Sometimes I may appear to have strength and other times I do not.
Having felt like the good year blimp, as I have said before, men never really saw me.
Lately I have had doors opened for me, they seem to be going out of their way to start-up a conversation. Its funny I have looked at them as if to question, why are you talking to me? Then the light bulb has gone on and I go Oh ok, it’s really weird, I freaked out the other day (In my head). Had to go look myself to see what others are seeing.
I keep thinking that I am his daughter and the right man he has already planned, just be nice but not overly friendly or flirtatious. It’s really hard, because before, I didn’t feel like a woman or feel comfortable in my own skin. Its weird even last night in bed I felt my side and realized my two rolls have gone.
Its like knowing the person you have been all along inside and the outside is finally coming into line. It’s like being reborn and lucky enough I am still young, but one of my personal wishes is to feel pretty. Yes its fine people tell me than when I put on makeup I am really attractive, but there is a difference to being told and feeling it.
Oh lord give me strength, I am struggling with this I will not lie. But I know what is coming so I am surrendering to the process.