At Christmas I get very teary, why you may ask.

Because of where my children are at, I cannot choose between them. So because circumstances I have Christmas alone, luckily I have friends who invited me for lunch. But I have to admit I would dearly love my table, surrounded by family, loving what I cooked for them, full of laughter and fun.

But I never regret my decision to follow the Lord, he is my top priority and I cannot choose anything over him. Its not up to me anymore, its all him.

Somehow I struggle with finance as we all do, I have never had a credit card, and bills turn up right on Christmas. But this year, money kept stretching and stretching, which without my belief, it would not happen.

I pray, that my children come out of the hands of the enemy and return home with open hearts.

As a mum I always want to make things right, this time I had to be hard and stand up for myself, hardest thing but I still love my son.