The other day, I was so happy that my car was unloaded and the stuff was gone.

Donating to others makes you feel good, I prayed for the exact car parks I received.

Yes I pray for things like this because its so hard to move, and boy my lower back is not happy, but being determined, I just had too get it out of this house.

So, here I sit in massive pain, thanking god for online grocery shopping.

But I will still praise the lord for his assistance in doing it bit by bit and clearing out my home.

Now I need my back to cooperate and then I can finish a friends bag, from the pile yet to be done.

I need my body to function lord, please I pray, click it back in and remove the pain. Amen

I have to admit, sentiment and voices in my head, with rules applied to hold onto things, were overloading me.

I got to a point of, where do I start, it took months to get the courage or even know where to begin.

Yes, I am sure many people feel that way, after having my thyroid removed my energy has been close to nill.

But I wanted to be able to breath, I needed to be able to breath.

So, next time I went to put something in the kitchen cupboard, I saw an item. I had not touched or used, so out, I started piling up things. Then I attacked the pantry, electrical appliances not used, out she goes.

I realised that many people are in need so why am I holding onto them. I had to cull the lot, so now as I go through things again, I get braver, I get stronger and I feel happy.

Joy, it can come from this simple task and yes it is simple. You just got to start, I have to set things up in sections. In my head I allocate a section or area, and I start that way.

Before you know it, you sit here and tell the world, how changing the mind set, from the world to his way. Freedom comes, space takes over and you get a much bigger room, a much bigger spiritual air space around you.

And that is why this effort has been so worth it, I want my fathers access to me to be as uncluttered as my home.

I have been bagging up many items, my car is again full to overload.

Donations are going out and clear mind is in…

It always surprises me, when I have bags cluttering up the hallway, or bedrooms.

But when you clear it out, boy oh boy, what a great feeling.

I have gone through cloths twice now, kitchen twice, and it feels good.

Many many more things to go, I need to feel the freedom it gives, I no longer have to hold onto things because of where they came from. I am keeping what I like, what I use and the rest, out she goes.

My spirit feels liberated, yes that is it, liberated.

I want my rooms clear, clean and the flow of spirit not blocked by things.

It may be autumn, but it is a new day, a new me and I feel so good about it all.

I posted something and I have been told its the negative, sneaking in trying to get me back into the enemies hands.

Well, I deleted the post, I am working on his path, not the enemy.

It makes me realise every time, how sneaky the enemy can be.

I listen, I act and I delete.

Please delete it from your spirit, if you read it…

Thank you, see we learn every day, and we must keep alert at all times.

I have seen the father using Trump to astound and job smack the world.

Please understand he is the fathers vessel and he is doing what he is instructed.

He is an instrument, being used to correct the wrongs and set things in place.

You may not understand this, but I have seen the sign and I trust the process.

It is not up to me to question the grand architect, it is up to me to accept the plan.

For the plans and purposes I have for you….

You know what it says, so trust him. Whatever happens… TRUST

I have found it hard to let people in, yes having had experiences that did rock me to the core. It is hard, I need a certain amount of time, to see if what is said rings true.

Many times, people get one side of a story, and sometimes it is, just a story.

But with me, if I let you near me, count your blessings, you have established a foundation and its up to you whether you break it or not.

History does dictate the present, because you become extra vigilant, extra wary and that is no one fault. It is just how it is, presently, I am not one to throw the past in anyone’s face unless you play dirty and try to push me in the wrong way.

It is how I have been honed over time, I try every day to move into him, because I know its a better place to be, I know how far of a level I have grown in the understanding of him.

Many who just go to church have not yet reached that far, and that is their journey. If I can assist anyone, to just keep strong and keep pushing, then this blog of mine is well worth, well worth the time and the openness in which I share some of my journey.

A step in the right direction, to put you on the path he had planned for you all along, be brave, be strong and trust him with all you have.

The other day I was sitting quietly, talking to the lord, then I could hear a faint response.

Yes world, this may seem so foreign to you, but when you know him. You cannot rebuke the knowledge you have experienced.

Its amazing to me, every time, why because how wonderful is it. How precious is he, when you let him in.

Again, I had something happen and all I could do, is sit with him. I have nothing else to give and nothing else to have.

Listening many times as a human worldly brain is hard, hard to fathom what I am on about, not knowing how a book could be real, how a history spoken about could have happened.

But how many go to tarot reading etc and believe that millarky. Trust me, when I was in the world I knew things, I did these and I know its from the enemy. But do not ever discount how he can turn you around, how he can direct your path in the right way.

There is a book that was suggested to me and boy is it an eye opener. Why, we so often whine and whinge about ourselves or others and we get so wound up, we cannot see straight anymore.

But, when you say his words the right way, things are aligned correctly, you can feel it.

As I sit here I am patiently waiting for ancestry to establish the worldly past connections. Why, that voice of my mum stating things, but with my family, you cannot trust documents, you cannot trust stories. You have to dig, dig past all the rubbish to find the truth and to me this is the start. I found once I started I could hear my mum laugh, she knew I never believed a persons word. Because so many times it turned out to be a lie. So, the earth has been broken with the shovel, now I wait…

As I have stated before, I see a physiologist, to deal with my trauma and nightmares.

I am stating that even me, I have needed the past to be deal with each step at a time.

Growing up, I grew up, with what I refer too as my normal, but it was far from it.

Each year, at the end of November, early December, I feel myself shutting down, I close the curtains and I wait for this dreadful feeling of not being able to breath leave me.

So, I don’t like Christmas, I don’t like the lies, I don’t people at that time of year. Why, it has take time to figure out why, is this time so life altering for me.

Well it finally hit home, one of my worst instances happened. It changed me from happy, to screaming inside, to feeling unsafe physically and mentally. I was aware that my body was a major draw for hurt.

So as I aged, as I grew and my body transformed, I disliked that time of year more and more. I disliked the fact my body was hour glass shaped and I was only wanted for it, and not my heart or mind, that I was only a thing for abuse. But it sits under the surface as to why, I have been single for 24 years.

When I was younger I stated, I wasn’t any good for anyone, because I was damaged goods.

I now know, I am who I am because my father has me, I am safe where he is and that is with me constantly.

So the times I go quiet are totally understandable, my life as I stated and he acknowledged was never meant to be this way, but here I sit, knowing that I cannot change until I deal with each step.

But, I also know, I am woman hear me roar, when I need to roar and I take no prisoners when I do. And that is something that has built within me, when it comes to so far, I will not stand anything anymore and I will fight back.

Like the time as the one year anniversary of my mums death came, that letter. Accusing me that all he did to me, was my fault. Oh no you don’t, I let out a scream built up for 26 years, I went down to the police station and let out the secret kept for so long. The person was grooming there own daughter, my daughter also told me of an incident.

That lovely police woman stating the truth, “honey its not you, it is him, he is a case book pedophile” just hearing that made all the hurt audible, it made getting a restraining order being acknowledged. It made the fathers words that day, when I kept stressing, am I doing the right thing.

I then heard his audible voice and he stated as I got dressed in the bathroom, “justice will be done on earth as it is in heaven”. What a gift, when I needed him the most, he answered. I will never forget the police officer who sheltered me at the time of the court hearing, who said to me, just keep looking at me, put your back to him, focus on me. The judge saw my face, he knew, the abuse councilor who also came with me, stated they give an order for 3 or 6 mths nothing more. Well as the judge asked, “is he your …” all I could muster was a lip sealed grunt as acknowledgement, he used the law to help me and for the first time gave him 1 year, “do not contact her, do not go near her, do not use any friends to find out information or I will have your butt put straight into jail.”

I thought about that the other day, because I have questioned over and over, what good it will do, to bring him to justice now, I cannot get my memory taken away, I cannot make up for lost time, I cannot ever see myself loved via marriage or having a normal life. Because he took my normal away for so long, but remembering the fathers words has made me think again, it may not be too late after all.

Maybe the time is coming for JUSTICE on earth…

About 2 or so months ago, something on the tv said, “city of angels” instantly, I said inside, “city of demons” and its about to burn.

Now if I said anything, no one would have listened, not one person. Now, I say wait for the rain, for the hills will fall.

I know for only a certain amount of time, can you abuse a place or form, then judgement day comes.

Seeing a place so out of wack, so self obsessed that all honour, respect and gratitude has left there souls.

Money, blinds so many, they are then surrounded by people not stating the truth and they are so brittle with instant emotion, they cannot hear it.

The old fashioned values and the terms stated in the bible are let float away on the wind, so they to me, live in a world of material and unholy terms and conditions.

Sodomy, cheating etc, will not allow you to come near heaven. And when you leave, what chaos have you left behind for the next generation.

If anyone speaks a truth, oh my. But a whole lot of business is built on gossip, lies and acting kissing or making scenes that’s so wrong I cannot even begin. Letting bad behaviour be ignored because they are famous, famous for what, behaving ………. come on.

Someone needs to say, life eternal, where are you going to end up.

Its a fair question, just living in the now with what you have or what your are, may not be so great.