I have been quiet, because things have been happening and he must come first.
I am blessed beyond measure, because of the decision and what I have said lately.
Someone asked me if I was looking for a Christian man, my answer. If you put Jesus as your best man, if you believe with everything in you and surrender it all to him, then NO MAN, can come close to him and where I am at, the path I have chosen to take, then I happy to be here, to finish the race and stand before him when my day comes. So I decided, to not entertain the option of a husband, I have one already.
Someone said, they saw me picking fluff off Jesus gown in heaven, anyone who knows me, knows I would do this, I am automatic when it comes to fluff, hair etc lol.
This morning I was reminded how, my Pastor’s wife use to have hands that instead of sweat, it would go gold, you might not believe it, but when the evidence is in front of you, you cannot deny it. And this morning a flick of it was on my hands.
I am coming to a place of such peace, peace in the knowledge that I have given all my desires, all my plans and all my wants over to him.
There is nothing that I want more, and I am at peace with where my children are at, because I cannot change their minds, but I can do what I must for me and my mandate.
Their lives and choices are what they have to answer for, but I am here to chat, if and when they run out of self-righteous steam and stop to ask. But I have to keep going, this drive to do everything I must, in the time I have and I will do, what I have to do, when I have to do it, without question.
That is the key I have found, why question your maker, the one, the only. YOUR NOT SMARTER THAN HE, so why waste time, yes I ask later and he answers me and that is OK, but teach yourself to do it, and it will become like second nature.
It is like me knowing when people are going, I have this responsibility to hold my tongue, but to be there as they need me, for those I know, but others who I hardly know, it is just OK, brace for impact. But what a burden, but also a great blessing, for him to trust me and for me to love him so much, that I can be trusted.
We always hear about relationship, I learned that the one with myself was important, what did I rely on myself to hold dear. For if I can hold my standard, then he can trust me, and having the trust of the father, boy, that is really really really BIG.
And for that, I am honored and I will hold my standard, because he needs me to do so.
That is one big thing lately, HOLD YOUR STANDARD, when the hail or rain comes as barbs etc, HOLD, STAND