked to do something and it isn’t right, I go into melt down internally.

Why, because I feel that I failed them, when they counted on me. A lot of people would think, what is the big deal. You asked me, trusted me to provide and I didn’t do, what you required of me.

Yes, I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I always believe that if I don’t, then what sort of person will be ready when my father calls.

Everything matters, I care deeply about those I love and I do not want to disappoint them. I have a really soft heart, that at times I must protect, but its honest and open, ready for what my father has for me.

So yesterday when I found some things also came back from my online course that needed tweaking, I melted and cried, but had to let it out and a dear friend was here to pray with me. What a treasure of God, there is definitely a right time for everything.

I have to trust in my father, he will lead me through. My care is not mine, I put it into his hands.