I was in bed this morning having a cup of tea, reading the word, saying my thoughts etc.
Then, my son and daughter came to mind.
When I surrendered my life to Jesus, it wasn’t a halfhearted, and only a words thing. Going through the motions, it was all in. In doing so, I put him first, then the church, then my kids and it wasn’t a, oh I love them any less. It is just the way; I felt that I had to prioritize my life and who I served.
As a mum, you do so much good and you get things wrong, because your only human. But then you get things in the right order and when you select a path as I have. It’s not about a cord holding me anymore, it is about standing and standing sometimes means, you have to stand alone.
I had never felt like I fitted anywhere before, yes, I tried, but something inside would not settle. And all along it was him, inside me and bringing to my remembrance that time where my first testimony happened.
So, this morning as I was sitting quietly in bed, I said these words, “father even if my children, don’t end up in heaven, it is a choice in life they have to make, and I am okay if it’s just me.” Now for me, the old version, the worlds version, this is huge.
And it’s not about me being a anything more or less than what I am. I just love my father Jesus, I stand in the place I am, because he has saved me over and over, when I have not felt like I deserved it.
My realisation is this, they are adults, they have a choice. They can end up in hell, burning naked for eternity or select the narrow path, sacrifice and end up in heaven.
Their decision is there’s alone, I am not going to waste my time and let emotion take hold. I have things he wants me to do. It is not a cold decision; it is not about me loving them less. Its finally me standing up for what I believe and not cowering to pressure.
I am not the enemy here, so stop pointing the finger. See with open eyes, instead of those poisoned by the world and those in it. Maturity, is making a calm educated choice…
Yes, I can still love them, but I will not be held back anymore, because my choice doesn’t suit them.
I pray, they come to the realisation of the truth, before it’s too late.