The other day I came across something that said this and it scared me.

A woman who was an influencer online and she died, it went along the lines of and I keep saying this.

What are you doing to make the difference on Judgement day, for its coming.

Well it said allegedly that she was standing before Jesus and he said those words, you led 300,000 people away. Depart from me for I do not know you.

So 300,001 sent south, that frightens me why, because I understand, that this platform, I must be very careful.

My voice must be leading people in the right direction via my experience, all honest all open and free.

Yes many times I see, starting a pay user option, but how can you put a cost on the father. Nothing comes close, so I give my experience, my struggles and if anyone wants to read. Then they know a person, who has to walk the path, can testify to what glory can be experienced from the father.

Its not a game, its not a get money idea like youtube. Its just me, making mistakes, learning and the testimonies I have had. I am not asking for anything, I am giving, I am not in anyway leading on my path, but I am pointing out how if you love him, surrender and trust all things can happen.

Know as I pour my heart out on these pages, we are human, we struggle but we also never stop learning.

When your sick, you forget your power in words.

You forget, what to say and how to say it.

Well, recently I came across a clip that was timely.

I said and named each of my ailments and got rid of this weight, I had carried for a long time.

You become free, when you realise, you have been given the instruction to cast out demons and you have to name them, you have to do it in such a way that you feel his power running through you.

Here its been so cold, but the last few days have been so sunny and it makes me happy.

So go ahead, if you have anything cast it out, get rid of that weight and see what he does in you.

Watching youtube, I always wonder about what people think.

Why, the other day I came across this site that had people witnessing a vision of Jesus. One person said, are you filming it are you gonna put it on facebook.

My reaction in my head was this, you are witnessing an awesome sign, evidence of him. Get on your knees, praise him, ask him, exult him.

Are so many, in the world not understanding these signs, are they so cut off from the realisation of this. I am guilty of this, if something is upsetting I react first but I should pray first, centre myself.

I correct myself every time, why because I know the more I do, the more it will become second nature.

I am so grateful for everything, so thankful for the blessings, so aware I have nothing to do with it. But its all him, all the love of my life, the most beautiful father you can have in your life.

Yesterday I had an appointment and by the end I started to talk about my belief in God.

I talked about miracles that had happened and about others I had prayed for and there miracle.

Then something struck me, I said boldly, “the world has tried to deny the bible, the word, the very existence of it. They have tried to silence any proof so they control the norm”.

Then I stated this and its truth, “the bible is not a book to deny, its our living history book, the greatest history book we have”. I then realised I should have added, its our history, our past our guide and our future.

Its all just like him in one, if you just read it and let him open up the words, for the full story to hit you.

For when I read it, its like I am transported, for him to show me what I need to see and experience.

This is truth like no other… and I stated, I live in the world but I am not of it.

I have been struggling and yes I felt like I was being sat on by an elephant.

The weight of the things that I have been diagnosed with was like a consuming force.

Well, scrolling through youtube I found a short, this woman repeated how it says to cast out demons.

So, I sat up and started naming them and casting them out.

Well didn’t it work quickly, I feel so light I feel like I could float.

I like to have backup…

So something is going on, security is required for my family, please pray for the safety and an outcome to put the person in prison.

Without any harm to us…

As I get older, I feel it more and more, people think or treat me as if I’m stupid.

Well, my monitor died and I had to get another one, but my plugs are different, so I found a converter and plugged her in, reading the manual of course.

And yay for allowing him to assist, she works and to why I am typing away now. LOL

Recently something took place and I got angry…

I’m not talking about just anger here, I’m talking about spitting fire balls.

Why, I was at my appointment and I broke down crying, gasping for air. Why, well when I have had trauma, I have never been allow to deal, to acknowledge and to sooth. So it comes back as if I’m still there and that hits you.

But I also remember all the things and times that people have stolen from me and I got angry. But I also stated if the thief be found he must restore 7 fold, no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

And that old saying that hit first ask questions later. I grew up in the country and I will not back down, I will not hide and I will not live in fear again.

So, the little girl will be okay in me and I will rise like a phoenix. I am my fathers daughter and I know the power that comes with that.

Recently I have been trying to get out more, social anxiety kicks in and I lock myself away.

But, when you feel his kindness towards you and his assistance, it makes you believe you can go out and go shopping.

You see, people more than 3-6 start me off, people yelling, kids squealing. You know, the normal things, well, I’m out.

Yes, it has it days, depending on many things. Speaking with professionals its all linked to the trauma.

But I always say, a little kindness does wonders, it helps you, but I feel his presence, I know I am never alone and I can, because he made me.

For my lifetime I have had anxiety attacks, PTSD and depression, also social anxiety.

So, what does an attack look like, when I have to get up and speak.

Well, one night at church, I was asked to speak on a subject, no one knew what was in my head. How I was freaking out, but I wrote it all down.

Then as I stood, I started to cry, my nose ran uncontrollably. I kept apologising, using some sort of funny excuse, I didn’t want anyone to know.

I was so overwhelmed, but I had to do it. I had to fight the good fight and say the words I had written.

This past week, I have not been out in the car, I have gotten groceries delivered etc and not gone outside.

Why, kids holiday and too many at the supermarket, I just get to the point of, I can’t, I shut down, I curl up and lock the door.

I have to get my license renewed, this is a picture and confronting myself, which seems easy, yes. Oh no, I am trying to convince myself, just do it, don’t think about it, just go, but, it might take a few more days.

Pray for me…. Lord help