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Thinking of mum…

Sometimes and a lot lately, my mum has come to mind.

I am reminded of a picture she had; she told me that when she was pregnant with me, she stood in front of the picture and said, she wanted the baby to be a girl and her best friend.

Before she died, we had an extraordinary connection, that we understood. This made a moment so touching after she died.

After the funeral the church group she attended put on some snacks, the ladies behind the counter were really nice and I said to them I appreciated their time and that I was her youngest daughter.

The ladies told me this, your mum talked about her daughter, how they were so close and how she was so proud of her and how much she loved that she was her friend. I took that moment and said, oh that’s me, then one said, oh another daughter said it was her. I said yes she would, but she wasn’t but if that gives her peace today then, okay. The look I got was, yes I get you, and then acknowledging it was me after all.

My mum was unique and at times brutally honest. But, when she said something, like a couple of months before she went, “Bronie I really do love you, you do know that don’t you”.

So back to my point, because I have experienced things to do with others after they have gone home, every morning I say good morning to them, then good morning, Ruth Gwendoline my beautiful mum.

Twice I have seen her in heaven, twice with no emotion but I have asked that when we see each other again she smiles. Why, in heaven emotion or acknowledgment of who they are does not matter, you’re not more important than any other on your level. But you are there to pray, to work, to be assigned. And she knows this, but knowing she’s made it brings me joy, for her earthly life wasn’t nice, but her eternal life is.

I have taken the time to acknowledge the evidence shown to me and with that, the truth always stands…

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Sometimes you just gotta make that decision…

I was in bed this morning having a cup of tea, reading the word, saying my thoughts etc.

Then, my son and daughter came to mind.

When I surrendered my life to Jesus, it wasn’t a halfhearted, and only a words thing. Going through the motions, it was all in. In doing so, I put him first, then the church, then my kids and it wasn’t a, oh I love them any less. It is just the way; I felt that I had to prioritize my life and who I served.

As a mum, you do so much good and you get things wrong, because your only human. But then you get things in the right order and when you select a path as I have. It’s not about a cord holding me anymore, it is about standing and standing sometimes means, you have to stand alone.

I had never felt like I fitted anywhere before, yes, I tried, but something inside would not settle. And all along it was him, inside me and bringing to my remembrance that time where my first testimony happened.

So, this morning as I was sitting quietly in bed, I said these words, “father even if my children, don’t end up in heaven, it is a choice in life they have to make, and I am okay if it’s just me.” Now for me, the old version, the worlds version, this is huge.

And it’s not about me being a anything more or less than what I am. I just love my father Jesus, I stand in the place I am, because he has saved me over and over, when I have not felt like I deserved it.

My realisation is this, they are adults, they have a choice. They can end up in hell, burning naked for eternity or select the narrow path, sacrifice and end up in heaven.

Their decision is there’s alone, I am not going to waste my time and let emotion take hold. I have things he wants me to do. It is not a cold decision; it is not about me loving them less. Its finally me standing up for what I believe and not cowering to pressure.

I am not the enemy here, so stop pointing the finger. See with open eyes, instead of those poisoned by the world and those in it. Maturity, is making a calm educated choice…

Yes, I can still love them, but I will not be held back anymore, because my choice doesn’t suit them.

I pray, they come to the realisation of the truth, before it’s too late.

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I have to laugh at myself

It’s funny how the father can take a subject and teach you an easy lesson.

I started reading a little of the bible, trying to make myself read a little each day. So far, I am trying to motivate myself but seeing shorts of Charlie Kirk and then pointing the finger at myself.

Things are changing, I have felt a shift, it’s amazing how a simple act of diligence can make a huge different in the atmosphere.

We really need to keep it simple, be diligent and for me I am not afraid to stand and shout out his glorious name. Yes, I get odd looks, but I do not care, what others think.

I care about him, and that’s the important thing when the time comes for judgement.

Here is where I laugh, I am an over thinker to the point I get myself in a head space that should not be allowed. And that’s the key, do not allow it, so I started reading, about time lol.

Sometimes I have to say, deeerrr to myself, but that is fine, because it is a self-check. Which I think to be our best friend is really important.

Having so much fun with my new computer and phone, yay I am finally upgraded. I was taught you don’t buy on credit, you save, you go without until you reach your goal. And that is what I did, and getting the best deals.

I have also a modem and much more, yeeha. Thanks all to the father…

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Watching the sad news

I recently watched the sad news about Charlie Kirk.

One of the clips he talked using Alexander the great, what hit me was this, he is just as important today as Alexander was then.

The amount of people now going to church is astounding and why, because one man stood on the word. He made a decision and didn’t make it quietly, he was standing, trying to make the bible loud and clear and I hope he commended for that.

His wife was also showing that she lived by the word. Saying how she has forgiven that young man.

In the last month, I have said those same words listing those people in my past that have caused much pain to me. But as the father knows I wanted to say it and mean every word.

This breakthrough has released me; it has broken a cord that I had been tethered too. And the freedom is real.

Yes, I will not be allowing the devil back in my door, but I do wish them well and I have prayed for them. This freedom has also brought me to here, typing on my new computer and setting myself up for success.

I made a decision years ago, that if I was going to do something I was going to do it well. Instead of the past tethering me, I was going to step forward and not worry about money or any physical limitations. I am my father’s daughter, I am moving forward without any restraints.

To have this now part of my life has taken me every morning saying my good morning to the father and all his saints and angels and spirits. It has taken me reading a passage over and over until it became MY reality, and may I say NEVER GIVE UP, until it happens. Because remember his words, it happens in his time and his season. Just keep believing until that time.

All I have to end with is this, my father is ever present, ever helpful and ever brilliant. Hallelujah…

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Finally, part of the 21st Century

I have been struggling with an old phone and computer.

Well after having anxiety and freaking myself out, I got an update on both, why my phone would stop and could not add apps etc. Also, it was what I call cranky…

My computer the browser and the windows were very old, it was what I bought when I had my last full-time job and the company liquidated, and I got a very good and very professional computer cheap.

I was brought up with this, if you want something then save for it, don’t just go and be in debt. You will appreciate it more but also know you are debt free. And if I have to live off dim sims I will.

Little by little you have to replace things, what I did was and once they were delivered, I waited 2 weeks to turn them on, why, again I was so scared to do the wrong thing and I also got internet, as I had used my personal hot spot on my phone.

But everything works and I am so happy, I can type now sitting in bed and clear out all the old things I have and sell what I think is worth it.

Sounds like a plan, now I need my body to behave, supposed to have warmer weather on Saturday and Sunday so I pray for relief.

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Being warned…

The other day I came across something that said this and it scared me.

A woman who was an influencer online and she died, it went along the lines of and I keep saying this.

What are you doing to make the difference on Judgement day, for its coming.

Well it said allegedly that she was standing before Jesus and he said those words, you led 300,000 people away. Depart from me for I do not know you.

So 300,001 sent south, that frightens me why, because I understand, that this platform, I must be very careful.

My voice must be leading people in the right direction via my experience, all honest all open and free.

Yes many times I see, starting a pay user option, but how can you put a cost on the father. Nothing comes close, so I give my experience, my struggles and if anyone wants to read. Then they know a person, who has to walk the path, can testify to what glory can be experienced from the father.

Its not a game, its not a get money idea like youtube. Its just me, making mistakes, learning and the testimonies I have had. I am not asking for anything, I am giving, I am not in anyway leading on my path, but I am pointing out how if you love him, surrender and trust all things can happen.

Know as I pour my heart out on these pages, we are human, we struggle but we also never stop learning.

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Finding the answer…

When your sick, you forget your power in words.

You forget, what to say and how to say it.

Well, recently I came across a clip that was timely.

I said and named each of my ailments and got rid of this weight, I had carried for a long time.

You become free, when you realise, you have been given the instruction to cast out demons and you have to name them, you have to do it in such a way that you feel his power running through you.

Here its been so cold, but the last few days have been so sunny and it makes me happy.

So go ahead, if you have anything cast it out, get rid of that weight and see what he does in you.

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Does it ever make you think?

Watching youtube, I always wonder about what people think.

Why, the other day I came across this site that had people witnessing a vision of Jesus. One person said, are you filming it are you gonna put it on facebook.

My reaction in my head was this, you are witnessing an awesome sign, evidence of him. Get on your knees, praise him, ask him, exult him.

Are so many, in the world not understanding these signs, are they so cut off from the realisation of this. I am guilty of this, if something is upsetting I react first but I should pray first, centre myself.

I correct myself every time, why because I know the more I do, the more it will become second nature.

I am so grateful for everything, so thankful for the blessings, so aware I have nothing to do with it. But its all him, all the love of my life, the most beautiful father you can have in your life.

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Here we go with a beauty

Yesterday I had an appointment and by the end I started to talk about my belief in God.

I talked about miracles that had happened and about others I had prayed for and there miracle.

Then something struck me, I said boldly, “the world has tried to deny the bible, the word, the very existence of it. They have tried to silence any proof so they control the norm”.

Then I stated this and its truth, “the bible is not a book to deny, its our living history book, the greatest history book we have”. I then realised I should have added, its our history, our past our guide and our future.

Its all just like him in one, if you just read it and let him open up the words, for the full story to hit you.

For when I read it, its like I am transported, for him to show me what I need to see and experience.

This is truth like no other… and I stated, I live in the world but I am not of it.

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Dealing with demons

I have been struggling and yes I felt like I was being sat on by an elephant.

The weight of the things that I have been diagnosed with was like a consuming force.

Well, scrolling through youtube I found a short, this woman repeated how it says to cast out demons.

So, I sat up and started naming them and casting them out.

Well didn’t it work quickly, I feel so light I feel like I could float.