At this time of year, I think about the year that was, how everything worked together for my good.

You see, it’s not about the trials and tribulations of life, it is about what you have learned. What are you going to take into 2026.

I know in the coming year, I have a new car on the horizon. I was getting dressed yesterday and the Lord said this, “be open to change”.

When I was growing up, big decisions were squashed, judgement on nearly everything and finding fault were top of the list. This I have been working on stopping, because it rules your life and you’re not happy, but can be a miserable human being.

As we progress to the end and the neighbours are trying out their fireworks on and off, one thing I am glad about is that I don’t have to stress about getting my pet inside, so they don’t freak out.

What has come into your life this year, that you have learned, I am sure there is heaps that you could take forward.

Mine is this, I saw my sibling the other day and I had nothing, but I did have to change my view when I saw what she was wearing and I started to judge, because it is not my place, so a correction on myself was needed. And in some ways, I felt sad, for her little life.

But moving forward, I have been looking at Mercedes, there are some around quite cheap. But I don’t think I will, I am waiting on the father, he knows and he will put it in front of me, right now. I know how everything shuts up for the holiday and nothing can be done until January, especially when all the kids start school.

I am as ready as I can be, getting deliveries done, which has been a life saver, I dislike crowds and I feel blessed by all the help I have gotten; I have had to stay put with a blood clot and cyst in my knee.

New horizons are opening up and I am well pleased moving forward into what is coming in 2026.

May the Lord hear your prayers, may he grant you the answers and know you are blessed whatever happens, keep safe and merry christmas and a safe and happy new year from me.

Finding more and more that every day is a new day to learn a lesson.

It may not be big, but really small, but all lessons are for learning and taking note of.

I am the sort of person who will find phone numbers, I will pray and use every avenue to get an answer. This is something in my full-time position, that helped get my boss into a meeting at parliament house, something now one else could do.

I have emailed the head of telco companies and heads of industry that have a gate keeper of an admin that no one has been given information before.

I know from experience, that no door is fully closed, you just need to be creative. I have typed up highly sensitive information before and never taken in or read the notes as a whole. It is something I can do, so people know I am trustworthy.

Yesterday, I was thinking about the office in the city, the board room needed art, and I knew the colours and what was needed but also, not in the budget for a non-profit organisation.

So, I got the reds, brown etc and managed to make a painting that I called “Hidden”. I remember when I took it in to hang it, my boss asked about the picture. I told him it was needed and its mine, he was shocked, then in awe because he asked about my art. I was thinking about how I would set up the meeting room, and how I knew those who had food allergies and kept note.

I would turn up at 7.30am for an early meeting all dressed in my suit, they were mainly board members but to me it was professional for me to be there. I used to work on the train home, work from home, change flights, I did almost everything.

I had to list my duties on a form the other day, National Office Manager, Database Manager, Village Membership Manager, PA to the CEO, Receptionist, travel coordinator, Meeting room management and amenities, State coordinator, plus I would make a cake for everyone’s birthday.

This is not me thinking I am Miss wonderful, it was me remembering, just how efficient I could be, the main thing was when the father said to go work there. I had a job in town which I was floor manager, but I wasn’t confrontational as required.

But, working in the city, I learned, I watched, and I learned how to find things out, because I had a lot of contacts, but the main thing was the lesson of how to fight. How to stand up for myself and do it the right way.

My lesson has been, you don’t have to get all aggravated, just that something inside of me says, NOPE. And I fight the legal way, the right way and when I don’t have too. The lesson is he will fight for me, my father who is a jealous God, and I of him…

I was getting all anxious about a delivery, it is something I have wanted for a long time.

So, I found a bargain, and he even moved an appointment today for me.

New site, and instead of being delivered, it’s somewhere out in the world, running around.

It will come to me, I just know it…

For he is out working on my behalf, and something is never lost, it will be found.

Walking this walk has never been easy, it’s learning every day, and you can never ready yourself, for what might come.

I am reminded of this with times especially lately, you see I suffer with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and social anxiety. This came via trauma and not being allowed to deal with it.

In the last few weeks my depression wave hit, to anyone who has not experienced it, this is how it feels. I stopped walking through my little home and wham, it felt like I couldn’t move my legs, and felt like the blood drained from my body in the form of energy. I could not force myself to think, move or anything, all I could do was lay down, and go with it, I had no energy to fight, I just went to sleep for 5 hrs.

Then, for days after, you wake up, you need to rest after every exertion, toilet effort, showering exhausting, thinking about making food almost impossible.

I feel like this has come because of my life, I have run to do things, get things done and NOT TO REMEMBER.

Remembering, made me curl up in a ball and cry and feel deeply sad.

But, dealing with each step through my phycologist has opened a box full of things, that I didn’t understand before, you know, when your so close you cannot see the tree for the leaves.

But I know, boy do I know, this has been happening for a reason, I have always stood on this, what the devil uses for bad against me, God will flip it for his good. Because you cannot talk to a person, if you have not experienced it, for then you really do understand.

Being a light in this darkness, is what I am here for, I am here to show it does not define you. It strengthens you, beyond any way you imagine gaining strength from.

As I have said before, it feels like to me, like I clasp my fists and get ready to run into battle, it’s like getting a shield and sword in my hand and go right, it’s on.

One thing I know is, there are more than one way to fight, but you must not go in haste, you must hand it to the father, then be ready when he instructs it’s time.

I have said it once and I’ll probably say it again, this time of year is hard for me, many bad memories, the anxiety and mad people, drivers, kids, angry faces. It is really hard for me, and is a big hurdle every year.

Christmas should be filled with happy memories and cheer, for some it isn’t like that at all. But I must be happy for being here, that I can still get over this hurdle and appreciate the little things.

I have friends I use to go to church with and are so lovely, they invite me every year. My kids have their own lives, and it is less stressful, especially when they have two sides, so for years I have backed away.

I don’t have the power to fight an unknown source, so I leave it to God and just find joy in simple things, I like watching people, see how they work through this time of year. Especially those who I have noticed since living here.

I cannot get on board with the merchandising band wagon, I want someone to say, hey, I see your point and I get it.

So, as I deal with today, I pray you stop thinking about what you cannot do and just be thankful for what you do have. And remember just be blessed.

I have to be straight, because remember my old man was a compulsive liar. And I hated the manipulation of my other siblings to get their way and have no remorse for their wrongs.

When it comes to believing in Santa (you can also make satan out of the letters), we tell the kids to believe in a easter bunny, a tooth fairy, halloween etc and putting it bluntly it’s all lies.

Lies to our kids, lies to ourselves and creating a world where it’s fine to lie your butt off with no remorse.

You can pander to the machine in motion of spending money, or you can be bold and tell the truth.

Christmas is to celebrate coming together to share in a day picked to remember and to praise Jesus. you keep your tooth, so your parents know you haven’t swallowed it, easter is remembering his sacrifice, that he died a excruciating death for you and rose again, because he is the son of God, that is God.

How hard is it to be real, have we got so off track, that we lie so easy.

My mum would go shopping and ask me to come along to help her, if she chose an item and asked what I thought, I would be kind but truthful. And if she got offended, I would ask her, mum would you like me to lie to you, or tell you the truth. She would always, ask for the truth, and know that when I said, she looked beautiful, I meant every word.

I find, telling the truth, is not hard, just deliver it well. And know, when your truthful, God is taking account and tallying up all your wrongs and rights.

Sometimes the sheer lengths he goes to, to give you a message to me is beautiful.

It’s kind of funny, the little hints, like hello are you paying attention Bronie.

I find more and more, if I slow down, he has many things to show me, how he puts things in front of me and shows me another way.

Why, because we as humans always think we know the way, but really, we have no real clue at all.

I love it, I love the way he gives me an answer, how he shows me the way. It’s so tender, so gentle and sometimes, he is bam, HELLO. I have to laugh, it’s like having a friend you don’t see, but know there is no other way the message can be formed, because he gives you a second to confirm.

I do wish this time of year many pay attention and be open minded, because his love for you is beautiful.

Just breath, just be and trust him.

As I finished writing the last post, I got this, whatever era your life is in right now, count your blessings.

For, how you take each lesson on, is how your future plays out.

It is very much a lesson to learn and to keep in a safe place, for his lessons are the very best and needed even when we cannot see it YET…

God gives each one of us, gifts and talents to use, and build upon.

So, I had my monthly doctors visit and yes, many times, I think I am there to show how my faith keeps it real.

At my local doctors the receptionists, one has been so nice to me, so understanding and I found out last minute she was having twins.

My brain goes into auto pilot, what can I do that is low on cost, but meaningful as a gift. I found a bag on YouTube nappy bag, but I had to adjust it, I finished off two blankets, I had things sitting not finished, so it was a great find, making a simple bag, out of my stash of material. The worst part is it takes me a month, to sew something that would only take another a couple of hours. I know a few tricks that can take something that looks hard to simple zip zip and done.

I went online and found some muslin washers, summer outfits and then took it in with a big ribbon wrapped up. Funny, left it with my doctor, and she was raving about it, I told her not to look to close.

My mum taught me how to sew, then sewing was at school. One of my many jobs over the years was in a clothing factory, one machine no one else could master but I did. Even the bosses couldn’t figure it out, so when I left, they asked me back to train someone, because when you have a contract, it even comes down to 2 or 4 stitches over the tag to finish or amount of fabric sleeve length finished etc.

And, with my brain, if I can see it done, I know I can make it, and luckily most things I do laying down.

The excitement over what I never notice as a gift, I count this another blessing, not to make myself feel important or proud, but to bless someone else.

My gifts hospitality, cooking, sewing making thinks, this could be as simple as a bouquet of flowers from the garden. I know how to put things together to look really expensive, but cost is minimal.

This is an example a cheap box from what we call the reject shop, and tissue paper, get some of those truffle chocolates. Look in the kitchen aisle and see what you may be able to pick up to add in, A nice box open with tissue paper, a bottle of wine, glasses and truffle chocolate and maybe a xmas bit of bling included and clear cellophane and tie it up. It looks expensive but the last one I made in total cost me $12.

I like not buying what everyone else has, but making an original, because every person is individual and deserves something made with them in mind.

As I shop, an expensive looking candle half price or more, a mug and some home cooking (biscuits or slice) and some chocolates, made to look expensive and wholla.

After writing this, thank you father for granting me these gifts, it has brought joy to others and to me.

Sometimes it is very hard to figure out why certain things happen.

My car engine, when it died, somewhere inside of me, I knew the answer would be sitting waiting for it to come to a revelation, I just had to wait.

Sitting here this morning, it came to me, you see this time of year I don’t like it. Why, christmas has always had the worst memories, so all the people rushing around, my brain goes, nope I’m out of here.

Back to the point in question here, my car engine dying, it was God that kept it going, even my mechanic had to agree.

The blessing I found is, not being able to go out and be around all the madness, it is such a great gift, because with my PTSD, kids running around in aisles etc, nope I get so overwhelmed.

Instead, I have got on board with many deliveries which has been absolutely fabulous, but when I have had appointments, calling a taxi when I absolutely have no choice. Then I spread the blessing of God and his goodness.

So many people go overboard trying to do the best they can, but they get so stressed, so cranky, to me it doesn’t seem worth it.

And missing the point of the day, seems so obvious to me. But, I have found to shut up, the worst part is not being able to go out and find those hamper stuffers, my knees have really not been happy.

We have had a lot of cold days, then hot and back to cold. I am constantly checking my phone weather app to see what the heck it’s doing, even when it says it is not going to rain, you get a quick shower, it is not normal summer. But again, that in itself has been a blessing because 35C days are very hard to manage, especially as I cannot find my fan plug, I put it somewhere sensible. HA, wherever that may be lol.

The point, I keep thinking about is, everything is not done to you, it’s done for you.

This tidbit of wisdom is key to understanding that God is in control, not you for his plan for your life is all laid out, you have just got to be patient.