I was brought up in a weird environment, lets just say some things that were deemed acceptable, should not have been.

Loving someone, but with rules or threats, is not normal.

You must show love, by a forced hug, or a card dated, or buying silence for lies told, trust me when I say, I saw all this as not normal, which it is not normal.

Hammering home, the you must, not giving freely, was done and in some cases, reins as still the same.

I now will not conform to this, and that is why, in many ways, family have dropped off my radar.

And that is OK, it is not acceptable to then go on the attack, it is not acceptable to manipulate, a tiny bit of truth to corrupt and cause a rift, and I will not get involved because, fighting is just what they want.

That is why I say, I love both my children, but I stand on my belief’s, if you love me, then love all of me.

I pray for those family members, that I know need peace, and I want that before they go. As my mum use to say, “your a long time dead” which she meant as, you need to get it right, get over yourself, while your living.

I love my two enough, to not use the fact I am their mum and pull strings, I am no body’s puppet or puppet master.

I accept, all I see and love them anyway, but if they cannot, I accept that too.

I have learned that you love and say, thank you when you mean it, you show love, when you feel it. I have found that letting go, of what people think you should do, is a far better way to live.

So as I sit here, I love the father, and for that if I am persecuted for it, OK accepted. Many have things they dwell on, and their life gets consumed by it, and I pray that does not carry on.

A life of joy, peace and love is worth far more.