Chapter 10

 Now stay with me, this should all make sense at the end. I find I go around and circle sometimes come back and it all fits.

I chose the Dark Cloud, because for 52 yrs I lived in one, so to me the heading seemed somehow, familiar.

This book and the Melchizedek one has given me, tools & I feel gifts yet to come, things beyond anything else that has been, before.

Before I started to read, I prayed that I would get it and it became so easy. My large head finally came to good use.

Before these books, I prayed to him, I felt there was something more and I got it answered. I have times when I can feel it, in the spirit, something going on.

In the chapter about the Dark Cloud, the book speaks about Building tenderness between God and me, and dying to flesh, I know that when you get hurt, the flesh can scream. So face death, head on.

But that is such a key, taking it on and winning, how, by The purposeful pursuit of the presence of God, which needs to be your single desire.

I cannot express what it’s like to always live and be condemned, from just breathing to anything above; I had existed, but felt not been part of the living.

Once condemnation was broken last year, exactly a year yesterday, the light was turned on. I felt and knew this was a large step, so tick.

I have mental ticks, steps and a data base, it’s busy up here.

I read that, you have fellowship in the light, I believe you have to have understanding why people don’t get it, I felt I had experienced both sides. So to me this makes sense.

But then you have to be pure and how to do that is, by the Blood of Jesus Christ.

That’s when the light gets turned on, you then know the truth. “that love really starts at the cross” you have got too ask for his help, and nail all your rubbish to the cross even the muck.

I desire God, because putting it simply, he’s my Dad. And when you finally have one, you want to do everything in your power, to honour that.

The book says, it’s not about a spiritual experience, it’s not about having a spiritual experience. Because chasing a spiritual experience is just that, a split second, then nothing.

It is about your desire, to encounter God, which then creates the atmosphere for a spiritual experience.

YOU NEED TO CHASE THE PERSON OF GOD. This is something I always thought, it’s like when you’re a parent, your children see you as just mum, but what about who I am.

It’s the same with him, the book just backed up what I thought to be right.

I take each step and look at the message, then read the message behind it. What does God want me to understand here?

Not, engaging the realm of heaven, but engaging the kingdom, they are different but you need to make sure you take the steps to get to where, he needs us to be.

I have heard for many years and I am so humbled by what Jesus did for me.

I remember watching The Passion and whaling like a broken child, I remember crying out saying, I am so sorry Lord, it’s so true, they did not know what they did.

But always in my mind, I kept thinking about my father GOD, he made heaven and earth, with all that is in it.

He gave his son, for us, and it seems over time we have forgotten the raw magnitude of what has been done.

Over time we have watered down, the power of what was done and we need to get it back.

The book, also spoke about using pain, as a springboard to drive you to God and to engage God.

If you have never lived with fear and terror as part of your life or felt safe, you will never understand how much easier it feels to face it. Because you get him on the other side, so it’s win. win.

Trust, when you choose him and ask for his help and trust yourself in his hands, miracles will happen.

“But you must wait, wait for him, he knows the right time and season to make the most impact.” That is what I got strongly from this.

I am so grateful for what has been done for me; every step is another lesson learned, and I make sure I am paying attention, as I read he brings things to my remembrance or even shows me something new.

But I remember his word, for he knew me before I was in my mother’s womb.

When I read, he made me for HIS purpose, not mine, and knowing within me, that no one is more important.

I use to question in my mind why we couldn’t see God, I heard someone say I would die. For some reason, it never seemed like a bad outcome, you get to go home.

The book speaks about the veil of darkness, the terror and horror and physically wetting himself, then stating that’s what washing machines are for anyway.

Knowing that fear is used to hold you, to shut you down and shut you up. It’s just an illusion, facing it gives you, freedom.

I am not going to lie down and take it. I am going to use what he gives me.

I am who I am, because I have seen his work in my life. What was used against me has built a tenacity I cannot express.

This passion rising within and getting stronger with each page, I know now that I have nothing to be afraid of anymore, and I cannot remain silent.

God is calling, calling for you & I to be a son or daughter in the house, a child honours there parent, and honouring him, not just as the Alpha and Omega, but the person he is.

Since reading the realms, and living a life of fear previously, I believe I am being tested, to deal with what is still there, but to see if I am going to honour what I have said to him.

Things which are happening, I have seen a room, heard a name, demons and the smell, father says to me FEAR NOT, ok, repeat in my head, Jesus is my brother and I have the love of the Lord.

Again another name, this time eyes open, but ears shut, repeat, the love for the Lord, he is king of kings is my father god.

Yesterday, I had a vision/dream told were going to the 1000 floor, the floor was clear of the elevator, oh and no walls.

OMG the funny thing, I really don’t like heights. And I was prepared,

I had with me, one of my brown towels, encase I vomited or wet myself.

Got to the top, floor swaying, the elevator was on the outside of the building, I couldn’t get off, I said, send me back down to floor 450 give me a second, and I will try again.

What I saw with that, was my willingness to face the fear, but to also try again, when I failed.

Things are taking place, once I read about the Veil, I said out Loud, father God I am coming, don’t know when, but I AM COMING.

When it comes to an activation, I get myself ready and shout out, RIGHT. Like I am about to take hold & giving myself over to totally believing everything I am saying.

When I read page 163, I lost it, I cried over and over each time I read what  he wrote “I heard this drip drip drip, it was God crying, he said, it’s been a long time since anyone has been here, son.

The thought of God crying because no one, has got out of their own way and truly put him first, somehow stops me with a WHY.

Well I say, what more do you need, if you love him, if you have the desire, then use it to get to him, I WILL SEE YOU THERE…


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