Sometimes I might seem a hermit, but really I love my time with him. I dislike noise and going out, I liked less planes because they fly over and make noise and peace was a real gift.

I am blessed everyday, because of the peace and quiet, I hear a laugh or feel him smile.

I feel many times a friendship between us, he sees me, when I am at my best and when I am at my worst, and still he loves me.

When I wake up, I try and plan my day, to get as much done, with as little amount of pain as possible, either that day or that night or next day.

He showed me why I have it, and trust me when I say, it will go… I feel it coming.

I love it when, the whole day is spent with him, its like having a friend walking along side of you and it goes so fast.

But boy, do I feel so very blessed, nothing in this world means more to me.

He is my beginning and my end and everything else is not as important, I really do wish those with wealth all the best, for they always seem to loose the plot, or everyone wants to know them. Their reality gets bent out of shape, and they have no real direction, they always seem to be to be flags flying in the wind, but not really doing anything, but showing what they are.

I hope I make sense here, I watch many become wealthy and they spend, spend, spend. Why, yes I would like to own where I live, but I do not want a mansion, or jewels or Bentley’s. Good grief, a car is a car (I do not need to own a Mercedes to be worth something), if I had the chance I would like to find Jesse, Jesse was an old car we were in, when we escaped hell, for freedom, that is because of heart, not worldly value of the car now.

It always has to be with heart, heart is, what he sees in me, he knows mine, for he has full access.

When it comes to things of the world, I don’t need to impress anyone, and I certainly do not need fame. I write because I want my journey to inspire someone, or help in a small way. But you don’t need to see me, because my voice is finally found and when he says to use it, whether it be via this blog or verbally, I am ready and waiting…

God bless to all

Last week I found even outside patterns talking to people, the word assumption kept coming up.

People who assume, if you having your third baby, then there will be no problem, oh I assume you wanted it.

I find all the time patterns, doesn’t matter, if I am shopping or watching TV, a pattern will arise.

It is like going back another week, and the lord says to me, the appearance of what is seen and the evidence is different, then following that, it came up again and again.

It is like being a parent, you see your adult children and they show, the appearance of good behaviour, then the evidence is completely different, once out of sight. I learn’t long ago, to watch and listen, to watch and wait, for the evidence will show in the end.

And in the mean time, the hardest thing is to sit tight, and do nothing, I believe that the Lord is working on my behalf, and stepping in, because I am their mother is completely the wrong thing to do, for I would rather, show I trust him and for the lesson to be short, than a long drawn out process.

The pattern of behaviour, has been evident through the years, but I choose to change the course, I refuse to just tag along, because I am told too. If there is no heart, then it it worthless action, to me.

Your heart and that of the next generation must be in it, money and all material things are always there in the world, but they must be worthless, and your worth must shine through the darkness.

I love my two and I trust all the good that I once did, will count for something. Yes I made mistakes, and I have owned them, but I will not be held down, because of the past, I once decided to only move forward. Why, because if you keep going back, you never move, in any direction, you just become stuck.

I am not hard (I have such a big heart, but I am no body’s fool), but I refuse to be held back, words others have used accuse me, no longer hold, because you have to be guilty, to be held, don’t you? Lies are the enemy’s, and I won’t partake of that anymore, if that is all they have, god bless them.

For my pattern, is now set by the father, his blue print is my main aim, if none of my family chooses to join me, that is their choice, I have given all I have, and I am humbled in the knowledge that I am his. No, I am definitely, not a nut job christian.

As I told a lady in a shop, I don’t care if I am politically incorrect, I am God correct.

Its funny how I went in for a new broom and shovel set, and came out glorifying the father. I went off like a cracker in all the good ways, she was so inspired, she said, “your so cute, and so right” I told her, no he’s right. I am alive because of him, I live for him and I am a walking miracle because of him and his love for me…

yeehaa…