Over the christmas period, I felt myself have a real downer, like my emotions hit bottom.

Why, christmas has always throughout my life been a memory of chaos, stress, yelling and heart break. So when it rolls around, I want January sooner, rather than later.

So, christmas day I was invited to a home for lunch, and I am being honest, one word that hit the note, I ended up in tears.

I think about my kids, you know when you love them, but you have to stand on your beliefs, even when they don’t agree. I know how things affect me, I cannot make anyone understand, how I feel the way I do.

But he knows, I have always excused the things that hurt me, from those closest because I didn’t want to admit, they sucked. I didn’t want to know or face the truth in, they let me down, when all they should have done was protected me.

I have excused abuse, I have been quiet about physical assault, I have excused them, because I have understood the foundation on which they functioned, but then facing it, it hurts so much. To know my life could have been so much more than it was, but you cannot redo, what has been, all you can do is make the now, right. So as I sit here with tears again, I thank the father for carrying me, caring when others did not and for saving my life, when I tried to end it (this was many years ago).

You see, I am being open, to make anyone who may be struggling through a hard time, that it is gonna be ok, just take a breath and trust him, for through the tears, joy will come… in his time and season.

Just hold on and be blessed.

I know, I cannot just sit before you and look into your eyes.

But as I have read back, certain posts, it scares me, when the message comes through for me to pass on.

Because sometimes, it is not just from me, but definitely from him.

This site was created, because I have a natural nack to write, from my heart.

Its not about earning money, because I have not set it up that way, I started this, because I began a journey.

Not knowing where it would lead, what mountains I would have to overcome, but my truth, my tribulations and exposing, those things others like to hide from.

Trusting the process, his procedure and just hanging on for the ride, even if it becomes a roller-coaster.

Because, he is worth it all, every word, every tear I have sat here and shed, that you do not see.

Why, it is very important, that whom ever he wants reached, he will use this to find the way.

Someone might be on the fence, someone might be in so much pain, inside they are screaming, but they know, reading my journey, to not give up. And as I share, how I hang on, how I may stumble, but how I pick myself up again.

Because the world isn’t my drive, but my mandate to finish as I live in it.
So you don’t need to see me, all you have to do is know, how much he LOVES YOU…

When I started reading the bible again, because I thought if my mum was dyslexic and read from back to front and front to back, then I can too.

Sometimes I can read, normally, other times I need too begin where he instructs more often than not.

But, when I started again, I felt tingles, from the tips of my toes, going up my legs.

When I feel the spirit moving, I know things are happening. That is so key here, tapping into all senses when you work diligently towards him.

Making your way, slow and steady.

I was thinking of my comment, and how it was in the bible, knowing the anti Christ is working in individuals. But my hope is, people become smart and realise, that some leaders are totally working for the person in the mirror, not GOD.

God is accessed through Jesus, but God won’t do a thing unless you ask and respect his son.

When I need a car-park, I ask as my car warms up, “Father God, can I have a car-park (exact spot), in Jesus mighty name” every time, every where I ask, I receive. And do not forget to thank him, will all the thanks you have to give.

How do you ask, do you do it with respect, do you ask with so much sense of the power, to which you ask.

Do you? Do you want to get to know him, do you really love him. Its time to ask these questions, now…

When you do what he requires, change takes place.

I heard from my daughter and the miracle is, our conversation was the clearest its been since her early teens. She is very sick in hospital, so if you feel the need to pray please do.

I read that book, did what it said, felt the spirit atmosphere change and bazinga, things began to happen.

This is not the only thing, keep going father, I am happy to receive it all.

Pushing myself to watch the news, it pulls on my heart seeing so much destruction. Man wants to destroy not build beauty.

But then I think, who are these individuals making the orders, I am sure they are sitting comfortably in situ. While the innocent perish..

How is this fair, then I think of their eternal life and how they will pay, for the rest of it, for the pain they have caused.

Man, seems to have a need to CONTROL, but ultimately they have none. Think about it, how do you control really, you may think you do, but the illusion is NOT AT ALL.

Your desire to control, becomes a mindset, that stops you feeling, stops you building, stops you from growing. And steals from you, even before or even if ever you realise it.

If we want to live in peace, then know who created it, the world your trying to take over. You have no power to do so and you can only get so far, before the elastic band, will either snap or sling you back to reality.

This is what I know to be true… Kneel before him, for your sense of power, is from the enemy who wants to destroy you…

Sometimes the most simple things, are the most important.

It may seem strange to some, but I love the simple things, every little things others don’t register, registers to me.

Because, its those that matter most, in the end.

I read a book and cut strands that had been holding me, strands that bound up, what was mine to claim and let me say this, “father I claim all that you have for me and I thank you, that by grace it is mine, by divine right.”

Keep it simple, you are not stupid, just need a little reminder…

Its about 2024, thinking of my mothers birth date, 24, I believe this is going to be an exceptional year.

I have been trying to keep my mind and hands occupied and I made this bag, one of many, as I like to keep going, learning along the way. Trying to use my brain power, finding new things and ways of doing the same thing better and putting a procedure on how together in my head.

This is a small bag, I make 3 sizes as we all like different things.

It gives me food for thought, as it becomes second nature, I find myself more and more thinking of him, then someone txt me saying a spirit was helping me and me, knowing I am not putting this together in the certain sequence. But driven, by it, to do so, amazes me when each one is finished.

Then I wonder, do other people allow the fathers access?

It seems so simple, access to your gift, access to your spirit, access to all.

But when I get a feeling, I know its true and real, then all it has to do is materialize.

Which is now, what is happening.

I was wondering why I have no desire for what is in the world, yes I would like to own the home I live in, and but one desire to build, to have the chance to make a home the way it should be done, as I see it.

Finding this place in the word helped, “Do not love the world, or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him. For all that is in the world, lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – is not of the father, but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.”

Then as I have always said, “man can take the word and crap all over it” meaning using it to his own benefit, and not the fathers, turning the hungry away from God.

Then I find in Peter

exactly what I had said only days before. The word is our guide and I want those who have been turned away by wrong thinking, and to know, he loves you.

Each one, and isn’t what those individuals have said to you, he is perfect.

I had once been around individuals who believed what I considered very wrong, only for them. God is not mine, but he is my father. And father to all whom have a love and drive to seek him. Even those who don’t, this is what is simple to me.

Love, covers all…

I was scrolling through the internet and found someone making my rissole recipe. Then another using my idea for frozen cooked onion.

Then I thought to myself, they are getting money, for my idea. What was I thinking, giving away for free, that which could have bought another good pair of shoes.

And this was my Christmas gift to myself, shoes that support my painful feet. The instant relief was so shocking, I have promised myself more to replace the $6 crappy ones I have been using.

I am removing all those extra, unused items from my home, its time to change in a big way, and this is key to being able to breath.

For I was taught to save things, you may need them or never say no. But then you have so much, that is just stuff and it needs to be prioritised too. What do I use, keep that only and rid myself of the overburden items and get money to buy those decent shoes.

I have been wrestling with guilt, manipulation of items and its time to break this stronghold.

I was giving myself time off, because I also tore my shoulder muscle. And because a friend of mine and I had a falling out.

But, was I about to get corrected.

You see, sometimes it takes others to deliver the message, and boy was it a whamo.

I forgot these key words, IF YOU DILIGENTLY SEEK HIM. Well I did not, I took time out, to catch my breath and fell off the perch I was sitting on.

But, I needed it, so after licking my wounds and realising I needed to pick up my game. I am back to reading the word, praying on and off and making him, a priority again.

We all need a whamo at times, it does us good to get, a bit of a shake.

And for me, boy did I need it, however much it shook me. I am thankful for it…