So many lies have been told, so many empty words.

But as I sit here I know one thing, I will not be condemned for my past.

So many have thought they knew me, but really they only know what they want too.

I am a really nice person, I have not got a mean bone in my body.

What I do have is tenacity, when I know beyond any doubt I am right, I will make a stand.

That is not a bad thing, I was reminded of when I was young, my mum would always speak for me and answer anyone. I remember a lady came to our house when I was 8 and thought I was a visitor, no one ever saw me unless at school. It was safer that way.

I was shown how I always would automatically say yes, but inside scream NO. But I was really quiet, now I am not, but only when its required.

I am writing this thinking about things, its funny you grow up learning from watching, but what if you don’t see things, I never saw my mother have any friends it was not allowed.

I never knew her to keep in contact until her last years because she never was around it. I know some things I do is because I never knew how.

But you know what, I am here when required and in this weird time, I find I am not alone. So I do not feel lonely, I don’t miss hugs because I never got one.

So when your feeling  certain things call on him, keep busy.

I finally finished something I started 35 yrs ago. Be safe be smart and do not disdain his instruction.