Funny side of me..

I have someone staying with me for a while, they needed a place and this is Gods house, so I made room.

It’s only for a short time and you never know what lesson you can learn, even from this.

Well here goes what I got up too, the person has horses, to get something moving a hospital visit was required (not by me). The day was expected to be quiet warm, so as not to delay anymore than necessary, I said I would do what was required.

What was that, to remove a winter rug off the horse, now you have to understand when I was younger, married and living in the world. I helped out with my then husband and worked on a dairy farm. Yes me, who hates dirt, muck, yes I know, how do I get myself into these situations.

Anyway, on that farm the owners brother owned the connecting farm. His daughter wanted a horse, it use to bite and so it was left in a paddock without any love or anyone to ride, I felt sorry for it.

Shouldn’t have, one day out on a ride it tried to throw me off. Been scared ever since, wasn’t all that confident to begin with.

So back to the other day, I was given vague directions, got to the point of “God help me” find these horses. So brain storm, wind down the windows and call their names, shock one of them called back. LOL

That was fine until I saw the size of the alpha female, OMG this horse, I have since been told is of German breeding and no joke is huge. First melt down, I thought, oh god I was scared before I saw the size of the big one. Blood draining to my shoes, sweat pouring out of feet and palms. And another OMG, how am I going to do this.

Being me I thought, I said I would, so I am gonna, then I am saying to myself, yes out loud (trying to calm my nerves) “father please help me”.

Now these horses are used in the equestrian Paralympic events, they know certain commands. But you have to know that I was lucky my legs were working at all. I took out a carrot each and sugar cubes, but left them outside the paddock until I had finished (told them they had to be good to get them) in a small plastic bag.

When I was next to the big horse with a fence between me and it, I thought what was I thinking, obviously not at all. I let the horse smell me and said calming words mostly for my benefit. I was told the big one, was nosey and pushy, great that’s all I needed, breath in out. Oh god, I think I heard somewhere they can smell fear, oh god.

Yes I am laughing, now. So into the paddock I go, with, fear belongs to the devil, I have no fear through Christ who strengthens me.

OMG, once in the paddock, the big one decided to find out what I was doing and tried to follow me. Oh lord, I was ready to curl up in a ball. I turned to the big one and said back that didn’t work, so a high pitch NO, then the horse thought ok I will see how far I can go with her, two more steps towards me.

I turned faced her and freaked internally, I thought they are like big dogs (take authority, then run), so another strong NO, STOP and STAND, followed by another NO for good measure.

All I can say is thank god she did as she was told, so onto the one with the blanket. I said Flair stand, the horse didn’t move, thank you lord, I let her smell me then I gently patted her nose.

I was told she was sensitive on her chest and that she may make her lips move as if she was going to bite me, but that it was just her letting me know, which she did, I took one step back and said I promise I will not hurt you, I will be really gentle, I promise you.

Keeping the corner of my eye peeled on the other one while I moved forward to start on the clips. Ever so gently one by one, then I found out she had two blankets on, oh lord give me strength (my knees were very much shaking by that time).

Not knowing their were three clips under her belly, I kept going asking the horse what else I needed to do (still trying to calm myself by talking out loud). Pushed the top one-off, the relief that I saw in the horses eyes was, thank god, onto the next blanket, which had been on all winter, but was tied on. It was stiff, locked into place, gently I tried to wiggle it free enough to undo it, the horse moved a little, but I kept saying just stand, auntie’s nearly finished.

Blanket two off, yippee, then I looked down, oh no, clips still to go between the back legs, so I kept talking to the horse and said ok just need to undo these, just stand, good horse.

Then I look at the horse and realised she had a shoulder cover on, oh god no clips what do I do, talking to the horse, (anyone watching and listening would have been on the floor laughing so hard) ok we have to go over the head, ok here we go over the head.

She was brilliant, so quiet, she must have sensed how nervous I was and that I was gentle. Ok I looked down blanket on the ground ok, no one told me how to make her move, so here I am waving to her to move, nothing, so ok, flair walk, she stepped away from the blankets. Hallelujah

I picked everything up, checked to make sure I didn’t have to go back, threw the blankets over the fence. Then I went to the little gate and it took a bit to open because I was shaking, once I re-latched it again. I walked over to my car keys on the ground and bent over like a person who had just run a marathon.

I had to take a few minutes for the blood to run back up to my head.

I gave them their treats, thought yuk, horse drool. But said thank you father and drove home, with such relief.

Yes I admit, I was still shaking when I got home, I cleaned my hands and wanted a shower but didn’t trust my legs.

So, I thought, I need to calm down, I remembered a small amount of Mascato wine in the fridge, didn’t even get a glass, I downed the last and laid down.

I over came, did what I said I would do, honoured my word.

But I am not (in no way shape or form) doing that again.

Ok, hope you can laugh at this, I know I can.


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